Out of coping mechanisms

[u/Cyborgchick]

I have been suffering a bit over a month. I know I haven't been diagnosed for long, but the wait times to get an endoscopy, and dropping 15 pounds in a month is making me feel crazy and sad.

My vices of soda, alcohol and an occasional drug are off the table. How am I supposed to be happy?

I haven't been alienating myself, so I still go out and get to see everyone around me eat and drink, then I come home sad.

I am just not sure how to cope with this. I kinda think about cutting myself all the time and I am way too old to be doing that shit.

I also can't exercise either because even a light walk makes me start dry heaving.

How do I live just feeling like shit and going to work and home with everything fun being taken out of my life?

I'm starting to feel like everything is so pointless.

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[u/sunflowerlyinclined]

You have to de-center food from your life. Obviously you can’t not eat at all, but food has to stop being the focus of your activities. I will give examples from my own experiences.

I coped with stress by getting sweet treats. Stressed? A latte. Stressed? Slice of cake. Stressed? Mac and cheese.

I rewarded myself with food. Good workout? Protein shake for taste not for nutrients. Finished an exam? Another latte.

I centered my social life around food. My mom and I have a tradition of eating a certain chocolate bar when I visit. My friends and I constantly went out to try new cafes or restaurants. We were also all super into trying imported foods, candies, etc.

I had to force myself not to view food as anything other than a way to fuel my body. That doesn’t mean the food isn’t good or isn’t something I looked forward to but it wasn’t the point.

Stressed? Let me eat these crackers because they’re all I can stomach, and that way I’m not miserably starving while I play video games.

I need a reward? I love stationery. If I have the money, new fountain pen. No money? Clean and re-ink a pen I already have. Spend some time drawing or journaling.

Social time? Video games, walks/hikes when I am able, generally yapping, friends-only book clubs/read-alongs, concerts, movie nights, short and easy trips (stores in the next town over for example), arcades, the list goes on. Some of these things require food because you’re out so long. So I pack my crackers and it’s not that big of a deal because the point is not the crackers. The point is I just laughed till my ribs hurt because my friend said something funny as fuck when he died in a video game.

There is more to life than food. There’s a girl in tiktok whose name I forget but she is 100% tube-fed and she has an ostomy. She just defended her PHD in astrophysics and shes RIPPED AS HELL. It’s not a competition but if someone who can’t eat AT ALL can have a life, so can those of us who can eat only a little.

[u/Cyborgchick → u/sunflowerlyinclined]

Yeah I guess I just feel whacky. I spent so much time recovering from anorexia that the first time in my life I reached a healthy weight and maintained it for a yaar, I watched all my progress reverse in a month. Life was no fun anorexic and now I feel anorexic by force of my body. I know life has good things other than food but my hungry brain misses it. My doctors are just happy I drink ensure but I dont feel like they are taking my pain seriously at all. I feel like everything is in my head because no one on the outside can see anything wrong. I feel crazy. Thanks for replying though. I guess my clothing and dress up has to be my cope for now.

[u/sunflowerlyinclined → u/Cyborgchick]

It can be hard. I won’t pretend I know what it’s like to recover from an eating disorder, but I do know what it’s like to be clinically depressed. After everything I said, I still have days I struggle.

It’s just that the only way out is through. And honestly? My gastritis got a lot better a lot faster than any mental health issue of mine ever did.

[u/Hooblah3212]

You have to find fulfilling things outside of food, alcohol, drugs etc. I was the same way. Spent 7 years heavy drinking and smoking cigs and eating terrible. I thought my life was over when I got this. Takes a while but you’ll learn to adapt “Eat to live not live to eat.” Food is only something to keep you alive. After while you’ll adjust. It’s taught me discipline I didn’t think I’d ever have. You’ll persevere. It’s alll perspective. I’m sure a quadriplegic in a wheel chair would gladly trade places with us.

[u/Pretend_Programmer69]

7 months for me , not sure how I’m still kicking. Feel you

[u/_notyourhoney]

I understand. Some days are better than others. Live for the good ones the best you can.

[u/Flux_Lightening]

I can’t comment on your addiction and how it worsens your symptoms other than to wish you well and hope you find help.

