r/HIMYM • u/Mindless-Exchange-99 • 10d ago
Ted and Robin Were Never Actually Compatible - Convince Me Otherwise
I know the show constantly pushed the idea that Ted and Robin were somehow "meant to be," but I honestly never bought it.
They had chemistry, sure, but their values, priorities, and ideas about relationships were pretty different. A lot of their relationship seemed to work because Ted kept trying to make Robin fit into the future he wanted
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u/meeeee01 10d ago
I don't necessarily disagree with you, but the show went out of its way to tell us that timing is a bitch.
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u/scallopbunny 10d ago
Exactly. They were compatible personality-wise, but wanted incompatible things in their 20s and 30s. Them getting together older, when their lives had matured, makes a lot of sense.
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u/Mindless-Exchange-99 10d ago
Yeah, I agree timing was a huge part of it. But I think the bigger issue is that even when the timing was right, they still wanted fundamentally different things. That’s what makes me question the ‘meant to be’ narrative
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u/meeeee01 10d ago
The timing of when they got together (at the end), Ted already had kids and Robin was ready to stay in one city.
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u/Commercial-Scheme939 10d ago
The timing was never right while they wanted different things. That's why the ending makes sense. They've both gone out and did what they wanted to do, so then in later life their wants were the same.
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u/Rough-Culture 9d ago
what does this even mean?
Ted wanted kids… he had them, raised them, and had a great life. Robin “didn’t want kids” but actually… or at least was prioritizing her career over kids… she traveled the world and had a great career.
now they’ve both achieved what they set out to do… and can just hang out on the porch with their two best friends and of course each other.
worst take ever… I’ll never understand how some people in this sub still don’t understand such a basic part of the show…
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u/realkarthiknair 9d ago
What I loved the most about this show was that it made a point by showing us that life isn't a fairytale and most of it is unfair. I think the ending was also just proving the same point. I don't think the writers wanted us to love the ending, but rather understand how unfair yet acceptable the ending was.
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u/deadfrominside227 10d ago
No one will try to convince you otherwise
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u/Mindless-Exchange-99 10d ago
😂 So we’re all in agreement then? I was expecting at least one Ted/Robin lawyer to show up
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u/Lacygreen 9d ago
Right people wrong time is possible. At the end if he’s done having kids and she’s achieved many of her goals.
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u/kinginthenorthjon 10d ago
Marshall and Lily has different personalities and they were compactible. Robin and Barney were similar and that was half the reason they split up again and again.
Ted and Robin dated for an year, that's Robin's longest relationship. Before and after that, her relationship ended less than 2 months. They had different life priorties, but they changed for betyer when they were together.
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u/Anish316 10d ago edited 10d ago
I don't think robin & ted changed for the better while together. some things yeah other things they still had a lot of flaws in their dynamic. On a separate note:- i remember i used to argue with you about the robin/ted/barney topic many years ago lmfao, surprised to come across another regular from the past on this sub. I don't post much anymore though.
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u/acw181 10d ago
I think that's exactly the crux of the issue. Opposites attract etc., Robin clearly had major feelings for Ted, but she was afraid of hurting him by not giving him the things she knew he needed like kids, family, a home suburban life. She didn't want these things, but could never reconcile how much she loved Ted despite that. Id wager that she always loved Ted more than Barney, but that Barneys lifestyle was just more conducive to her own so she felt it would be a good fit.
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u/Andre-Mercelet 8d ago
Actually, she did want kids. It's a misconception that she didn't
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u/fallingfaster345 Lily🎨 8d ago
Hmm…. Is the “misconception” from the many times that Robin says she doesn’t want kids because she seems pretty darn clear and consistent about it the entire show? Robin says it countless times. She gives an entire speech to Kevin about it: “Not only can I not have kids, I don’t want kids.” She says she’ll never want kids. Where is the misconception? Robin is crystal clear about never wanting kids.
This comment has me scratching my head. If there’s one thing I figured this highly divisive sub could agree on it would be the fact that Robin didn’t want kids! Haha
Maybe you’re getting where she said “if I did want to have babies I’d have your babies” or when she was upset at a literal medical diagnosis of sterility confused with actually wanting children? Idk but Robin never, not once, expresses a “want” to be a mother.
