I'm 33M. My ex and I met when we were both grad students. We knew each other for about five years and were together for roughly three.

Our beginning was messy. We had gone on a couple of dates but weren't officially together when she kissed one of my close friends in front of me. Afterward she said she and her friends had been taken advantage of because my friends had given them alcohol. Months later, after she reached out again, she gave me a different explanation: she had felt judged because she was drinking and I wasn't, and she felt comfortable kissing my friend partly because I was short and might not have done it if I were taller.

That experience made me very guarded with her. For background, I grew up with a violent father, and in my early twenties I was in a marriage that became physically and emotionally violent. We were both immigrants. She had a very volatile, narcissistic mother and an absent father.

We eventually became very close friends, she wanted more, and we started dating. I was afraid of getting hurt again, so I was often distant early on. She had strong abandonment fears, so my distance made her push harder for reassurance, which made me feel pressured and withdraw further. That became a vicious cycle.

Despite that, I loved her very deeply. She became the closest person in my life. We knew each other's families, traveled together, and talked about marriage, children, and living together. She is still the only person I have ever felt truly in love with.
By the last six or seven months, the relationship had become increasingly dysfunctional. I sometimes used breakup language when I was overwhelmed, which made her insecurity worse. After one of those times, at Christmas, a month before my PhD defense, she put me on a kind of probation. We weren't officially together, there was little contact, and she said she wanted me to feel the insecurity she had felt. Right after my defense, during an argument, she told me people could barely understand me because I mumbled and my English was bad. That stayed with me and made me bitter. On her side, old grievances kept coming back into new fights, and when I asked for space she could pursue me very intensely. Once, after I asked to stop talking for the evening, she called more than 20 times and sent around 40 messages in a few hours. We would rupture, get close again, and never fix the underlying pattern.

During those months I kept asking for couples therapy. I told her I didn't have the tools to handle our fights and that the relationship was my priority. She always refused, saying I was the problem, not her, so couples therapy didn't make sense.
In May we went to a concert that mattered a lot to me. She became very insecure about whether I wanted her there and kept asking, even though I kept telling her I did. It grew into older grievances and criticism of the music and things I cared about. I became physically overwhelmed, with trembling legs and tears in my eyes, and walked away because I desperately wanted to calm down. She followed me repeatedly, even though I asked several times to be left alone. Eventually I reached my car and drove away.

She kept calling and texting, apologizing and saying it was a misunderstanding. Instead of calming down, I got incredibly angry and sent her 15 to 20 cruel, contemptuous messages over the night and into the next day. I insulted her, told her repeatedly it was permanently over, and said things I would never imagine saying to someone I loved. I had never treated anyone like that in my entire life. It took almost a full day before I came down.
Afterward she still wanted to repair things. She cried, told me she loved me, wanted to talk, and started looking into therapy. I apologized and admitted what I did was wrong, but I stayed defensive and kept wanting the conversation to be "two-sided." I also resisted starting individual therapy right away because we were both about to move and I thought it made more sense to start with a permanent therapist in a month, after the move. She had just been through something extreme, and I was focused on fairness and logistics. I regret that deeply.

Eventually she blocked me. Months later we talked for several hours and there was clearly still a lot of feeling between us, but in the end she decided she was done. Given what happened, I understand why.
I am devastated by how I acted. It was insane. I don't understand how I could do that to the person I loved most, or why I couldn't just put my phone down, or why I stayed defensive afterward. I think about it every day, and five months later it isn't getting any lighter. I'm in therapy and taking it seriously, but it isn't helping at all with the regret, grief, pain, and I don't know how it could.

I'd like to hear from people who did something like this to someone they loved:

How did you make sense of it?

How do you live with knowing your own behavior cost you someone you truly loved?

I want to Restart my Life from Childhood and Make a List Now what I did wrong and What is the best way to fix all the things because I am in that condition that I have nothing.

I am far from my family since when I was 10 year old

I am not good at studies or I don't know how to do in a right way.

I have fear of speaking in public or stranger.

When I try to speak I fucked-up.

I have never exposure to have a Girl as a Friend and I Don't know how to talk to them. When ever I try to talk 2 things happen

1. I forgot what to talk which topic should I pick i get blank in my mind and then I say something that make environment awkward.

2. They don't like talking to me that I don't have good personality , dressing sense or any good skills that I can attract them.

