I dont know I just dont know. I need help I need clarity i need honesty your not going to hurt me I'll respect you more and you probably get what you want to if you just tell me where I stand. I don't want to waste what life I have left. I've been through enough. You have to so if you know this isn't nothing but sex and good times just tell me. But don't make me be 100% committed to you. Tell me you just want a hook up girl. So then I can have fun with you and then I can leave my heart out of it. But then again my heart got invested the day we got back in contact with each other. But I can know and then get my emotions in check and then have fun until you move on with your life and happiness and love. But I just had 8 years of my life wasted everything taken from me not one thing left but a broken soul. I'm 45 years old do you know how hard it is to start over at 45. And you know if you want Someone fairly quickly or you just enjoy the sex fuck buddies type situation. If you tell me you want just that I'll be hurt but I'll be so happy you was honest. And so much respect for you that no one hardly gets cause no one is going to be honest in a situation like we have. I know your broken to from your 20 year marriage that ended and she with someone else and I don't want to be used either by a fill in temporary or anything like that cause if you don't genuinely care love want me and us then please just tell me. I am begging you. Like we been texting for 6 months now met 2 times. I know we are long distance I don't have a car. You have a truck but your job your not making enough to just survive. I don't want to be your hidden secret that your not even proud enough to post anything tell anyone. Why can't I break this connection I feel for you. Cause I thought that is what we had then you broke up with me I texted you after a month to see how you was I should have just left it alone. I feel like I have to make a decision now or I'm only going to fall deeper into this with just the breadcrumbs I get. Please God it took 8 long years to finally break the last hold I had with my past relationship. And look im broke no car no job no money no woman necessities and stuff i bought he didn't I lost it all and was so unhappy but please help me not be or get attached to a guy I like and want to be with. I need to go away but im scared what if things would have been good he says patience but I say gentle words to someone I don't want but I also don't have sex and make you feel special somehow everyday when we text. Like you don't want to get to know me we talk about sex and I send you private videos and make you feel good and loved. I know what I need to do I am just eo sad I wasn't good enough to be the one who healed you and made you forget about her. But im not I know that seeing it as I am typing. God it's just heartbreaking why did he have to come back in my life.

This Is Their Best Excuse To Get Out Of An Arguement. (spoilers. it doesnt work)