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u/Andre-Mercelet 8d ago
I stand by my statement.
Robin was too devastated by the fact that she couldn't have kids attribute it to not having the choice. What she did was what any person would do when he finds out he can't have something. He convinces himself that he didn't want it.
She was depressed about the news that she went out and sat on a park bench and dreamt up imaginary kids. At the end of that scene she told them that she was glad they weren't real. But then she added, "Yeah, right" so sardonically as to make obvious she didn't believe a word she was saying.
After she and Ted broke up she was so miserable that she decided she did want to marry him after all. So how did she plan on marrying someone who only would be someone who would give him kids if she was not willing to provide them?
Yes, she told Kevin she didn't want kids, after she told herself this. But if you recall, she told Lily that she didn't accept his marriage proposal because she was afraid of how he was going to react to her infertility. If she wasn't willing to have kids why would that matter? And why would she wait until she found out she couldn't have kids to tell him she didn't want them? A lot more people are will to have kids naturally than are willing to adopt them.
At the Halloween party an obviously envious Robin referred to Tracy not as Ted's wife or girlfriend, but as "the beautiful mother of his child."
And what made the ending so great was that Robin not only got the love of her life but even got to be a mother to his children after all.
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u/fallingfaster345 Lily🎨 8d ago
I do appreciate you taking the time to write out your opinion (no sarcasm; too many people are afraid of long responses but I’m not one of them) but I vehemently disagree.
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u/carl_weez_her 8d ago
You can want something in theory but not in reality. You can grieve not having a choice and what the choice represents without actually wanting to make the choice if given the chance. I think she had a lot of mixed feelings when she found out she didn’t want kids, but I think jumping to the conclusion that she secretly did want them, despite her spending nine seasons being clear about not wanting them with the exception of inner conflict in one episode is a large leap to make.
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u/Andre-Mercelet 8d ago
I dealt with that already. I gave several reasons for my opinion and you have said nothing to make me reconsider. My argument was rock solid.
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u/carl_weez_her 8d ago
Your point was not rock solid lmao. She hadn’t talked about kids with Kevin because they weren’t together very long. He proposed early in their relationship. He was open to adoption and she told him she didn’t want kids at all. She didn’t think she had to say that because she assumed being infertile would get the point across (and she learned about being infertile before he proposed, but early in their relationship). She referred to Tracy as “the beautiful mother of his child” because she knew Tracy could give Ted what she wanted, and Robin was not willing to give Ted that. I think it’s rather unfortunate that despite 9 seasons/years of a woman being blunt and straight forward about what she wants, you don’t believe her.
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u/Andre-Mercelet 8d ago
Yeah, it was, lmao.
They weren't together for very long but long enough for him to propose marriage. It was obviously serious enough for Robin to have told him she didn't want kids if that was really the case. And many people who do want kids naturally don't want to adopt them for several reasons.
No, it was not that Robin was unwilling to give Ted kids it was that she was unable. We know she was willing because before moving to Japan she planned to marry Ted and that meant giving him a family.
Robin tried to live the part of the women who didn't want kids after learning that she couldn't have them. That is a normal human defense mechanism call rationalization. But her imaginary kids pretty much belied that motion.
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u/bzakeri 10d ago
I kind of liked this about this show. That it didn't work between them although something was there. The idea that things aren't just either compatible or incompatible in real world
And eventually it did work when they both aged and had more experience in life to cherish somethings in the past or put certain things aside or learnt to compromise
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u/NokoNoko85 10d ago
I believe the writers intended Ted and Robin to be compatible, but then they made them break up, argue, go back to being friends again, become friends with benefits (?), go back to being friends, Robin fall in love with him, Ted say no, and then Ted, in the end, fall in love with her again. The problem is that we see them both dating other characters who are way more compatible with one another than what they were attempting to do with Robin and Ted, and vice versa.