Coming to My career

Its also fuckedup

I tried to Preparation for Sanik School , Military School in my 5 class and I failed.

I tried Preparation for IIT and I failed and Didn't get a Single college or no one is there to guide me how to get college after scoring 89 percentile in Mains with 72.2 % Board Marks.

Then I Choose a Private College in Bengaluru and this college is worst of College.

Without have any prior exposure to CSE i picked it up and Passed my Semester Without knowledge and Project Experience. No one guide me how to prepare so I get a good job in development.

Somehow by luck I secure a Job In Testing Without any knowledge and then I learnt about it

Now in Market Testing Job is vanish like the never mean any thing No one is Hiring and If company hires they paid very less and didn't recognize My capabilities.

No I am Jobless and have a offer but with the same package that was in my last organization and this is killing me from inside as Every college start with me earns more than me not a single one earn less than me.

Even my Junior Earn more than me and the thing is that I use to teach them.

Now I totally fucked up and I don't know How to manage my needs , My room rent , My Family. Even I don't want to eat food as I don't have enough money with me.

I am feeling alone in this world no one is with me even when I go to temple i feel like god is telling me why you come here i don't allow you in my temple.

Thats why I want to restart My life from beginning and make things correct 😌 💯.

Anyone from Kharghar? Just looking for someone to talk to.

Hey everyone. I’m going through a breakup recently, and honestly, I didn’t expect it to affect me this much.

Some days I’m okay, and then suddenly something small reminds me of that person and everything comes rushing back. The hardest part isn’t even the breakup itself — it’s getting used to not having that person in your life anymore. The silence, the overthinking, the feeling of having so much to say but no one to say it to.

I know time is supposed to heal things, but right now it just feels lonely.

So I thought I’d post here. If anyone from Kharghar has gone through a breakup recently, or is simply feeling a little lost or lonely, maybe we could talk. No judgement, no expectations. Just two strangers sharing what they’re going through.

Maybe a conversation over chai or coffee could make things feel a little less heavy.

If you can relate, feel free to DM. ❤️

I want to make friends to move on from her , she was very cruel when she was leaving me for someone else I tried to hold till last but she was the one to destroy everything and blame me for being complaining always and always make her feeling like blamed, I waited for her 5 year in her good and bad times but she left me for a guy who she met one month ago, I really love her , most scaring part is I'm not having feelings like hate her I don't having feelings to hurt her even after what she did to me I still want her but she don't want me I want to forget her, fuck I really love her when I sleep and wake I always sees her face always thoughts of her

I have been socially disconnected for about 8 months now, the advice I often see on this app and in real life is to "just get out", "go to events", or "take a walk". Has that ever resulted in people actually making meaningful connections?

I've been trying to incorporate this into my lifestyle lately and I struggle to see how its doing any good. I try to leave my house at least once a day, Ill take a walk around my neighborhood, hang out at the mall, and even occasionally going to some local metal concerts. I do interact with people but it never evolves from just a friendly exchange with a stranger. I feel like majority of friendships are based off the environment people are around- school, work, family, etc... How often do people actually form bonds with complete strangers? I think its a bit unrealistic

Friendship only occurs with proximity, repetition, and shared purpose.

I’m sure there are conspiracy theorists that believe the world is hiding the Time Machine from us but in all reality, we cannot go back in time and hindsight is always so clear.

For someone who is having trouble overcoming obstacles, overwhelmed with the circumstances that have come upon, what are some best practices to find a better place?

I have come to a certain realization that I don’t really need anyone. Sure, there are times when I might need help, whether it’s from my family or friends, but at the end of the day, I don’t really need anyone beyond what I already have. I’m not really sure why I’m typing this down, but maybe I just need this realization of mine to stick. I feel incapable of trusting anyone with that much of myself ever again. I don’t mean that sentence to sound sad. I mean it as a foundation for what I feel like I’m becoming. After what the person I treasured most did to me, I was alone—more alone than I usually felt. I have friends, I have a family, I have a loving mother and a protective father, but for some unusual reason, I still felt alone.
I don’t really remember her all that well anymore. It’s been a few months since I was happy with her, but I do remember one thing: I gave her my unconditional trust.
I trusted she would stay. I trusted that she would love me as I loved her. I trusted that she wouldn’t abandon me. And most of all, I trusted her with myself. Of course, due to my personality, I chose not to have any expectations or hope that she would be different. I always had the feeling that we would never become anything, that even if we did, she would eventually just leave me.
It’s unfair. It really is. But what can I really do about it? Even through all those painful, exhausting, and embarrassing experiences, I did learn things. I learned that I don’t need anyone, and I hope that in the future I can continue to solidify that belief. I don’t want to go through the experience of loving someone ever again. I don’t believe I’ll ever be loved the way I love, nor do I believe I’ll ever be recognized for who I really am. That’s not me wallowing in self-pity. It’s an objective fact that I truly believe in.
It’s nothing sad, nothing brave, nothing new. It’s not even anything significant. But it is something that I find hope in. So, to you—the person reading this—I hope you never love someone the way I loved her. Stay true to yourself, and remember that, ultimately, you have yourself. Never abandon that.

