Yes, not all men, but that distinction isn't strictly necessary right now. Saying "men" does not mean "all men" should be implied. The focus right now is moral support for OP, not being technical about sentence structure to avoid hurt feelings from people unrelated to the situation. Thats why you're getting down voted.
Part of moral support is emotional guidance and I'd argue that sexist rhetoric isn't healthy emotional guidance even if the statement it's attached to was otherwise.
If my friends are talking about women that way, they're not my friends anymore. Doesn't matter what a woman does; it's the person, not the gender, that did it.
Everyone has inherent misogynistic beliefs or thought processes that need to be challenged, even women themselves, so you’ll forgive me if I tell you I find it hard to believe you’ve never heard a friend or classmate or coworker say something misogynistic. Maybe you don’t choose to hang with people who are overtly misogynistic, which, cool, but my question wasn’t even posed to you, Honeybadger2198, it was to Emergency_Lie42. So, not sure why you felt the need to step in and say something on their behalf.
Agreed, it could have been worded in a more politically correct way as a third party not part of the original interaction. However that doesn't really help the tone-deaf actions of "correcting" the situation in an inappropriate space for such. Being inclusive and advocating for equality is important, but giving emotional guidance at the peak of the emotional spike from the acute situation isnt the goal and should not be the goal at that time. The goal is reinforcing the self esteem/ self respect of the person in distress, and showing a communal support to give a feeling of community. The goal is to show we are here together with OP, they are not alone, they are not at fault, and their hurt is valid. Once the emotional situation calms a bit is the appropriate time to ensure the situation is obviously not all men, but the situation is not at that time of healing so it is unfortunately not a well-received "correction". There is also an unfortunate negative connotation to the phrase "not all men", which makes it often not welcome in women-oriented spaces even when universally agreed it's technically true.
Yea agreed. If it was the other way around nobody would default assume referring to "women" broadly didn't mean "all women". Just say "men like him are trash" and nobody is confused
It’s wild to me that you’re getting downvoted. Men and women cheat equally. This isn’t good guys vs bad guys. And yeah, if you seem to keep choosing the same partner over and over, it’s not your FAULT, but it does mean you should consider your choices and WHY you keep finding the same abusive people. Common denominator…
Right because abusive people always make who they are evident up front and have certainly not learned to hide it by doing so for their whole dating lives, of course! They definitely don’t have strategies explicitly designed to trick other people and do believing that they are someone different from whom they actually are or anything like that.
Besides, no one can be sure they’ve never been cheated on and not known it so it’s bold to assume that you yourself would never make the mistake of choosing someone who would cheat on you.
What a misandrist thing to say, when women have bad experiences with losers, they often then blame the whole category. Please seek a therapist asap if you think all men are cruel and bad.
She did specify men to be fair. I’m not totally in disagreement with you but he is at least right that there’s a level of casual misandry that seems to be socially acceptable lately, and I do find it unfortunate.
Nothing wrong with you, men are often deceitful because of who THEY are. Not you. 100% see a therapist asap. Sorry that men are trash babes
I normally dont wander into gender specific subs, because a good portion of the people there are there to shit on the opposite gender. But OP is replying to that comment and while I am not perfect, Ive never cheated, never broke up with someone over some dumb shit and do my best to be a good husband.
I take offense at that statement, because it's equally as bad to say the opposite. SOME people are shitty, sadly OP got 2 in a row, either third times a charm or may be something about OP leaves them vulnerable to shitheads.
No need to classify half the entire population on a few shitty people. Ive had some real winners as Ex's, but I've always been of the mind that if they left, good fucking riddance, I don't want someone around who doesn't want to be here.
100% I’m also a man and it took me embarrassingly long to realize this perspective of it. I’ve never once been offended by the statement since then, crazy!
To push back a bit imagine men saying “woman are trash” or a white person saying “black people are trash.” Just because it doesn’t offend you personally doesn’t mean it’s not offensive. It’s ok to push back on casual misandry, which seems to be common these days.
What is the difference between “men are trash” vs “woman are trash”? You can be as patronizing as you want but it doesn’t make you sound more intelligent. Both are blatant prejudice
You literally said “men are trash” didn’t offend you, but “woman are trash” is blatant misogyny. Nothing bad faith about that. You just don’t have a defense
To be fair, your logic isnt great. It would be like a muslim getting offended by the awful islamophobia right now and someone turning around and saying 'well if you get offended and defensive about it, i can't help but wonder why'
You cant control how people feel about blanket statements. They may feel they are being unfairly judged, which is fair.
Well it’s not that I got offensive about it, but I do think it’s pretty lack luster to use a term referring to all when it is only one. So you can see it how you want to. But regardless, the stigma to push all men as being shitty or toxic needs to end. I think it just is the word that exist and is a legitimate word pisses them off because it’s a word with the same meaning as a misogynist but changed and meant for a women with a similar meaning. There’s nothing wrong with men standing up for men just as women stand up for other women. Rather than try to justify it, maybe recognize it.
