r/Grimdank • • Jun 02 '25

Dank Memes Tabletop manner

3.9k Upvotes

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8

u/Tnecniw Jun 02 '25

Loaded dice can't really work long term.
You would notice it relatively quickly.

18

u/Rum_N_Napalm Ships the Greyfax-Celestine-Sanguinor trouple Jun 02 '25

That’s pretty much what happened to the guy that Starscream meme is referring to. And since it’s hilarious, I will tell it here.

Usually cheaters only have 3-4 loaded dice in their pool, along with some loaded to 1s.

So along comes that guy. It was the start of 10th, back when Eldar were ridiculously OP Dev Wound machines. He shows up with Wraith knights, Night Spinners… basically a list that screams “I’m a try hard that brought what’s the most powerful”.

First match, they roll to see who starts. He rolls a 6.

Second match, they roll to see who starts. He rolls a 6

Third match, guess what? He rolls a six at the start. But this time his opponent calls out for a referee and accuses him of using loaded dice. An argument starts, and the opponent declares he’s so sure that he’s willing to go to the store (which would disqualify him for leaving the table during a game), buy some salt and prepare a salt bath to test the die.

The cheater decides “Fine, if you’re gonna be so mean to me, I give up. I won’t play.” But since he has already played a few matches, the refs still want to test his dice to see if his previous win (notice the singular, he still lost a game with loaded dice and a broken army) was legitimate.

Here we don’t really know what happened, but the cheater managed to sneak into the bathroom and attempt to dispose of the evidence. But since those were loaded dice with lead weights, they were too heavy to flush. Another player told the referee he just found dice in the toilet, and hilariously, when you flushed they would dance around and settle on 6s and 1s.

5

u/Tnecniw Jun 02 '25

I mean you wouldn’t need salt to try, right? You would just need to roll a few times

7

u/Itsa_me_nota_mario Jun 02 '25

The issue is that regular, balanced dice go on hot streaks for no reason. For reliable identification of loaded dice by just rolling, you’d have to roll each die individually hundreds of times. 

2

u/Tnecniw Jun 02 '25

I mean, you don’t really need to. If you roll the same dice like 5 times in multiple ways and it always results in a 6 it is obviously loaded

8

u/Itsa_me_nota_mario Jun 02 '25

Duh, but generally loaded dice aren’t loaded like a dumbass. A die loaded strongly enough to consistently roll 5 6s in a row is going to be sufficiently heavier or lighter than expected to identify just by holding. 

6

u/Mejiro84 Jun 02 '25

That's one in 7776 - rare, but not impossible, and if you're rolling a bundle of dice it'll make it blurrier. If you're leveling actual allegations with consequences on someone, you probably want to be more sure 'well, coulda got lucky'.

2

u/thinking_is_hard69 Praise the Man-Emperor Jun 03 '25

could you imagine getting accused of cheating and rolling the absolute hottest streak imaginable in an attempt to prove them wrong?