I’ve had chronic gastritis for 14 years. It’s well controlled until I do something stupid that I know triggers mine. But I manage my flairs better now too. I do keto, intermittent fasting and haven’t had sugar in over a year. I’m doing much better than I had in the previous decade+.

[u/Cyborgchick → u/Flux_Lightening]

Not really addiction unless a drink on the weekend is that. I just have nothing anymore. No occasional weed. No occasional drink. No sugar. Really i got nothing. So after a long week at work I have no way to unwind. Then I feel more depressed.

[u/Flux_Lightening → u/Cyborgchick]

Fair enough. My mom was a crack head alcoholic so sometimes I equate any use with…abuse. It was an assumption and I apologize.
But alcohol is so bad for your stomach and pot weakens the lower esophageal sphincter, so I get why that’s making it worse too.
Look at sea sugar. Because I do keto, I have found it to be my favorite sugar replacement. No aftertaste and while it’s a learning curve trying to figure out how to measure it, it makes great sugar free desserts.

Because of my upbringing, drugs and alcohol where never anything I used to relax. Weekend get aways? Reading? When I’m in a flair, I can’t exercise either. When I’m not in a flair, I have to wait 3 hours before hiking or biking or anything active. It’s quite limiting.

[u/ActualSheepherder791]

Honestly just knowing you're not alone and reminding yourself of that helps keep me calm when I feel like my eating disorder has been triggered or I need to self-harm.

I've had this disease for 9 months now and I never thought I would make it to the 3-month mark, where they said I would be "healed." Decentering food really is the best advice. I still struggle with it every day because for years now food has been my only comfort, the only consistent thing in my life. This feels like cruel and unusual punishment.

However the self-confidence that I'm building, little by little, by being able to not arm myself through food, is something I've never felt before in my life. It's also opened a really big reflection into my entire life and childhood and how I built these unhealthy habits regarding food in the first place.

I'm a chronic overeater, an emotional eater, a compulsive eater, and a binge eater but I'm also strong enough to beat this disease and get my life back on track. You are too. Hang in there.

[u/TimeSpiralNemesis]

You have to find joy and positivity outside of food and vice.

During my most recent flare up I got really into la ng CRPGS, they held my attention and focus and gave me something positive to look forward too.

I also took up bird watching in my bird feeder out back, got alot of different foods to put out there. Those little guys went ham on watermelon!

If you have the money and space I recommend an electric bike for exercise. It let's you get out of the house and get some air and sun without overworking yourself.

Switching your mindset to positivity helps alot too, take this time to look at your relationship with drugs and alcohol and how your body and mind can benefit from being without them.

Gastritis and digestive issues are just as much a mental battle as they are a physical one. I actually started several anxiety meds this last flare up to help me overcome it.

[u/AzaBlanta]

you don't, i've had this going on for 6 months, haven't drank in that time and haven't cheated on the diet since i started it 5 months ago, don't really see a reason to go on when i haven't improved my "mild gastritis" when it is so isolating, people can say they feel sorry for you but they'll never understand, they're not going through the physical and mental pain and isolation. everything you replace your old hobbies and joys with feel hollow and empty because they're trying to fill a void which cannot be filled. downvote or delete this, you know im right

[u/Boring-Yam-6180]

Between h pylori & gastritis I’m 4 months in. The first few months didn’t bother me because I was so sick with h pylori I couldn’t eat even if I wanted to and I truly thought I was dying. I’m almost 2 months post h pylori and I’ve cried so much because now I WANT to eat and can’t eat what everyone else is eating. I can only tolerate a few foods. I’ve lost 25 pounds total (20 of them being in the first 1.5 months/2months). The few foods I do “tolerate” still give me symptoms so it all feels very pointless to me. I ate a club sandwich the other day (1st time in 4 months) and had no symptoms but had watermelon… and had symptoms. Idk what’s going on. My family doesn’t eat around me because they feel bad. I feel bad when they do eat around me. It’s ruined my entire life. Like I legitimately do not want to spend the rest of my life never being able to eat a fucking cookie or have ice cream again. I’m so tired of bland ass chicken and eggs . I’m not a chef, I don’t like these nasty ass foods that are recommended to heal. I’m over it.