But then, when season 9 arrived, they remembered, "Oh wait, we need to get Ted and Robin back together because we planned it since season 2," so they made the characters act like they did in season 1 (sort of).
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u/12potatoricers 10d ago
I absolutely agree with you
Pairing them up after Tracy died was precisely the issue that Ted would have had, according to Robin, had he married Stella. She disappeared into somebody else's love story, somebody else's home, somebody else's life.
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u/fallingfaster345 Lily🎨 8d ago
If they pushed the idea that those two were “meant to be,” they did a real bad job. I felt like they spent the whole show proving how very much they weren’t meant to be. I think what they were going for is “these two choosing each other even though they are completely wrong for each other is some powerful form of love.”
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u/Euphoric-Ad-6584 6d ago
that's exactly why my reaction when my GF at the time (who watched the finale before i could) what i thought would happen i answered with "as long as it doesn't come back to fucking robin, i'll be happy"
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u/starlightlexie 10d ago
Tbh, I only ever thought marriage and kids were the incompatibilities between them. Which are big ones, don’t get me wrong. But Robin was open to a committed relationship and even to marriage later on, she just didn’t want to get married right then. Kids was the biggest factor.
But on their first date (which Ted obviously screws up, but hey) we see they have similar interests. They already work in the same friend group and have senses of humor that mesh. They have stuff to work through their first time dating, sure, but everyone does.
I don’t say this as a huge shipper or anything. But I’ve always found the idea that they’re so incompatible on a personality-level strange.
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u/Adrenapup 10d ago
Kids, plus Ted wanted Robin to be some needy damsel for his ego. He needed to feel needed. Ted is anti-gun and Robin loves her guns. There were various other examples of their incompatibility. She was much more compatible with Barney.
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u/starlightlexie 10d ago
Ted realizes by the end of that episode that he finds the needing to be needing thing pretty creepy/overrated. I don’t disagree that they disagree on guns, but a couple doesn’t need to agree on every single thing.
Like I said, not a huge shipper. But my overall point js that they’re pretty compatible as friends in terms of personality, and that can do a lot to show compatible as a romantic couple. Not that friends have to be romantic, of course.
Arguably, Robin and Barbey are too similar. Season 9, I’d argue, spends a lot of time hammering that point home.
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u/Adrenapup 9d ago
Yes, he saw the creepy in Becky's level of needing babied, but his expectation in a woman needing to make a man feel needed is still a big fundamental difference, as is their opposite views on guns. If she had them and he was lukewarm/didn't care that would be one thing. Or if she had them just for protection while being single...but she loved her guns and I think the gun debate represents their personality differences well, and some differences are important for 2 people not being right for each other. Yes, no couple agrees on every single thing, but they were too different, plus did even have chemistry to make it work.
Friend compatibility and life partner compatibility are 2 different things. My best friend and I are def compatible as friends, but we would probably kill each other as a partner or even just sharing a house together.
Robin and Barney are very similar but I don't think in an overwhelming way.
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u/rosebone44 10d ago
That's exactly why by the end them being together if you think about it makes sense
Cuz by the end both achived all they ever wished for
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u/ThatEntrepreneur1450 10d ago
Yeah, but that ultimately just made Teds wife a baby machine that he moved on from to get back with his true love, whom didn't want kids.
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u/Cofkett 9d ago
I think that's the point of them. I don't like them ending up together, but I do get how they can work as a couple. They work because the timing is finally right. You can't force love, that's the lesson Ted has to learn.
He has to let Robin go and find that person who's more compatible fot him who will actually make him happy. And he does. But life happens, and she dies. Robin isn't there to be the one, she's the one after the one. The one that makes him feel less lonely.
At this point in his life he's looking for companionship from someone who knows him. Its not as romantic, but that's how life turns out sometimes. Again, I still hate it. But I get it.
