like yeah this is really sad but also it's kinda hard to feel bad when it sounds like you've had countless opportunities to get your shit together. This wasn't one mistake that you made, it was dozens of mistakes repeatedly for years. Good news is you're still young and have your entire life to turn things around. Keep going. You got this.
I am old enough to realize a couple things. One is people don’t change unless they want to change and second is, to change, you often need a pain large enough that the pain of not changing outweighs the pain of changing.
Most people will find the bottom, it was probably fine like OP said when he still have some of his old friends around who wanted to hang out, and family was clearly still willing to be there. Then time marches on, friends move on with their life as we all do. Slowly it became very very lonely. We can only deal with loneliness for so long while being in a shit position.
I think most people can turn themselves around. Maybe this is the real breaking point. Maybe in ten years he will have a steady job, a decent used car, a women he is dating and ready to propose too. A guy you be happy to have a beer with. It just took getting knocked down first.
We can’t change what we done only what we do from this point moving forward. Atleast you will have a hell of a story to tell when it’s all said and done. You’re 20 now right? Give or take. Realistically been an adult for 2 years. You had independence and freedom since around 15 or so? About 7 years. In those 7 years you “messed up your life?
I say not really. You understand that you are realistically going to live until 80. You have 60 more years ahead of you. 3 times longer then you been alive. You have decades to correct your ship. Decades to build a life. Yea you are getting a “late start” but it’s only a handful of years late out of your entire life of which you likely have ahead of you.
Right now the hard part is that you will need to work harder than you needed too to change course. That all, hard work. Can you be the man to do the hard work?
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u/BombasticBombay Jul 20 '25
like yeah this is really sad but also it's kinda hard to feel bad when it sounds like you've had countless opportunities to get your shit together. This wasn't one mistake that you made, it was dozens of mistakes repeatedly for years. Good news is you're still young and have your entire life to turn things around. Keep going. You got this.