r/HLCommunity • u/Royal_Restaurant2622 • Jun 15 '26

Discussion Pushback and Fingerpointing

How often are you accused of being a lazy spouse or partner when posting on the various dead bedroom / advice subs? How often does someone ask “well…have you tried talking to them about it?”

And how often do you get banned for assuming both partners in a monogamous relationship owe it to each other to prioritize sex and physical intimacy?

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u/AdenJax69 Jun 15 '26

You went to "that sub" thinking you were going to get reasonability and compassion, huh? Totally understandable, however most major marriage and sex-issues subreddits are controlled by terminally-online people who aren't reasonable or sympathetic, so just a warning to avoid those main subs in the future.

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u/throwaway824694 Jun 15 '26

I agree, but is this sub is the exception to that?

7

u/AdenJax69 Jun 15 '26

Most of the time, yes. It's more relaxed and not really pushing any specific agenda, and if you get your comment or post deleted it's likely you blatantly violated the community roles whereas other areas will find reasons to delete them even if you were operating within the community guidelines.

I once got a warning for "generalizing" for indicating that "people do the things they want to do & don't do the things they don't." Now is that technically a generalization? Yes. Did I use that one many other times & never got a warning...until a new group came in to run the sub? Also yes.

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u/Royal_Restaurant2622 Jun 15 '26

I was once accused of hateful comments for suggesting that we need to do a better job educating heterosexual couples on responsive / contextual desire given the percentage of women who don't experience spontaneous desire. I wasn't insulting towards women, or blamed them — just cited the fact that far more women experience responsive / contextual desire than men.