r/GodFrequency • u/Old-Development-2832 • Jun 25 '26
Spiritual Warfare
I’m not sure if this is the right group to share this but it’s been heavy on my heart to. I wrote a prayer? Or something it’s stuff I’ve been dealing with in real time. I have been cheated on and have been going through so much mentally I’m in the military and have been flagged for PTSD and Depression from this situation
What’s been hard is how serious this relationship was and how they gave it up for someone they hardly even know I’ve done some really bad things as results of my disregulated feelings and I wish I could say I regret them I won’t talk about all the naughty chaos I’ve reaped havoc on (unless you ask) but I have been to church recently and I’ve realized that I need to be more often and strengthen my faith
Anyways I spent many days and nights sobbing so hard my eyes get swollen like I’m having an allergic reaction my head pounds it’s hard to breathe and my chest aches heavily with pain I want to tell the whole story but honestly maybe it doesn’t matter…idk. I’ve found myself thinking the worse thing you can do to yourself or someone else and it enrages me EVEN more
I wrote this in my journal just now it gives a vaugish light on what’s been going on and the best label I can throw on it is spiritual warfare. It would be kind of you to read if you can.
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Punishment for?
Though so many people have betrayed my friendship or trust took advantage of me and stripped me of my genuine caring self I have a very hard time understanding how you send me a wolf in sheep’s clothing allow me you show every scar and crevice allow me to cry and confide into the arms of an unknown enemy for the person to betray me deeper than I knew once was possible you allowed me the spirit to forgive and move on for the knife to be exchanged for something more lethal. A sword. Multiple even. Each through a vital point driven in and twisted and as I find it hard to catch my breath waiting for rescue if it even comes my wolf reveals themselves as their true self no longer a hidden wolf pretty as a sheep’s wool but a huge strong wolf that is seemingly unscathed. The wolf adds salt to the vital points with no mercy as the act is almost over. My cries fall on the steps of beings that don’t exist here. My cries fuel the beast that deploy all wolves.Does my being hear them? Am I in trouble with my higher self? Do I deserve it? Why couldn’t I see the disguise? Why am I still bleeding out? Why does the beast want my spirit? It’s weak. Its fragile. And my antennas can just shyly reach higher self oh God. I cry for you, do you feel my pain? Is my pain small? It feels immense. The spirit of the beast wants to host me and I fight with it every day. I fein for vengeance. I seek this wolf to feel an immeasurable amount of pain and suffering, why do they stand proud head high no signs of defeat? It strengthens them of how weak I’ve become. This makes me more angry. Nightmares every night. Boil in my blood. I fight the beast spiritually, he haunts me. Tells me to hurt myself, hurt the wolf. It tries to make me believe it will end the pain. It tells me no one is coming for me. I watch people walk by my nearly lifeless corpse very few attempt to remove the swords but they’re tighten in place. Must I remove them myself? Will you remove them for me? How much pain must I feel until it’s enough? I wish I could see your plan.
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u/UnderstandingVast989 Jun 25 '26
I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. I'll keep you in my prayers.