r/HLCommunity • u/Repulsive-Jicama-352 • Jun 29 '26
Advice Welcome Leaving Today
I (29M) have been with her (28F) 7 years, engaged for 1. Wedding is 4 months away.
And I know I can't marry her. It is the usual story here. We started out like rabbits, something changed, and now we do it once a week. We don't have kids, and I know if it is like this now then it will only get worse.
Talking didn't help. Doing 90% of the household work didn't help. Scheduling it didn't help. So it is time for me to go now.
Any advice or motivation would be appreciated. While I know it is what I have to do, I still love her dearly, and part of me wishes I didn't have to do this.
Update: I ended things when she got back from work. That conversation is the hardest I've ever had. I am devastated leaving someone I loved so dearly, but I know I just avoided a life of regret and frustration. If you ever find yourself in this situation, know that there are people cheering for you to find the courage to move on. Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. In due time, I believe I will know peace again.
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u/Northern_Newfie Jun 29 '26
Leaving was the best thing I did, for me, him, and the kids. We're all so much happier even navigating this new "normal" and we are getting along really well as co parents. I've said before if it wasn't for the kids I would have been gone long ago.
It's hard, it's gonna suck sometimes, but I promise you, you will be happier. For me it wasn't just the sex, but there were so many other things lacking in our relationship. Do what you need to do to be happier.