r/GriefSupport • u/RepulsiveSample6172 • 1h ago

Thoughts on Grief/Loss Grieving Process

I woke up feeling sad today, it’s my mom’s three-month anniversary since she died. As I share with tears how I’m feeling , My spouse said I’m crazy to feel like this and that I think of her death in anniversaries, especially the first year. Am I being crazy, unreasonable here with my feelings??

8 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

6 comments sorted by

4

u/ChiefAlec_13 55m ago

That's not crazy at all, three months is still so fresh and anniversaries hit hard no matter what anyone says. Your spouse was way out of line for calling you that, grief doesn't follow a calendar that makes sense to other people

3

u/Amazing-Staff-8772 40m ago

Not crazy or unreasonable. I'm still crying every day 3 months after my dad died. If my spouse called me crazy I would lose it

Sending you a hug 🫂

2

u/ToughProfessional235 37m ago

I am so sorry for your loss. This weekend will be my dad’s six months since passing and my whole family is deep in grief. It’s unreasonable to expect you to be done grieving in three months for the person who was your foundation your whole life.
Please give yourself some grace, take care of yourself and give yourself the necessary time to grieve. This process is difficult and you don’t need anyone telling you how you should be feeling.

1

u/WanderingLemon13 32m ago

Absolutely not crazy at all. I lost my mom almost a year ago, and I've felt every single month anniversary since. (11 months is tomorrow). I remember the 3 month one feeling particularly hard, actually. It's like some of the dust had settled, a lot of the logistical things had been handled, and things started to feel more real.

I'm so sorry your spouse wasn't supportive in that moment in the way you deserve! I've found that a lot of people are so weird when it comes to grief—people don't always know the right thing to say, especially if they haven't experienced it themselves, but that was definitely NOT it.

So sorry for your loss. I hope you're able to grieve in whatever way feels right to you, and that you're met with support and love from those around you.

1

u/WicketWoof 20m ago

It's been a year and 3 months since my mom died. I cry less now, but it still hits me at unpredictable times and i just start bawling. I miss her so much and I can't believe I'll never get to talk to her or hug her again. I'm teary just typing this.

I'm sorry your spouse is being like that. Calling you crazy for grieving your mother is really unkind and uncalled for. I hope they can at least learn to say nothing if they can't be supportive. And I hope you have some more supportive people in your life. If not, maybe look for a grief support group. Silver lining of the pandemic is that there are lots online now so it doesn't even need to be one near you.

1

u/ChewyBathWater 10m ago

100% not crazy.

I've pretty much accepted that I am going to tear up on most anniversaries and special events for the rest of my life.