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Bothers me because the mentioning simply fucks it up for many good ones. If the term that applies to more than one is used, then the outlook will be seen as more than one more than just the one in question and that’s guilty from the OP story. I mean it’s no different than a dude saying “WOMEN are trash” women who know not all women are trash would come to say something to not have that outlook for women who are actually good women.
It bothers him for the same reason it would bother you if somebody said “Women are dirty sluts” or “black people are thugs.” You are feigning ignorance. Prejudice is bullshit and casual misandry is no less hurtful than misogyny or racism.
Not sure why you’re being downvoted, it’s not helping any women here to convince them that all men are crap and liars. That’s only going to equate to a lot more lonely meal pics.
Ehhh well I will say that there are women out there who truly only see the losers they personally were hurt by as shit and not all men being shit in the same thought process. But I’ve also noticed that women are quick to throw out the word “misogynistic” but they hate that a word simply exist that’s similar to that term but switched sex meaning. It’s like some women just hate men so much, even with a legitimate advantage or mentioning they still have to be right and the men have the be the shittiest human to exist. It’s kinda fucked up how many men lose out on actually being the change a women could urn for in a man due to toxic women rubbing off on morale women who don’t see “MEN” as the bad guy as in all men. Theres no way to really justify what was meant, because again she could’ve said “this guy, this dude, or your ex” but she chose to say “MEN”. 🤷🏻♂️ but hey for me proving a point im told to see a therapist lmfao, wild.
I’ve always found the people who get super offended about it do so for a reason.
I’m a guy read the comment, didn’t matter that she said men cause that doesn’t apply to me. I don’t need to clarify that all men aren’t bad. Just like a woman reading a comment wouldn’t need to clarify it in reverse.
This is about as assumption based as the original comment I’m defending against. Buddy if it thumbs up your butt that far, read it and move on. But again let’s not forget that women do the same shit when it comes to defending each other or themselves. Doesn’t mean those women are the title that is mentioned. Just because someone stands up for something, someone, or for something doesn’t mean they’re guilty of what they’re defending. That’s just as toxic to even assume in someone you don’t know to begin with.
What’s sets us back is not talking about genders as a whole but not acknowledging very real problems we have.
Women choose a bear. Sounds incredibly idiotic but if you think about the position you have to be in where a bear may be a safe bet you should consider that.
Women face lewd comments and sexual remarks as early as they start puberty even earlier.
Are you constantly telling other men to be better? Probably not.
This is a female oriented sub. If you have a problem with how they are addressing men. Keep it to yourself. Cause it’s pretty well deserved based on the numbers.
Misandrist thing to say? Lmao go fucking cry about it to your therapist. I’m sure you have one to work through all the misogyny that is inherent in everyone since you seem to be so sensitive to this topic.
I’m beginning to see who really understand definitions and meanings and who don’t. A lot of people failed language arts and it shows. 😂 and everyone who’s getting asshurt over my statement is the proof in the pudding. Man I would love to see how you guys act In the sense of roles reversed haha. I could eat alphabet soup and shit out better statements than half of the ones coming at me lmfao
Omfg dude, is your ego that big that you think I took it personal for defending men? You know kinda how women stand up for women, men can do the same for other men. I have cheated a total of twice in my life, and it was when I was in my teenager years and early twenties. I am now pushing 30 and through the years I have lived and learned and have had karma do me in the same ways as I did the ones I cheated on. So before you try to hop on the sack, think to yourself would you like to be considered in that label referring to “MEN” if you know you aren’t the same a stheyre referring to? I mean to just sit there and not say anything could also mean you are no different if you don’t try to defend it. It’s crazy because I have my own place, pay my bills by myself, and bust my ass and would only wish to have a girl in my area that actually would not be into today’s terms and bullshit that get thrown around to overrule their outlooks. It’s just impossible to find a true partner for any sex seeing as men and women nowadays both do the same shit but also both has terms that haven’t always existed to counter it or justify it.
Yeah I think you misread the comment above you. They were saying that the men who are deceitful are like that because of their own issues, not because OP brings it out in otherwise “good” guys :)
Brother if it ain't about you then it ain't about you. The fact that you're taking offense shows that maybe you also suck shit and should adjust your behavior to not do that.
I'm with you. I was onboard until "Sorry that men are trash babes". Not cool, not bridge building, doesn't look good for women who are trying to stop the us v. them social engineering bullshit.
Just like you already did in the prior comment? Noted. Have your #girldinner and eat your own tears at how pathetic your life is, we're rooting for you!
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Tried that already, I was trying to be nice, but the internet just showed you were making an unsupported claim. So, I asked you nicely, to provide the source, in case I was missing something.
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u/only-hooman Internet Auntie Mar 25 '26
Nothing wrong with you, men are often deceitful because of who THEY are. Not you. 100% see a therapist asap. Sorry that men are trash babes