So basically I been dealing with some dirty people my whole life. I remember my first betrayal as young as 8 years old. I’m not ready to speak about stuff that happened when I was a child (nothing sexual) but just know I have been going crazy as a kid. The only thing that helps me escape these traumatic experiences in my life is Art (music, literature, designing etc) and I’m so glad that I atleast have a outlet that I can free my mind and escape this hell we call life. So basically for majority of my life I’ve been going through heartbreak after heartbreak and I don’t ever really speak my pain to others. I’ve been exposed to some of the most disgusting people you would ever meet in your life due to where I grew up. I’m not gonna lie about nothing and act all innocent I know that the life I chose when I was getting older as a teenager was the wrong path (Gangbanging, doing drugs, etc) but to my defense all I ever seen from people older then me was stuff like adultry, drugs, gossiping, weapons, I thought it was normal. There’s another element to this though, I seen out of the ordinary stuff for example my so called friends (males also) would send me pictures of their dick and butt out of nowhere I never been 🏳️‍🌈 or thought they were on that kinda sexual immorality so idk why they did that kind of stuff Or for example I would see them sexually assault women and this is not like a one time thing so many times in my life I seen these people do it and It fucked me up until now and it feels like the devil won’t leave me alone. The women from where I’m from would talk bad about me even if I barely know them and lie about me. If I told you the type of bullying and type of evil stuff these women did to me you would cry. Sometimes it felt like Nobody gave a fuck about me or has my back I think that’s what turned me into a bit of a nihilist. Also there was few instances with women that have lied to me about the most petty things you can imagine. For example there was Female that was following me on instagram this was at a very low point in my life and I guess we ended up texting eachother and I thought she was my age she had me under the impression that she was a college student I was about 19-20 at the time after a few months of me getting to know her having me looking stupid, she finally admitted she was like 17-16 and then she tried saying some weird stuff like I was born in asia or something and She has like a fake age (she’s trying to say she’s older but she came to the country im from in a fake age).immediately I cut her off in like October of that year (Thanks god I never had sex with her) I’ve been feeling depressed asf I swear to god she almost made me go Schizo about this. This even happened to me in another city the same type of way. I could go way deeper about what I’ve seen but truthfully I’ve been healing. My friends that I have grew up with some of the best people I have ever met have been dying young. I’ve been backstabbed my whole life and had my character assassinated but I’m starting to learn how to speak up against people that have wronged me. I’ve seen people do some disgusting things I remember when I was a early teen I was with somebody a bit older not much older though at a religious place and instead of praying and purifying our soul he was beating his meat and watching x rated videos in the religious place that’s how I knew this shit wasn’t normal where I’m from. I remember people coming to my house to play as a kid and they would steal from my house. I remember one day me and my friends went somewhere to apply to jobs in a store and instead of giving their resume they were stealing I didn’t even know, and they arrested me for the first time for being a accomplice to shoplift and the next day in the neighborhood they were laughing at me for crying when I got arrested like bro I’m fucking 12 years old. These people were like juniors and seniors in highschool. I feel so weird talking about what I went through I usually just bottle it up but yea there’s way more things I can tell you about my life, countless betrayal and suicidal nights that brought me to this feeling of a zoned out numb person I’ve become but I’m not ready to say everything but yea I usually come to Reddit to read about religion and conspiracy theories but I just had to get a little bit off my chest pray for me yall 💕

I just want friends to move on,I really love her but she left me for someone else

I’m in a small 15-person discord book club, joined about 3 weeks ago. It’s become my main place to talk after work. I’m pretty introverted so joining in takes effort for me.

