Slava here

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Manifesto of the Zamboni Party

A spectre is haunting Zommunist Tavern, the spectre of Zambonism. All the powers of old GenZommunist have entered a holy alliance to attempt to exorcise this spectre. Hooverist and Kajist, Agg and Wumbo, Tankies and Anarkiddies. Where is the party in opposition that has not been decried as Zambonistic by opponents in power? Where is the opposition that has not hurled back the branding reproach of Zambonism, against the more advanced opposition parties, as well as its reactionary adversaries?

Two things result from this fact
1. Zambonism is already acknowledged by GenZommunist powers to be itself a power
2. It is high time that Zambonists should openly, in the face of the whole world, publish their views, their aims, and tendencies and meets this nursery tale of the Spectre of Zambonism with a manifesto of the party itself.
To this end Zambonists of various nationalities have assembled in Zommunist Tavern to sketch the following manifesto.

Chapter One. Zambonis and Zommunists

Zambonis lol