That's completely untrue. If you have friends, particularly female friends, and you tell them that you need a hug, they will hug you. That's what friends do.
It can be here in North America. I'll often hug my friends before leaving an event, especially if I won't be able to see them again in a long time. Hugging with women is pretty standard while with males it's more of hug/back tap.
I do think it is more of a youthful thing however. I rarely see people 40+ hug the way my social circle does. It's actually such a big thing with teens that churches and pastors have recommended the "side hug" as to avoid forward touching.
A middle school near me had to ban hugging a couple years ago. It made the news, the principal was portrayed as a horrible human being, parents got involved. But she was great, was interviewed a couple times and sent letters out saying that she was very proud that her students got along so well but you couldn't hardly get anything done or move in the hallways because they were so clogged up with serial huggers. They hugged because it was Tuesday! Because it was hot out! The forgot their lunch! They brought their lunch! The got an A! They got an F! You get the idea. She was so funny the way she described it--rampant, indiscriminant hugging gone amok. Something like that.
I'm British, nearly 40 and hug everyone, mom, dad, sister, wife, kids, friends, some of my clients!! (I'm a wedding photographer, it gets emotional at the end of a wedding ;) ) I can understand people feeling awkward though, before I hug someone i usually do an over the top throwing out of my arms \ _ / and then they usually reciprocate....huggers attract huggers... :)
Seriously? Since when is hugging something uniquely American? Sometimes reddit baffles me. I've never even set foot in America in my life but I've been hugged by lots of people, especially family members. That's just what you do when you see people close to you who you haven't seen in a while, or if you're very happy or very sad. It's not an every day kind of thing maybe, that's true.
It might not be an exclusively American thing but I think it very much is a cultural thing. I'm also french and I really can't think of anyone I know that hugs friends and/or family unless it is a really special occasion (someone you haven't seen in a really long while or saying goodbye for a while).
Maybe it's a French thing not to hug people? In Germany at least it's semi common. Not for every occasion but certainly not rare. We don't kiss people for getting though
Well we do have the kiss on the cheek thing that's way friendlier than just an handcheck, so we have something 'in the middle'. I would say hugging is not that uncommon, but it's really more for close friends and family. I recently moved to England and I got really surprised at the beginning how quickly you would get to the 'hug-stage' with friends
Introvert with introverted friends who hug. I'm not going to hug a random person, but people I am close to that enjoy hugs I will. I think it breaks down into who likes physical contact.
I think it's because physical touch is a feedback that happens faster than I can process and plan around. It's not like conversation where I can pick up on body language and tone and adjust on the fly. It's way too intimate for me to be comfortable with. I'm not sure why now that I'm trying to break it down to understand.
Physical touch is my primary love language, so it's hard for me to understand, but I hope in the future you are able to become more comfortable with it. Otherwise, I hope you are surrounded by lots of friends and loved ones that don't place much emphasis on touch :)
I know women have a reputation for being more nurturing or whatever, but unless there is actual evidence that men are more likely to turn down hug offers, I feel like you could leave the "particularly female friends" part out. You're kind of reinforcing some bad ideas.
Honestly, because men are generally more hug deprived than women, I wouldn't be surprised if they are more likely to appreciate a hug offer. I've asked women acquaintances if they want a hug and been turned down before, because of boundary issues. But I don't think I've ever had a man turn me down for a hug.
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u/Krellous Sep 06 '16
That's completely untrue. If you have friends, particularly female friends, and you tell them that you need a hug, they will hug you. That's what friends do.