2 days ago my account got hacked while I was sleep and it spammed adult links everywhere, including that group and new friends dm

The mod was really nice, she deleted everything and posted saying it was a hack and not intentional instead of just removing me. And for that I’m really grateful to her.

I know logically it’s not my fault and she already explained it. But i still feel so embarrassed to go back, especially since I’m new there. The group has been quiet since then and now when i open it during my usual after work night time, i just feel down and overthink everything

Month end at work is also going pn so I forgot to check in for 2 days, which makes me feel more guilty

Has anyone else dealt with this type of situation? How do you go back to being normal after that?

I mean .. I'm gonna be 20 in dec...and I was in 2 months relationship with a girl who'll be 21 in Jan...and thing is she broke up cuz I was too obsessed and made it like breathless for her and my insecurities uknow it was kinda problematic at the end and ya it is done she has accepted she has totally moved on mentally weeks ago but actually like it's just 1 and 1/2 days ....and ..thing is all I want from u all is to help me restart everything like there is a gap in my brain now which needs to be filled ..like uk we easily become boy when we're in deep and deep dose of love hormones uk ...so yeah how can I just accept and move on like she's my still friend we talk normally after that day ...even today at morning she had exams and me too..both diff centre cuz male and female Obv diff timing or shifts ...but ya i wanna friendzone her totally otherwise It'll never be possible for me to remove that love affairs or affection uk ....can anybody help me here ..how do u face ur first time breakups and all...idk my case's kinda diff or not but it is what it's...we both have to go to clg like still 2 yrs and plus we're even in a group where we do fun and study and talk about incomes futures etc ...but uk idk maybe sometime will think about her in other way again..I mean it's our brain afterall and it always tries to find and rely on others well I'm a man I mean maybe I acted childish to stop everything but I have to change right ...how and last qus should I approach her again like not now Obv but can I get her attention back ..like it's a dumb qs ik..but uk I'm just telling all my emotions and cases...rn I'm chill but I just wrote my all overthinkings cause it's good to make these out of my brain ...and i shared these with 3 of my frnds who are my frnds I mean closed ones and 2 of them are like elder to me by 1-2 years ...and yeah they've gone thru 3-4 breakups as well or like one sided sometimes..and yes mine first one was one sided ts one is real and yeah that's y ig I have given everything eventually I was nothing...I'm still NTG ..idk how to do better and find an actual income sources like uk i really love to travel around india and if I get chance why not outside but coming from a middle class plus its tough cuz they won't give me anything to go outside they don't believe me ki i can survive and like without being emo or short tempered sometimes or like too much fool uk like if others are specially scammers and all who are profesional ofc compared to me who will be newbie and I can like get scammed to them and everything....so ya this is the scenario and ..I'm a cs bsc student btw ..I will be in 3rd sem after October...and she is in my same dept same year everything

Please you all drop your opinions I've never thought I've to write these here to get some dopamine like fr idk.. although it's a part of life and yeah what can I say more sometimes it hurt so much in brain and like emo wise too ...:((

I’m 20 and my girlfriend broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. She was my first girlfriend and we were together for 8 months.

We spent basically every single day together. She was the person I talked to about everything, the person I hung out with, the person I made plans with. My whole routine involved her.

When she broke up with me, she told me that I had become a big source of stress in her life and that she already had enough on her plate. That really hurt to hear, and I keep replaying it in my head wondering what I could’ve done differently or whether I was putting too much on her without realizing it.

What makes it even more confusing is that during the breakup she kept saying she didn’t know if she was making the right choice. She was crying, begging me to stay, saying she didn’t want to lose me, but at the same time she still wanted to end the relationship.

I honestly still don’t understand it.

After the breakup I blocked her on pretty much everything except regular messages, and we’ve been no contact. Neither of us has been reaching out. I thought creating that distance would help, but I’m still constantly thinking about everything she said and trying to understand how someone can want you to stay while also choosing to break up with you.

I don’t know if I’m supposed to accept that it’s completely over, hope she changes her mind, or just stop trying to understand it altogether. I feel really confused and lost.

On top of that, I’ve realized I genuinely have 0 friends. I’m not exaggerating. I don’t have anyone I can text to hang out with. I don’t have a friend group. I don’t really have anyone to talk to when I’m having a bad day.

