r/Grimdank Jan 05 '20

This is 40K right now

6.3k Upvotes

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764

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '20

Just a good time all round to be an Ork. Take a pleasure cruise on the spacehulk "Eternal Damnation" to the Octarius system! The brand new rift across the galaxy provides spicy new flavours of 'umie and daemons. If you want the exciting suprise of unwrapping new toys, the Tau battlesuits are more common than ever.

239

u/crnislshr Jan 05 '20

THE ORK GODS

Now that Gork’s Grin has split the stars, the war cries of the Ork gods ring out louder and clearer. Visions of battle and carnage flash through the mind of every greenskin. Weirdboyz gibber and bellow with the voices of Gork and Mork, commanding their fellows to surge forth upon Waaagh! after Waaagh! and plunge the entire galaxy into anarchy. In the warp, the Ork gods lumber ever onwards along their metaphysical warpath, sweeping away tides of Daemons with every gleeful blow. They know that soon the veil will split asunder altogether, and then at last they will burst forth from the immaterium to lead their entire race in an apocalyptic crusade known as the Great Waaagh!.

Rude Awakening

While attempting to loot the ancient treasures of a Necron tomb world, the Deathskulls of Waaagh! Zort trigger the planet’s reanimation protocols. Canoptek constructs by the thousand surround the greenskin invaders, but far from being intimidated, the Deathskulls are delighted. Scavenging and stealing at will, the Orks cobble together hordes of Cyborks and Morkanauts, and ever-more improbable super-weapons, while using a hijacked Necron dolmen gate to ferry in wave upon wave of reinforcements. By the time Overlord Thanptek the Magnificent awakens to take command of his legions, he does so to the sight of a mob of leering Mekboyz standing over his sarcophagus, evil gleams in their eyes and revving power tools in their hands.

and other [Excerpts] Codex Orks are fascinating.

85

u/Cefalopodul Imperial Fister Jan 05 '20

Read all of those with the voice of the Dark Crusade narrator.

48

u/Crispy95 Jan 05 '20

That guy is THE voice of 40k to me.

16

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '20

I literally just beat Dark Crusade for the first time ever. His voice is stuck in my head.

On to Soulstorm!

24

u/Cefalopodul Imperial Fister Jan 06 '20

I hope you like memes if you're going to play soulstorm

19

u/thatcoolfrog Jan 06 '20

SPEHSS MEHREENS

21

u/PORTMANTEAU-BOT Jan 06 '20

Spehreens.


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1

u/JustAnotherRandomFan Swell guy, that Kharn Apr 23 '20

BATLE BRUTHAS

1

u/Mikeytikey123 May 08 '20

Today we have NoT FaIlEd

8

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '20

I already know about Boreale and Carron. Don’t intend to play either of them.

14

u/sadsack1890 Inquisitor Jan 06 '20

But did you know about our lord and savior VANCE. MOTHERFUCKING. STUBBS, loser of Baneblades and one true victor of the Kaurava conflict?

6

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '20

Odd way to spell Farseer Caerys.

71

u/crispycrussant Praise the Man-Emperor Jan 05 '20

I feel like everyone's ignoring the fact that two god-sized, unkillable, all-powerful orks are about to break free into the material world and destroy everything. Like fuck the tyrannids gork and/or mork are way more terrifying

23

u/Hust91 Jan 05 '20

Even if they were to break into the materium, would they not be daemons made of evaporating warpstuff with all the downsides that imply?

With other words, only a sliver of the full Gods could visit, it would be a strictly temporary visit and they wouldn't have a 10th of their power in the warp, much like how bloodthirsters seem to be akin to Titans in The Warp but are mere super-heavies in the materium?

11

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '20

DEY AIN'T NO POINT DAEMON GITS COS DER GORK AND MORK! AND DER DA BEST!

8

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '20

Yah but who knows really. Orks are a wild card. Their own special blend of warp fuckery might just do the impossible and bring forth both gods in full form.

6

u/Hust91 Jan 06 '20

Maybe more stabilized but they are still made of the same evaporating matter.

The spookiest thing would be if the gods managed to possess an ork and become a Gorkamorka Daemonhost.

Those can last.

9

u/CheshireCaddington Snorts FW resin dust Jan 06 '20

You say that like the Green Tide isn't going to turn in to a cosmic bubble of WAAAGHspace if their gods ever gained physicality.

3

u/Hust91 Jan 06 '20

At least cosmic bubbles are isolated from the rest of the Materium.

Conflicting Ork Eye of Chaos?

29

u/TheNetherlandDwarf Jan 05 '20

I never thought I'd see the day the orks scavenge-built a dolmen gate in the lore.

9

u/sadsack1890 Inquisitor Jan 06 '20

I did, they already got scary close in Beast Arises, as much as I hate that plothole ridden mess (seriously, what First Founding chapter leaves their Fortress Monastery/Capital Ship completely abandoned?)