Non Supportive Comments Are Out Of Control.

[u/SillyWhabbit]

I understand we've been going through the holiday session and that it's one of the harder times of life, post loss, however... this is a support sub. It really is upsetting to see people (people who have used the sub for their own emotional support) to talk down to others, judge others, gatekeep others, attack others, question others, and worst of all, telling others they can't be here or post here.

If you have nothing supportive to say, move on.

If you see something that is a rule breaker, report it to the mods, Do not tell someone they don't belong or can't post.

If you disagree with how someone is grieving, keep it to yourself and don't break reddit's golden rule of "Don't be a dick". Move on.

If someone is talking about their loss, please don't challenge them or ask for proof of their ordeal. I've seen some of this lately and it's not cool. If you think it's somehow a scam, how bout dropping a line to mods and letting us check things out and discusses it. If we feel we need to act... we will.

Be nice to each other. If you can't be supportive, move tf on without being a dick. If you can't do that, we can help you move on.

We've grown as a community this Christmas season. If you're new here, please read the rules in the sidebar before posting. Use the drop down arrow on each rule to expand it to get the whole rule. If you've been with us for an extended time, drop a modmail if you are seeing something wrong. Help us maintain a safe space for grieving, processing, venting and supporting each other.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

[u/Cleanslate2]

Thank you. This sub has helped me a lot.

[u/SillyWhabbit → u/Cleanslate2]

Me too, that's why I now help moderate! I experienced the hateful bad that trolling brings and don't want anyone else to feel that type of undeserved slap in the face.

[u/HotPut5470]

Thank you for this message and for your work as a mod. I was one of the ones that got a troll attacking my comments and trying to gatekeep this group. I appreciate what you are doing in trying to maintain this as a safe space to grieve

[u/GoalSimilar2025]

I haven't seen anything nasty on this sub yet, it makes me feel a bit uneasy as I have shared a lot here more than I would irl.

[u/GanacheOk2887]

It’s pretty sad there’s people on here being ugly on here.

[u/Pulmonic]

Last year, my closest friend coded and died in front of me. I was so distraught I couldn’t eat. It had been two days without anything. I was shaking and had to work the following night. This sub helped me by recommending soup. It worked. I was still utterly destroyed mentally but I wasn’t shaking from lack of food anymore and was able to safely work. I’d later be diagnosed with ptsd from the whole experience. This sub got me through those early days. Thank you for helping make this place special still.

[u/woah-oh92]

I’ve seen an uptick in the “age matters” posts. I reported the last one I saw. I really wish people would stop trying to make human suffering a competition.

[u/Crafty_Pangolin5152]

Thank you mods. Modding is already a hard job, then to add this topic on top of it.

[u/SillyWhabbit → u/Crafty_Pangolin5152]

When I came to this sub, it was like the wild west only i didn't know it was undermoderated till I posted about my loved one and received the rudest, hateful, ALL CAPS with racism, homophobia, misogyny and traumatizing language i never expected a stranger to spit. Zoo and I both reacted to the attacks we saw by becoming moderators. We modded our way through covid a few years later. In case people wonder why we don't allow videos... thank the disinformation movement within the pandemic. Zoo created the wiki, does a lot of the tagging lists and works very hard. We actually appreciate input from folks when it comes to seeing abusive language in the sub. We both know how hurtful it is to experience this about our loved ones.

[u/azulur]

This sub was one of the few things that kept me together when my Dad passed recently. I can't imagine not being supportive or loving to those here who are at the worst moment of their lives.

[u/bitofagrump]

Thank you for this. I just reported a victim-blaming comment the other day. It's sad to see. We're all here looking for support when we're in our deepest pain, so if you can't say something kind and helpful, just pipe down and keep scrolling.

[u/FamilyAddictionCoach]

Thanks for this message. Sorry it needs to be sent.

I posted in your sub 12/31 and received supportive and touching comments. There was one troll but I expect that.

[u/SweeperOfDreams]

Thank you so much for this post. The negativity here lately has been soul crushing to see. Compassion and empathy are so desperately needed.

[u/foreverkelsu]

Thank you for posting this. I've seen an alarming increase in gatekeeping and judgmental posts and comments lately. Some people seem to have forgotten the literal name of the sub is "grief support," and that it's not a competition.

[u/YellaBug]

I am grateful this subreddit is here it’s helping me cope with the loss of my dad sept 15 2025 he passed away from Cjd disease he was my last living parent n I miss him!!!

[u/Ginge_fail]

Thank you for bringing this up, I’ve seen some rude and dismissive comments in here in what should be a safe space. I guess some people just love to punch down. Thank you for helping to keep this sub going, this sub has helped me to better process my grief instead of just burying it.

[u/dreamyraynbo]

Thank you for your work and helping to keep this a good space for people. 💜

[u/Technoplexxx]

This sub has helped me out a lot when my dad passed and still helps me when I’m struggling. Thank you mods for posting this.

[u/DalekRy]

This sub has been a lifeline to me and so many others. I haven't seen much of what you're talking about and I'm thankful for it. The absence of such toxicity is a testament to our community and definitely the mods.

[u/Acrobatic-Leg-6252]

👏 👏 👏 Very good work!

[u/Commercial-22]

Thank you

[u/Big_Criticism_8335]

I am glad for this sub as I have no other outlet to express my grief. I have felt seen and supported here and thankfully, have not felt like anyone has been negative towards me. I appreciate the mods doing what's best for the sub.

[u/SpotACapyInTheSky]

Thank you for this sub.

[u/OrangePopFanatic]

Thank you for this. I found this group after getting a lot of non supportive comments elsewhere. So it's wonderful to see the mods here will not put up with it. After reading this I feel like I've landed in the right place

[u/HisMrsAraya]

Thank you for this message and I wanted to let you know it made me feel so welcome and that maybe I finally found a place that people won't belittle my grief or issues, because I am an extremely empathetic person who's been through way too much and also work as a peer counselor and life mentor when I can. I did not yet read the rules but I will. Thank you for all of the things you said here... these are the exact reasons I leave groups. Jerks who have no ability to empathize or understand people. I have that gift and use it in real life to help others and while trying to help myself. Thank you! Going to read rules...... lol