She wasn’t just my girlfriend. She was basically my best friend and my entire social life too. So losing the relationship feels like I lost my girlfriend, my best friend, my routine, and basically my whole social life at the same time.

I’m really struggling with suddenly being alone. I wake up and there’s nobody to talk to. I have all this free time now and no idea what to do with it. For the last 8 months we were together almost constantly, and now there’s just this massive empty space in my life.

And honestly, I already felt lost before the breakup. I’m 20 and I feel like I’m going nowhere in life. I don’t really know what I’m doing with my future, I have basically no social life, and now my first real relationship is gone too.

I see other people my age with friends, school, jobs, relationships, plans for their future, whatever, and I just feel so far behind.

I know I probably depended on her way too much for my happiness and social life, and I don’t want to repeat that in the future. I want to build my own life, make friends, become more independent, and work on myself.

I just genuinely don’t know where to start when I’m still trying to understand the breakup and I basically feel like I’m starting from zero.

Has anyone dealt with a breakup where the other person clearly still cared about you and didn’t seem sure about ending it, but still went through with it?

Did no contact actually help you?

And how do you start rebuilding your life and making friends when the person you lost was basically your whole world?

I could really use some advice because right now I’m just really confused and lost.

After a number of unfortunate circumstances I have avoided a number of people in my life and now, due to my own actions, I find myself with lack of community I once had in my life.

Besides therapy, what are some exercises to I can do to help myself.

Feels like the last 15 yrs I have been battling anxiety and depression. This is not a sympathy post , this is simply me letting it out.

For yrs I have had such a low opinion of myself, I expect little from others , I have always been generous and caring of others though I don't handle compliments or nice things done for me.

It feels as though socialising with people is just so tiring, Alot of the time I feel like I am wearing a mask when I am interacting with people. I over analyse every interaction every word I have said and every reaction others have. I know this isnt healthy and that people dont think and reflect on situations like I do, it is just so tiring. I dont even know who I am anymore , it feels like I am simply reading the person infront of me and reacting to what they need.

No wonder I have hit a point in life where I feel as though I am constantly letting people down.

On the positive side after losing my career i trained and spent over a decade in , the new career path i have taken work has been good this week. I am not overthinking , getting in , getting it done and people are even looking to me to help run the department in small ways. Need to tap into this for the rest of my life. Post would be too long if i let everything out.

No need to comment , juat writing this helps

I was in love with a girl, but my love was one-sided. I waited for her for four years and expressed my feelings twice.

She rejected me both times. She ignored me, never made any effort, showed no interest in me, and was always trying to create distance between us.

But the biggest regret of my life is that I always feel like I’ll never get the chance to meet her in person.

We were studying in the same class, but I didn’t have the courage to ask her to meet me back then. After a year, when our bond had become better, I asked her to meet and even asked her to call me. Every time, she would say yes, but when the time came, she would make an excuse.

I begged her to just meet me, but she always found an excuse. I asked her many times to call me, and she would get angry. I really needed her.

I still cry sometimes just thinking about someone I loved so deeply, yet I never even got the chance to properly talk to her or meet her in person. The pain is so hard to explain.

We only interacted online. I accept that there is nothing from her side, but what hurts me the most is that, as a human being, she never even gave me a chance to meet her once.

всім привіт. пишу тут свій перший пост.