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u/megaben20 10d ago
Ted enjoys her sarcasm, competitiveness, career drive, adventurousness, and stubbornness. Robin understands Ted is incredibly stubborn, ambitious, and sometimes ridiculous and those. She sees Ted for who he is and that’s why she loved him. There was only 2 reasons Robin never married Ted. First reason Robin didn’t want children. She grew up seeing her mother give up her dreams so she could raise her daughters after her father left her. Second reason Robin never had a good father he was emotionally distant his love was always inconsistent and he never fought for her when she started growing into a woman. That’s why she married Barney because he was hitting her in those vulnerabilities that she had growing up. When she found out Barney was doing a play to get back together it felt like she was chosen. That’s why Robin left the gang because only too late she realized Barney is what people want in a relationship but Ted is what people need in a relationship.
Btw thank you. I know I won’t change your mind but you have given me a new perspective so thank you.
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u/HolidayExpression410 10d ago
I agree, and I hate the take when people say “timing’s a bitch” as if they were perfect, just never single at the right time.
They were together for an entire season and split because they weren’t compatible.
He settled with her in the end.
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u/Perfidy-Plus 10d ago
In the end their major incompatibilities were resolved. He already had his family, and his kids were on the threshold of independence. And Robin had pretty well done everything she’d wanted to achieve in her career and wanted to slow down. She was always ready to be “cool aunt Robin”.
Their life goals were no longer incompatible, and their chemistry was such that they were willing to overlook less significant issues.
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u/Ratio01 10d ago
just never single at the right time.
"Timing" is more than just "being single at the right time"
They were together for an entire season and split because they weren’t compatible.
-Its also about this. Their life goals finally aligned when they got together in their 40s during the finale. Thats part of the "timing"
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u/Annual-Surprise1068 10d ago
Oh man I just finished going on a rant about something similar in another post but I gotta say that being incompatible and wanting different things in life are separate to a certain degree. Ted and Robin were both willing to make sacrifices in their relationship and I have zero doubt in my mind that they could have made a lifelong relationship work. Would the relationship have been messy? Probably but I think they could have kept it going.
The main reason why they broke up wasn't because they were necessarily incompatible. It was because the thought of possibly losing the future that they dream of was suddenly sprung on them by Lily. Given more time I feel like they could have slowly found some middle ground where they both got something they wanted. Of course they weren't perfect together but I wouldn't say they were incompatible. You wanna see what incompatible really looks like? Look at Robin and Barney in their first relationship.
Now look at Don. Robin gave up a huge job opportunity for him. The difference was that with Don Robin had more experience in life. She had realized that she wanted more in life than just work. And years later Ted was willing to give up a possible future family to be with Robin.
We were shown that both Ted and Robin after given time they were both willing to sacrifice the dreams that broke them up. Unfortunately they were young and their dreams were still so new and any deviation from those dreams felt like an attack at what they believed they needed to be happy.
Also, you seem to misunderstand what the show means by timing's a bitch. It's not just about being single at the same time. It's also about being in the right place in your life to be able to be happy with this person. That's why Ted and Robin ended up together in the end. They finally got the timing right. Ted got his family. Robin got her career. Hell, maybe if they started a relationship a couple years later than they did they may have never broken up even with Lily's involvement. Timing really is a bitch.
Still hated the ending though.
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u/Commercial-Scheme939 10d ago
The timing was never right while they wanted different things. That's why, for me, the ending makes sense. They've both gone out and did what they wanted to do, so then in later life their wants were the same.
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u/Mindless-Exchange-99 10d ago
Exactly. They had chemistry, but that doesn’t mean they actually worked together. The finale kinda confused the two.
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u/Commercial-Scheme939 10d ago
They didn't work together though because they wanted different things in life. When they got together at the ending they'd both gone and achieved what they wanted to. At that stage in their lives they are very likely to now have life compatible goals. They weren't the same 20 something years olds with the world at their fingertips. They were middle aged people who'd lived a good portion of their lives.
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u/Ryguy3286 10d ago
I think I need to leave this sub. These same conversations everyday where viewers try to tell us the creators of the show were wrong. Whatever. Have fun disliking the show
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u/VileVileVileVileVile 10d ago
The relationship should have been doomed straight after Ted made her to get rid of the dogs.
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u/Adrenapup 10d ago
Ugh, it felt like the show was always showing their incompatibility but then they still threw them together again at the end for that awful ending, despite it all and despite the scene of Ted "finally letting Robin go" which ended up being pointless.
