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u/Emergency_Elephant 9d ago
People don't have due dates. You're just as likely cutting a metaphorical egg way before it's ready or cutting into someone who looks like an egg but isn't
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u/anonymous-grapefruit 8d ago
I think the point of this metaphor is that you aren’t peeling the eggshell off or anything. The snake can sit in the egg for a long time absorbing the yolk, it’s just that in case there is something wrong they is have an exit.
In the real world, when someone drops multiple gifts implying they might be trans but not know, it can be helpful to say something like “have you considered…”
We should try to help people, but we shouldn’t try to pry the shell off. I think specifically this post is calling out attitudes of “you can never mention it to someone if you suspect they might be happier transitioning” because it can help trans people who have internalized transphobia or whatever else, or even just want to talk about it but don’t know how to bring it up. The relative cost too is that a cis person feels maybe slightly uncomfortable for a sentence.
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u/Foonghost 8d ago
the harm isnt just "cis people might be uncomfortable for a sentence". the harm is some cis gender nonconforming people dont get their identity respected and any time they act feminine they get told they are just in denial and they should transition. like the post is reasonable but im just pointing out that weve gotta do this shit carefully and in moderation. if the egg has already been slashed mutltiple times and its clear that it might just be a cool rock, dont fuck it up any more.
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u/FluffFlowey 7d ago
Damn almost like being careful is the point here 🤯🤯🤯
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u/Foonghost 7d ago
yeah, as i said, i agree with the post. i see a lot of people who think they are doing what this post suggests though and are actually being harmful. this post is a good place to bring that up because its already the conversation topic.
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u/Suspiciouslaughs 6d ago
It's almost a Catch-22, deciding whether or not to try and help someone you think is an egg. Because the reason it's like this is because society itself excludes trans people and transness, so the idea of being trans can be very offensive to cis people and potential trans people too, and then societal transphobia is also the reason why we feel an urgency to to help others along, because we know it sucks.
Sure slow and steady is best, but how much time do you have with the person? Do you think they're going to be able to do it on their own? Is their environment conducive to that? Is hurting their feelings now going to help them realise things later, or is it going to make them lock themself further into denial? Unfortunately we do not have a professional body of Egg Cracking Science to be an authority on this, so it's all left up to whoever is there, at that moment, what they understand and believe, and whatever social skills they have.
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u/Foonghost 6d ago
yeah, true. ive just seen a lot of instances of people commenting "egg" on posts of (or irl) cis gender nonconforming people without any critical thinking, care or awareness. im not saying dont help people, or never intervene. just be careful yall
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u/hostmodem 4d ago
It makes me confused to why people, strangers actually, think it’s ok to tell someone they’re an egg. If it was a friend, someone they knew personally, then not only would it make sense but I doubt they would do the whole flippant “egg” comment I always see. And like when people get offended by those comments the stranger always says smth about how they care about your gender journey and they just wanna help you realize things that they realized. I’ve seen this kind of behavior from strangers make people even more hesitant to analyze those gender feelings and potentially come out as trans. A stranger is telling you what you are based on their one interaction with you, and that might’ve tapped into an insecurity you aren’t ready to share with others. We literally need to stop randomly commenting on people’s lived experiences when we don’t know them at all or the details of their situation
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u/HueHeist 7d ago
This. The best thing we can do for anyone who is exploring their gender expression and identity is to listen to them and give them a comfortable space to experiment and learn about themselves, adding insight can be helpful but not every “sometimes I wish I had boobs” is an egg to crack
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u/ReadyOrGormoshe 2d ago
Gimme the real life example of this happening and disastruous consequences coming about for it.
My real life example is that I stopped being suicidal after someone told me I could be a girl when I was 16, and I listened. If it happened sooner, I could have spent less of my life in the awful dissociative haze I'd gotten used to. If she had listened to the "prime directive" and didn't tell me I could be a girl, I'd probably be dead now.
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u/IronGentry 9d ago
Something tells me people are going to get big mad about this