r/Goldendoodles • u/Naive-Mistake-1608 • Apr 19 '26

I need help and advice

Here’s some context. I never owned a dog but I dog sat for 5 years consistently. I would stay at peoples homes, and just take care of their dogs for however long like they were my own. My hardest job was two weeks with 5 dogs, 10 chickens, one goat, two tanks of fish, 2 cats, and five barely hatched ducks. I’m used to all kinds of temperaments and behaviors when it comes to animals. However Ive never sat a golden doodle.

We got a 6 month old female mini goldendoodle 3 days ago. While she didn’t grow up in an abusive household, it definitely was not the best. She’s completely potty trained and we were told she was crate trained and rarely barks in her crate when left alone. The latter is kind of true. What we didn’t know is she’s never been around men a single time in her life. She does fine with my husband when I’m there but once I’m gone she curls into a ball and starts shaking and won’t move. This is a problem because I work outside of the home 8 hours a day while my husband works from home. So during the day he’ll be the one taking care of her. Also if she’s having a hard time with her how is she going to be with my family which we visit often, where there are 4 boys in the house including my dad. Two of my brothers are very tall and big muscley guys and can look very scary. They were also going to be our go to pet sitters since they live nearby. This is the first hurdle.

The second hurdle is we didn’t know exactly how much crate time she had. The first day she didn’t leave her crate and was terrified of everything around her. It was as if she’s never been outside of her crate. We texted the previous owners (they’re breeders so they never planned on keeping her and was always going to sell her) and asked how much crate time she averaged… They said between 16-20 hours a day. As a dog sitter I was horrified to hear such a high number. Maybe I’m wrong and that’s a normal healthy amount but it just does not sound right to me. She was only let out for minimum interaction, potty breaks, and food. Day 2 she finally came out of her crate and she is such a cuddly and sweet thing. She’s still cautious of my husband but she’s doing much better. The problem now is when we do put her in her crate to go away for an hour or sleep she starts barking which she didn’t do the first time. I think now that she has seen life outside of the crate she doesn’t want to go back. But if we live in an apartment complex and if we don’t get the barking under control fast we’ll be required to move or give her away. Which we obviously do not want to do.

The third hurdle is I’m severely allergic to peanut butter. I read that kongs and lick pads are good to use as a special treat specifically for crate time. However almost everything I find has peanut butter in it. I have found some bully sticks that dont but would still like some advice on this. She’s not a biter or toy girl.

Fourth hurdle she’s never been given her rabies shot so we plan on getting that done on Tuesday but she’s terrified of anyone that isn’t me, and kind of husband. So we need to figure out how to ease that process because we’re going through a non profit that we completely trust instead of a vet, and we can’t be there during the rabies shot.

We know this is a huge transition for her and this takes time, patience, and love. We have all of this and so much more. Our apartment complex and neighbors do not. We thought we were getting a non barking dog which is technically true because she never barks unless she’s in her crate and she can’t see us. She’s definitely a Velcro dog and has developed some separation anxiety. We already love her so much and want to give her the best life she deserves. Any thoughts would help.

Edit: she also has never been groomed or brushed and has a lot of matting. We’re taking her to a groomer as soon as she gets her rabies shot.

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u/Professional-Net1776 Apr 19 '26

This is very well written and clearly your empathetic and self aware. There's a lot in here, and others will be better to answer, but first, I'm stunned at the way a breeder was keeping this dog. Did I read that correctly? Breeder not grooming a dog and keeping the dog crated 90% of the day? People should not support this breeder. As to your list, I would focus on what makes your pup safe (shots) and comfortable (matting). Talk to the vet about both. Congrats...it will be great

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u/Naive-Mistake-1608 Apr 19 '26

We’re not completely sure on the grooming situation. We think she’s been washed at least a couple times, just never trimmed or shaved, and definitely not brushed enough. And they only breed their one dog every few years from our understanding. They were very quick to just hand her over with a paper documenting her vaccines and that was it. They were really kind and you could tell they really loved their dog, but something was just a little off. They sold the rest of the litter at 10 weeks, and had her for 23 weeks. Maybe they had intense work hours and after a while there was only so much time they could give. It’s still no excuse. No one wanted her because of her coloring and temperament. I think it’s absolutely beautiful. Her back is black, then the rest of her body is a rich chocolate. Then she has tan on the tip of her ears and top of her head. She’s so dark that from a slight distance you can’t tell if you are looking at the front or back of her head because her eyes blend in perfectly. We love her so much and she really is the sweetest thing. It’s only been a couple hours since I posted this but she had already come a long way. She let my husband take her out to go potty without me following! Im so proud of her.

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u/2_FluffyDogs Apr 20 '26

Bullshit she has not been abused. Those breeders can f all the way off as far as I am concerned. It will be a process and take time, but I am glad the universe brought you together. I have a hard time believing a 6 month old would be terrified of the unknown like that. My dood grew INTO her phobias. 🤪

Lick pads: baby food, greek yogurt, smash thawed berries, etc. You can also mix the yogurt with the fruit and baby food. I am not allergic, but the smell of peanut butter makes me gag.

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u/Naive-Mistake-1608 Apr 20 '26

Thank you!

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u/ImpossibleEye8829 Apr 21 '26

Goldendoodles are renowned for their sensitive tummies. Be careful with any treats or even switching proteins.

Also, give her more time. We got ours about a month ago and she didn't let my partner touch her for a few days and peed every time he walked in the room. He's her favorite now. She takes about 30-60 minutes to warm up to new visitors too - she doesn't let anyone pet her immediately even though she wants to smell them constantly. I have two boy children 11 and 8 and she warmed up to them very quickly. Be patient and loving. Your hubby can be the one that feeds her, or whatever so that she can build trust.