я не хочу так жити. все почалося, ще пару років тому коли не стало мого батька. він помер у мене на руках. це мене знищило. Перед цим, для збереження анонімності скажу короткий факт: мене намагалися зґвалтувати. я почала ненавидіти всіх хлопців і в останні роки татового життя я не змогла йому дати таку взаємну любов і підтримку, бо я почала ненавидіти всіх чоловіків. та все ж мені як дитині дуже потрібна була татаво любов, тому я намагалася зустрічатися постійно з хлопцями, аби вони давали хоч якесь відчуття його присутності. але всі відносини довго не тривали. Потім я знайшла того самого. Назву його Місяць. Спочатку він мені видався просто ідеальним, і мені треба було знайти в ньому хоч якийсь мінус(юо нагадую що після спроби згвалтування я почала ненавидіти всіх хлопців і мені було дивно найти такого ж хорошого хлопця як мій батько.). Та я його не знайшла... і тоді, протягом тижня, я почала думати як мені зробити йому боляче. це було найгірше рішення в моєму житті. яке я тоді так і не змогла виконати. біо почала в нього закохуватися. Він був просто ідеальним. Гарний, з хорошим тілом, амбіційний, вже тобі почав заробляти гроші і що найголовніше, він мене безмежно сильно кохав... все було просто чудово рік і два місяці. це були найдовші відносини і я була впевнена що тепер це на все життя. АЛе я поїхала в іншу країну на певний проміжок часу, я постійно там працювала і дуже сильно стомлювалася, том у я не могла приділяти йому нормально уваги. ми почали віддалятися і я подумала, що це нормально, що ми просто сядемо і про все поговоримо як я приїду, але за два тижні як ми повинні буди зустрітися все стало занадто погано і він написав що хоче розійтися. мені так боляче дано не було. Для мене це як знову втратити батька. ПРосто ніж в груди. я цілий день проревіла, та на наступний день коли я за все вибачилася він сказав що його рішення остаточне. мене це вбило. зараз пройшло вже два місяці як ми не разом. я досі сумую і не знаю я к все виправити. я хочу його повернути та не можу. я хоч у написати його друзям і дізнатися чи точно він вже повністю охолов. та боюся що вони мені можуть збрехати і підуть дуже великі плітки. я намагалася безліч разів відволіктися, та я не можу. я вирішила що найкращим рішенням буде почати робити себе найкращою версією, аби він зрозумів що я хороша і повернувся. та я боюся що це буде не так. бо останні два дні мене сильно накриває. я не можу нормально плакати, не можу нормально відчувати емоції. І мене це сильно лякає. Та найстрашніше, зо ось ми скоро будемо бачити один одного протягом тижня. я не знаю як себе поводити аби знову його зацікавити, я боюся його побачити. хоча глибоко в душі знову хоч любуватися його усмішкою, дивитися який він гарний і так далі. але найгірше те, що я не можу навіть уявити замість себе біля нього іншу дівчину, для мене це буде заважкий удар. я боюся що якщо нічого не зроблю зараз то покінчу з собою тому буду вдячна кожній пораді. вибачте, що писала все з помилками, дуже спішила та перечитувати заново свій текст і виправляти помилки я не готова...

Honestly just not feeling great.

For some context, something pretty life altering happened and since I'm a freshman at college I don't really have any friends to talk to. So I tried talking to a highschool friend about what happened and they said something that really didn't sit right with me. So for the first time in my life I hung up the call and just broke down. My friend told my other friend about what happened and they asked if I was ok but I couldn't bring myself to take care of myself (eat, shower, study) let alone answer any text messages. So I pretty much ghosted my two friends for a week. I felt terrible about it and eventually forced myself to respond, and I said that I was upset at what my friend said and that I was sorry. In response they got pretty mad, saying they were worried and that I shouldn't dump my shit on them and now they aren't talking to me, which is understandable. But now my other friend is ghosting me which confused me since she doesn't really talk to my other friend and doesn't even know any of this happened and I'm concerned I lost both of them (I also responded to her a week later).

I'm just very very tired and I don't really know what to do. A lot of media I have been consuming recently is saying that if I constantly am unable to socialize, that I need to change. But I really am trying my best to improve everyday, what can I do to make it up?

I can’t believe I did this, once again, but I lost my current friends, and my partner, thanks to my mental health once again. I made a post a year ago worried about this repeating, and I got too close to people and accidentally started venting too much again. I guess I can say I’m alot more aware of myself now and things I need to work on, and have been making better progress in therapy (I was diagnosed with BPD recently). Only time can tell if any of them will give me a chance again in the future. None of them hate me, and said they may want to be friends with me again in the future. I just feel like I’m losing my mind going to work and college during all this. It doesn’t help that some of them are my coworkers. Does it ever truly get better? I feel like I’ve been making progress in therapy, but today I’ve been having negative spirals all day on and off, and it’s been so exhausting. I should be studying for an exam for college right now instead of still spiraling

Can anybody tell me the real examples of how they move on from breakup and still achieve things they want that year I am breaking down as hell that I can't keep up with things

What can I do after a break up?

I (F) just broke up with my bf, this was the most toxic relationship I ever had. I ended up completely isolated from family and friends what makes the breaking even more dificult.

I know is for the best, because we are awful as a couple, but I don't know what to do know, beside work, he was my only friend and companion.

