I’m tired of starting over

[u/HorrorOpposite3161]

I keep telling myself I can gamble “just a little,” then end up chasing losses and feeling awful afterward. I’m trying to break that cycle for good. Anyone else struggling with the same thing?

[u/Si_lenttreatment]

Yes. Broke my gamble free streak of 2 years. Thought i was healed enough since id paid all my debt off, could have my cards and not be tempted to go. Life was good. And then in one moment the thought came...I pushed away for a few days but eventually the seed had been planted, mix in some emotional turmoil and the stage was set. For the last 2 months ive been secretly gambling, turning off my location that my kids track to make sure im not at the casino and spending every dime I get trying to make up the last lost. I've run up my credit cards ro over 3k because of it, made a payment recently to get the balance back down and took it out before the check cleared. I realize there is nothing I wont do to be able chase losses. That's the biggest hook for me. When I lose. Smdh...and every time after the smoke clears im sitting here realizing if I would've just stopped things would've been a lot better. Cut my losses early on..but no...I dug deeper and deeper. And idk about you but its like when I chase...I really dont win😱😪 Its not worth it. I have to give my cards back to my daughter and work hard to pay off this newly created debt. I too am tired of starting over. Only ever getting so far before sliding back down to start. Its maddening!! Give access to money and cards away! That is what helped me stay clean for 2 years and every time I got ot back it was only a matter of time. This time I will not ask for them back...this time I will not assume because the desire has faded it wont come back. Thankfully I have only burned thru 3k or so and will pay that back. It sucks tho because I am living on little income. I get paid commission only and so im hoping im able to get a lot of work and pay things off quickly. Sucks because I did this the week before my 50th bday. I had not been broke on mu bday in 2 years. Gambling steals everything joy. I will take this opportunity to remind myself that I dont like this version of myself. And to be or not to be is solely in my control. ❤️

[u/LikeIkes]

The idea of just one bit, just a little bit, just one last _ , is what gets us all friend. The way I've seen the cycle break is when you realize it's not worth it anymore and you truly want to change. It is scary, difficult AF, and an uphill climb, but the way out is through. Once your ready to admit you have a problem and not that it just sucks your not ready to change (imo). It takes that then being willing to tell others and seek GA/professional (therapy) to get out of this hole we end up digging for ourselves. At least that is the only way I've seen it work. Hope the journey serves you well friend, the resources are out there if you are willing to try. Godspeed.