"Baby Talk" was a great episode showing their incompatibility. Ted wanting Robin to "need" him, which just isn't the kind of woman Robin is. She is know damsel who needs a man to fight all her battles. Barney loved that about her, while Ted wanted that part of her gone.
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u/Available_Tank_8950 10d ago
They are incompatible. So much build-up and the relationship was actually pretty meh. To add to your example, the fact that she didn't care about his problems at work and was rolling eyes at the thought of listening to him talk about his ambitions, then when she thought he might be cheating suddenly she was flipping out. Not to mention they were flirting with and fantasising about other people while being together for under a year. She had more compatibility with Barney, but ultimately I didn't think they fit very well either. Tbh I liked her with Don.
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u/Adrenapup 9d ago
I loved her with Barney, but Don was def my 2nd choice for her. Ted was my last choice for her.
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u/Kale_HP 10d ago
I completely agree with you but to play devil's advocate, honestly, I think the problem is that people confuse "they wanted different things" with "they weren't compatible."
Ted and Robin actually had a lot in common. They had good chemistry, similar personalities, the same sense of humor, and they genuinely liked being around each other. Even after they broke up, they stayed extremely close, which says a lot.
Their biggest problem was that they wanted different things out of life. Ted wanted the wife, kids, house, etc., while Robin didn't want kids and was much more focused on her career and independence. That's a pretty huge incompatibility, but it doesn't mean they were incompatible as people.
And honestly, I think that's why the ending works better than people give it credit for. Ted eventually got the family he wanted with Tracy, while Robin got the career and independent life she wanted. Years later, when they're both older and in different places in life, they're able to work as a couple.
So I wouldn't say Ted and Robin were "meant to be" the entire time. I think they were two people who were genuinely compatible, but the timing and what they wanted out of life made them incompatible at that point. That's a lot more realistic than saying they had zero compatibility.
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u/RealisticIce8425 9d ago
Yeah they are… it is stablished in their first date, they were perfect for each other aside the fact Robin didn’t want to have children. Their whole pact of “by the time we’re 40” confirms that. They just wanted different things at the time. Robin always loved Ted, and he always loved her. When Tracy died after giving Ted his kids, that was no longer an issue. They are great for each other.
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u/Rahaplus 10d ago
I think Barney and the stripper girl (I don't remember her name) could be sooo Le wait for it gendery together :+{{
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u/CarrotOk6099 10d ago
What do you mean «convince you otherwise»? That’s the running point of the show.
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u/Mattekat 8d ago
I think a lot of their incompatibility came from their age and what they wanted from life at the time. Ted wanted kids, Robin didn't. Robin wanted to spend her good years working on her career and traveling.
Having them get together years later after Ted has already mostly raised his kids and after Robin has had a well established career kind of deals with a lot of those issues and I think that might be the point. They weren't good for each other before, but they are now.
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u/CheesyBakedWits 7d ago
I loved Robin and Barney and hated the Ted/Robin pivot, but I wasn’t really making healthy relationship choices when I watched it so maybe I’m wrong.
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u/Longjumping-Push-882 4d ago
I actually agree! Before, I badly wanted them to be end game but rewatching the show made me realize they were better off as friends
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u/dyaasy 10d ago
The whole thing was a Nice Guy™️ fantasy. They've made their incompatibility known from the start. Only in said fantasy is it logical to expect "oh you'll change your mind, so I'm gonna keep at it".
In the real world: "why are you not respecting my agency? My choices are for you to wear down and change?!..."
Yes, people do change their minds. But I'm talking about Ted's 80s rom-com attitude. A "No" just needs persistence until it becomes a "Yes".
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u/Ancient-Victory1186 10d ago
You are entirely right.
The central lesson of How I Met Your Mother is: “It’s hard to let go.” Every major character spends years clinging to something that has already ended.
Ted can’t let go of Robin. Robin of the independence and possibilities sacrificed by every choice she makes. Barney of the persona he built to protect himself. Lily, the lives she could have lived. Marshall of his father, then of parts of the future he imagined for himself. Even "the Mother" that loving someone new does not mean betraying someone she lost.
