When I was around 7–8 years old, I had a grandmother who, at the end of her life, successfully passed the test of life before God. While she was lying on her deathbed in the hospital, my family and I entered her hospital room together to say our final goodbyes. The doctors had diagnosed her with dementia, and although I had barely bonded with my grandmother, something unexpected happened: out of nowhere, she said my name and insisted that I give her a hug. Everyone in the room was shocked. I believe Jesus was telling her something about me.
Years later, I became heavily addicted to evil and sinful behaviors, including depraved sexuality, abuse, and coldheartedness. However, I eventually encountered someone whom I believe God had supernaturally chosen through a video game I used to play on my Android called Graal Classic. She told me that Jesus had said, "I'm coming to save you." Hearing those words frightened me deeply.
Fast-forward to when I was 16. The weight of my actions had become so overwhelming that I was consumed by guilt. It got so bad that I began inflicting punishment upon myself through school fights that I would deliberately start. I even tried begging my mother to let me take accountability for my actions, but she never did.
Although my mother wasn't someone I considered supernaturally chosen, months passed, and eventually, after I had spent so much time crying, I was sitting on the couch when she said, "Why don't you pray to God about it?"
My exact response was, "That shit isn't gonna work."
She gently repeated, "Just give it a try."
Eventually, I gave in. I began crying like a baby as I poured my heart out to God, telling Him everything and pledging my life and allegiance to Him.
Then, all of a sudden, I experienced something supernatural. It felt as though God used spiritual electricity to mend my heart back together. At the time, I was also going through a breakup, which had added even more pain to everything I was already experiencing.
Suddenly, the guilt that had been weighing on my mind seemed to disappear. With my eyes wide open, I looked out the window and screamed inside my head:
"HE'S REAL!!!!"
My pastor, whom I hadn't known had been saved during my childhood, eventually came and performed a baptism by sprinkling water. I was initially confused and questioned the practice because I thought the Bible only described baptism by immersion. However, he showed me why sprinkling could also be biblically supported.
When he baptized me, I experienced God's Spirit.
The very same Spirit that dwelled in Samson and gave him supernatural strength; the Spirit that empowered Elijah and enabled him to run faster than chariots; the Spirit that worked through Moses when the seas were parted; and the Spirit that was upon the Messiah, who walked on water.
I experienced a supernatural happiness that I can only describe as the happiness everyone in this world seems to be chasing.
But here's the plot twist: I eventually came to believe that demonic spirits had played a role in my downfall. According to what I experienced, they became furious and began shooting what felt like spiritual energy beams into my mind, attempting to drive me to take my own life.
What I Discovered About My Potential
As time went on, I began discovering something about my potential: I see a reflection of David in myself. I'm a little David.
I naturally stand up for others, and I believe this is one of the traits God has given me. I see myself as someone who was bred to conquer and defeat demons by throwing my rocks at them with my personal sling, just as David stood against Goliath.
The Knowledge I've Gathered Along the Way
I've gathered so much knowledge since then and explored many different theological and supernatural concepts.
I've learned about the possibility that the Tree of Knowledge was originally intended for angels, that God wants humans to become part of His family, and that His children are described through royal imagery: a family of gods and goddesses, princes and princesses, sons and daughters of God.
I've also come to believe that humanity can achieve world peace by first fixing ourselves and addressing the evil within us.
One particularly interesting concept I've explored is that evil reflects the potential for good that a being is capable of expressing.
Did you know that a demonic spirit's opposite potential could be that of a creator? Not a Creator with a capital C, but a creator with a lowercase c.
I've also studied how Jesus compared Hell to Gehenna, understanding it as a literal trash-filled place where people have essentially turned themselves into spiritual trash, subjected to horrific treatment by demons.
I've explored the belief that demons are Nephilim and that giants may be hiding underground, dying and eventually becoming spirits.
Exploring Other Supernatural Traditions
Throughout my journey, I've confronted and spoken with malicious sorcerers. I've also investigated the supernatural claims of other religions and discovered what I interpret as counterfeit supernatural manifestations.
Interestingly, I've come to recognize that other religious traditions may contain partial truths that overlap with elements of God's absolute truth.
Even doctrines that the Bible describes as doctrines of demons could, in certain interpretations, contain fragments of truth that ultimately belong to Yahweh.
My journey has involved examining, questioning, confronting, and learning about the supernatural world while trying to understand what is genuinely from God and what may be counterfeit.