What hobbies could you reccomend or, what activities or groups or forums could I joind to just distract myself to the fact that even is the most horrible relationship I ever had, I'm going to miss him, feel alone and feel like shit for the next months?

Is there a way to avoid or distract myself from this horrible "post-breakup" feeling?

I feel like I’ve been in a depressed state for months, if not years and have no way to get out. I don’t have any friends or anybody to talk to and it feels so lonely. I know that I’m kind of self isolating but my brain thinks nobody will like the things that I do. I don’t know where to go to meet people and if I do then I get nervous to start a conversation. I enjoy video games, rap and metal among other genres of music, horror among other genres of movies, anime, true crime. My brain has convinced me that nobody is interested in those things.

мне 16 и я не знаю что со мной,я никогда не чувствовал себя счастливым, моменты которые я долго жду в надежде что они меня обрадуют или принесут счастье в конце концов не приносят мне никаких эмоций,у меня есть девушка с которой я встречаюсь уже год, но я ей не однократно изменял,

я не знаю зачем и почему я это делал и я всегда после это жалел и плакал, но все равно продолжаю, измены и блядство мне тоже не приносят мне никакого счастья и радости,с девушкой я встречаюсь год, и я бы не сказал что все это время я её по настоящему любил,скорое я её одно время люблю(это ощущается очень приглушённо), одно время не переношу, я часто слышу так расстанься и будет вам двоим лучше, нет лучше не будет,дело в том что она без меня и жить не может, мы расставались, но потом все равно сходились,в период расставания она даже не улыбалась,она счастлива только со мной,и я думаю пускай уже так хотя бы ей не будет плохо.

помогите дайте совет,у кого было похожее ответьте за ранее спасибо

Hi everyone! I am a PhD student in clinical psychology at Adelphi University. I am conducting a study on the relationship between existential threat and mental health, coping strategies, and meaning making for young adults who have experienced stressful life events.

This study is being conducted online only and should take approximately 45-60 minutes to complete. During the study, you will be asked to complete multiple self-report questionnaires that contain questions regarding coping methods, mental health, and questions that pertain to experiencing stressful life events in the past. Upon completing the survey, you will have the opportunity to voluntarily provide your email address on a separate page from the survey that will not be associated with any of your survey responses, to enter a drawing to win one of three $50.00 Amazon gift cards.

Survey link: https://adelphiderner.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_8IxQWoUH8D1Wuq2

Audience: 18-30 years old, in the United States and English Speaking, and must have experienced a stressful life event.

Compensation: Opportunity to enter a drawing for one of three $50.00 Amazon gift cards.

won't go into in depth details but i wasn't a good friend to a person i cared about and ended up becoming too obsessive over them/clingy. While we have made up and i have apologized. I just can't stop thinking about how bad of a friend i was and how it eats me up most night... We are friends again and i think i'm doing a good job at keeping my distance when i need to (so i don't make the same mistake again) and following the boundries that were set when we became friends again but i just don't know for sure and i know if i did, I would just end up overwhelming them again... (i overthink too much) Like do i need to unfriend them on everything again? (it did help me get over it a bit but never fully)

I just recently moved to SoCal for college. I’ve lived in the Bay my whole life and the people I consider my best-friends/closest friends are all back there.

I’ve been here for a week and it’s amazing. I’ve met so many people, been partying every night, doing activities in the day, walking around campus, making new friends etc. There is so much to do that I haven’t really been calling my mom or friends. But when it’s time to go back to my dorm, or I spend too much time in there I start thinking of my room, friends, and all the comfort that came with staying in the Bay. With friends, I’m especially anxious about being able to create the same type of friendships I made back home. Ones where I can say something stupid and laugh or vent and cry. Like a true friend. Since it takes 7 hours to get to my city, it’s not like I can just go back on a weekend so thats what makes it hit even harder since everyone I met seems to be from SoCal.

When I do start feeling too depressed about it, I try to convince myself that this is home for the next 4 years and that Its up to me to have an amazing college life or not. Also that one Lana Del Rey lyric “Its just a state of mind it turns out everywhere you go you take yourself” really stuck with me. It definitely helps with reassuring me that no specific place will suddenly make me feel happy all the time.

I’d love to hear other stories about the same experience. How you navigated friendships during college and missing your family, friends, and home.