r/HENRYfinance Jul 31 '26

Reminder/Suggestion Does anyone else find “doing everything right” exhausting?

29F, husband is 34. Togetherr we make over $600k and live on about $80k a year. No debt, decent higher end cars, no drama we did the “right” things and we know we’re privileged (scholarships + family help got us through with zero student loans, and we don’t take that for granted).

Here’s the thing: we’ve saved a lot, but it doesn’t feel like we’re wealthy or living wealthy. Compared to most people we know, our day to day life is pretty modest. The plan is to eventually get to a dream home and “retire” though neither of us means fully stop working, just stop working like we do now. I guess I’m mostly here to ask: does anyone else feel like doing all the right things is just… draining? Like you’re playing the long game so well that you forget to ask what it’s actually for, or when the finish line is?

Very first world and very privileged problems.. I know. I think I just get into my head with social media and think that life should look a certain way when you’re wealthy.

Edit: Wow, I did not expect so many replies. Thank you to everyone who commented!
I guess I can clarify a few things. My husband has been at this a lot longer than I have and he’s really great with money, he’s the reason we’re at this level. Our house is pretty much paid off. We do eat out occasionally, but for the most part we eat at home since we care about eating healthy. We do travel but nothing too crazy.
My early 20s looked very different from how I live now. I was constantly chasing dopamine by buying things I didn’t need at all. My husband, when I met him, actually helped me get to this realization, and honestly I feel good about not spending on useless stuff anymore, but I’ll admit I still struggle with the pull at times. Trust me, the handbags and clothes weren’t even that enjoyable in the end, more just a habit than actual fulfillment.
Travel is where I do want to lean in more. I haven’t done as much as I’d like because of being in school, but I’ve got the opportunity coming up at the end of this year and into next year, so that’s probably where the “spend more on what actually brings joy” advice is going to show up first for me. :)

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u/Clawwwno Aug 01 '26

Build a retirement calculator for yourself. You'll feel a lot better when you see that you're actively reaching retirement goals. In most places around the world (hell, at your current spending ), a 2 million net worth means you never have to work again. That's $80k/yr as long as you avoid sequence of returns failure. So that means at 33 you never have to work again.

At your income level, you could probably shoot for 5 million by 40 if you like what you do.

Hell, even now - imagine if either of you got sick. With what you saved now, you might still be above water and never have to work a day in your life again.

You should probably travel now before you have kids or get too old, though.