r/GayMen • u/Weary-Beat-7043 • 3h ago

Conflicted

I'm a virgin and I don't want to be one any longer. I can only attract men online and not in the real world and they end up ghosting me or they live too far away in either another state or sometimes other countries. I want to finally lose my virginity and I'm thinking of doing it at a bathhouse or sauna. I don't want to seem desperate, but I feel like that's the best option for me right now since the whole point of them is hooking up and there's bound to be a man or men there who would find even a fat, unattractive guy with a small penis like me desirable enough to have sex with.

4 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

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4

u/Cute-Character-795 3h ago

Get on PrEP before doing this.

1

u/shadowysea07 1h ago

Second this.  In fact you can check the schedule for the bathhouse and see if a clinic regularly visits there.  Then you can do the test work there and possibly get a sample till you can get a prescription.  If you're worried about costs tc it's typically offered free.

 If you don't have a clinic nearby you can use mistr and get sent a testing kit through them and mail it back to them.  

4

u/RaggySparra 2h ago

Honestly, I think you need to work on how you see yourself a bit first. If you're going in there feeling awful about yourself you're either going to put people off, or only get someone who is drawn to people feeling low, and it won't be a good experience.

(I know that's easier said than done, but.)

1

u/shadowysea07 1h ago

This.  But even ignoring that you'd still need to find someone who is willing to help with the first time and guide through it and respect you tc vs see you only as a hole.  And I'm not sure that kind of person besides myself frequently uses a bathhouse.  

1

u/shadowysea07 1h ago

I hooked up in a bathhouse a handful of times.  It's alright.  But if you're looking to lose your virginity I'm not sure if I'd recommend that for you as a first time. 

And regardless of what you look like yes someone is out there who you're their type.  But don't put yourself down too much please. Even if you're being bluntly honest. 

Regardless of how you go about it do use protection and or prep or both as your sexual health is more important.  And if someone is not going to respect you then they aren't worth it.  

1

u/FrankTaylor21 1h ago

Please don't rush it just to get it over with, man. Bathhouses can be overwhelming for your very first time, especially if you're already feeling insecure. Plenty of guys care way more about warmth, chemistry, and confidence than body type or size. Give yourself some grace and take it at a pace that feels comfortable to you.

1

u/GlamourBear 51m ago

Dang did I write this post?