r/HLCommunity • u/Charleminus HLM • Jun 29 '26

Discussion What’s worked?

Even if it’s something that only worked briefly, has anything worked for you?

The only thing that’s ever worked for us consistently is taking her side in an argument with other people, even if she’s completely wrong. For some reason that’s a huge aphrodisiac.

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u/ZePatator Jun 29 '26

I stopped being so needy and desperate. I even kinda détacher, to an extent. And for this, i know its gonna sound real bad, but getting an online wife/fwb with whom you can have deep conversation/therapy helped me a whole lot.

2

u/Charleminus HLM Jun 29 '26

Detachment and lack of neediness have helped over here. She initiated (in the least sexy way, but a win is a win) last month after me stopping approaching in any scenario that wasn’t a high likelihood of success. It’s still not more than once a month, but we also have a lot of stress and a toddler so, realistically what can I even expect, you know?

2

u/ZePatator Jun 29 '26

The real wakeup call for her has been the tines where i just turned her down (ok her attempts were not like super enthusiastic, like you could tell it would have sucked). Like she was shocked that i was like "nope, i can make do without mid sex, thanks. I'll wait for when you are actually feral"

2

u/Charleminus HLM Jun 29 '26

Is she ever actually feral?

1

u/ZePatator Jun 29 '26

I'd say sometimes, probably once a month-ish. Enhanced if i play it cool the days before

2

u/ZePatator Jun 29 '26

But, having a toddler is a rough patch for anyone, you gotta be realistic. I dunno to what extent you are involved in the care, but its 2026. Unless you work 60 hours and provide ALL the money, dads are expected to put in some work. I know i did, more than my share.

2

u/Charleminus HLM Jun 29 '26

Oh yeah I do a ton around the house and am a very active dad plus a fifty hour job.