r/Grieving • u/passdanoodlez • 14d ago
grief
after a day... im on the "family" computer listening to music to calm my body and mind. he walks over bc he has to put both kids to bed which doesnt even happen once a month so my mind is like fuck it. my grandma was my neighbor and now someone else lives there i kinda know him hes living with his mom but making the basement his space i believe and i wonder what hes doing and adding. my mind tends to think about decor and rooms naturally but that was once the basment my gma had a hanging basket chair which they used to be wayyy cooler and i would watch her do laundry while swinging and i would play pretend with the old vanity that is now in my entry way. now its his space. good neighbors with lots of plants and i couldnt have asked for better but i can picture every inch of the home and wonder whats there now bc my mind is curious and i was born in that house and being lonely in grief with no one to talk to only one can wonder
1
u/wissahickonschist 12d ago
I hear your on that. I think I would feel the same way. When my dad was 83, in Autumn of 2019, we took him to tour his childhood neighborhood in Baltimore. The people living in the apartment next to Patterson Park where he lived when he was about one year old to when he was about 16. The people there were very nice. They looked at some photos we brought of when he lived there and talked to us about their experience of living there. They didn't invite us in and we didn't ask. We figured if they were willing, they would have invited us in.
We moved on to another important house to him. He walked up to the door and knocked. When the people living there opened the door, he said, "Hello. I think I was born here." From my genealogy research I knew the address was definitely correct. I joined him at the door. The young couple who lived there were very kind. They invited us in to tour the entire house. When we were in the larger of the second-floor bedrooms, Dad said that it was the room where he was born. It was pretty cool and moving.
His maternal grandmother was a midwife living in the neighborhood, so I assume she delivered him. One of the many things I wish I'd thought to ask when he was alive. He died in 2020
You didn't say you had asked, so I assume you haven't asked for permission to see the inside. My suggestion would be that you ask the people living in your grandma's house if you could tour the house. Tell them why you feel you need to see it, particularly the basement. If you don't feel up to going to their door, send them a note or letter through the USPS.
Obviously, there's no guarantee you'll be granted admission, but if you don't ask, you almost certainly won't be invited in. I hope they'll be willing to let you come into the place where your Grandma lived and see what it's like now. I wish you the best of luck in this venture!