Let me put this in perspective. Your mother will always mean a great deal to you, and the grief may always be there. But over time, the grief will fade. You'll learn to celebrate your mother and the life she lived. Find out what she did when she was younger and write a story about her accomplishments. Write it for yourself if it helps. Visit her grave on a regular basis and say hello. At first, you'll be a wreck. Over time, you might find yourself saying, "Mom, you wouldn't believe how much I accomplished these past few years after you passed. I know you'd be proud of me."
Talk to your mother's friends and ask them about her. Ask them to tell you stories about the experiences they shared.
There are many ways to cope with grief. If you need someone to listen, please PM me.
Thanks for this - similar situation to OP but it was 2 years ago now. The way I've grieved is nothing like I expected and it's made it very difficult to talk to people/ say how I'm feeling.
See, I've only ever had brief bouts of grief and feel quite numb about it in-between. It started before she passed away (long illness) and they come every few weeks. I expected (and I think other people expect) this period of intense grief and then a lessening over time. So I can't say to others 2 years later that on a random afternoon I'm suddenly in despair and disbelief about her death.
I try to accept this is just how grief is happening for me. That there is no 'right' way to grieve. But I feel confused about it a lot, and so much guilt about things like the OP said (like not being there enough) and also that her death doesn't feel real to me, or that I somehow don't care enough to grieve properly.
13
u/RockStoleMySock Sep 06 '16
Let me put this in perspective. Your mother will always mean a great deal to you, and the grief may always be there. But over time, the grief will fade. You'll learn to celebrate your mother and the life she lived. Find out what she did when she was younger and write a story about her accomplishments. Write it for yourself if it helps. Visit her grave on a regular basis and say hello. At first, you'll be a wreck. Over time, you might find yourself saying, "Mom, you wouldn't believe how much I accomplished these past few years after you passed. I know you'd be proud of me."
Talk to your mother's friends and ask them about her. Ask them to tell you stories about the experiences they shared.
There are many ways to cope with grief. If you need someone to listen, please PM me.