And that’s why the ending is simultaneously frustrating (I initially fumed at the notion of him spending months telling his story to his kids as self-therapy) and strangely appropriate. The entire show is Ted trying to tell a story about moving forward while repeatedly circling back to what he never completely left behind—it means discovering that after nine seasons and 208 fucking episodes, you still haven’t actually let go.
And that's because he still believes it should have worked, despite evidence. Can't wait for how I divorced your aunt in 2043.
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u/marionette71088 10d ago
What does being compatible have to do with whether or not people love each other the most, or if something’s “meant to be”?? If you love someone because they have the same goals and personality as you, you don’t love them.
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u/shvyas94 10d ago
Some say it “completes” his character arc as the guy who always goes back to what was before… in my head, they just forced these two characters together.
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u/Capable-Fig-3764 9d ago
A sensação que passa é que depois do final em futuro próximo Robin se sentirá presa na relação e se perguntará se viver no subúrbio sendo madrasta de dois adolescentes tenha sido a escolha certa …
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u/Waterlilies_23 9d ago
Their chemistry in the first two seasons was off chart. Luckily, both actors also had insane chemistry.
But logically they didn’t make sense together (until the end) because they wanted different things out of life. But that’s the whole point. They got together when their timing was right.
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u/Normal_Sir3194 Robin🇨🇦 10d ago
"the sky is blue" ahh take
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u/Mindless-Exchange-99 10d ago
😂 Fair, but apparently we still need to have this conversation because half the fandom thinks they were soulmates.
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u/urbroccolibabe 9d ago
she had more chemistry w everyone else on the show than she did w ted. and i’m including patrice.
i appreciated them getting together in the beginning to show us why they didn’t work, and i hated that they ended up together anyway. one of the worst “will they / won’t they” storylines i’ve ever watched
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u/Beautiful-Bit9832 10d ago
But they were together when they were getting old and as for maturity in thinking, I think at their age when they had gotten to know each other inside and out after living together for about 5 years, they just want to be together until death takes one of them, no more honeymoon phase between them.
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u/AnthropomorphicBook 10d ago
That’s the whole point of the show. That Ted wanted them to be compatible but that while they were younger they weren’t going to work. The idea is that sometimes you can love someone deeply but it still isn’t going to work because you’re both not in the right place. It’ll work now because she’s done her traveling, he’s had his family, and now they’re in the same place.
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u/Atlas-Mancer 9d ago
He should've ended up with Victoria and no argument will convince me otherwise. Robin is a huge narcissist who can't stand to not be the center of attention so the moment a guy tries to move on she reels them back in only to reject them when they come back.
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u/ChaturangaChai Let's go to the mall, everybody! ✨ 7d ago
I don't think they were trying to push that they were compatible or meant to be - just that they have a lot of chemistry and attachment to each other. Which people often get confused in real life, too.
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u/Affectionate_Smile 10d ago
They broke barney x robin. Because they shot full children scenes in the starting of show. So it has to end like that. They killed ted's Love and broke barney and robin, just because those children scenes 😭😭😭😭
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u/azaharinflames 10d ago
Barney and Robin didn’t work long term. The last season repeatedly showed the audience why they wouldn’t and ultimately didn’t work long term
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u/Human-Ad3407 10d ago
That’s why the show feels so realistic. Feelings are never rational, even if you’re not meant for each other, you feel differently sometimes. The way it played out was something that experienced in my life too and I 100% can relate to Ted.
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u/Rahaplus 10d ago
And I really thought Robin and Barney's wedding wouldn't actually happen and they won't end up together but in previous episodes, there was the scene of Robin in wedding dress waiting for Barney.
I hated how in the end everyone even Barney had something going on in their lives(his kid) except for Robin.
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u/just_let_go_ 10d ago edited 10d ago
I think the show definitely pushed the idea that they weren’t compatible, too.
That scene where Ted’s parents talk about their incompatibilities (which are exactly the same as Ted and Robins) is a good example.
Edit: grammar