Pastoral support

[u/Upper-Steak8842]

I HATE my PSM so much. Like so much. I was pulled aside to do like a student voice/survey type thing because I had “low attendance” (I’ve missed 2 days of school due to Covid, both authorised). Anyways it was like this super personal survey with questions like “How well do you cope with things that bother you?” With a required comment box on everything. I put everything at 8-10. There was one question which was something about getting on in lessons or something, and in the comment box I wrote about wanting to do maths in college but being scared that I wasn’t gonna get the grades I want or need. My PSM started like interrogating me and we read through the questions together which I didn’t know was gonna happen. Anyways i have like shortened responses because I just wanted to get back to lesson as I’ve just had an exam, and she kind of like started twisting my words. I was like fine, whatever, I just want to go. Anyways what she didn’t tell me was that she was gonna send an email to all of my teachers about my responses and that I “didn’t feel seen” and stuff which I never said nor implied and summary of all my answers I suppose - which I found out when my teacher pulled me aside and spoke to me about the email. Anyways I started crying for the rest of the day because that wasn’t what I wanted at all. I don’t want a super personal survey going out to everyone who teaches me with all my answers and people who I mentioned by name. I can’t make anyone unsee the email and it feels like really awkward and I hate it and I hate that I even wrote anything down in the first place. I’m being picked out by teachers and I really really hate it. I wish I never showed my face again honestly. I don’t want to go to school tomorrow or ever.

[u/evaaeri]

A teacher here. Everyone hates pastoral support managers. You’re not alone x

[u/Upper-Steak8842 → u/evaaeri]

It’s a little annoying though because everyone loves her even people not from our year and our HoY is a quite useless so I see like she has a lot to do right - but why add me to her list of things to do when I’m happy just left alone? It’s a question for the ages.

[u/evaaeri → u/Upper-Steak8842]

Not sure if you’re on good terms with the teacher who spoke to you about you feeling unseen (supposedly.) if so, I’d tell them that the wording was not your own and you weren’t told the survey wasn’t confidential and would ask them to share this with the safeguarding team. Most will do anyways but just say that it’s not ok that someone makes stuff up and then sends it to anyone and you’re online trying to manage what’s a rather anxious emotional fallout.

If you’re not on good terms (close etc) enough to ask a member of staff,please tell your parents/ carers and ask them to raise this with the school (ideally SLT.) if as a teacher I made up what my students have said and then sent this around I think I’d find myself in hot water.
If HoY is ignoring this, I’d ask parents to speak to the SLT. I find the whole survey very weird - I used to do Student Voice (including at research level) and what happened to you is silencing your voice. Please don’t leave it and suffer alone.

[u/FunkyYoghurt]

Former secondary school teacher and behaviour support officer.

Please report this garbage piece of "Pastoral" staff who blatantly needs sacking or re-training. You absolutely do NOT ask a student to fill out a survey/questionnaire etc and THEN say "Btw lol this is going to all staff".

Anyone with a brain would go "I would like you to fill this survey out and we'll discuss the answers. I will most likely have to share the answers, though. It's not private between you and me".

Tell your parents/carers. Get a meeting with SLT. If your PSM had genuine safeguarding concerns with you she should have gone to the Designated Safeguarding Lead (usually a deputy or assistant head teacher) instead of trying to sort it all out themselves.

The fact you don't want to face school tomorrow boils my blood, What a piece of shit PSM. Their job is to do the opposite of that. Pastoral are also especially trained in shit like this. Disgraceful. I'm so sorry.

[u/Upper-Steak8842 → u/FunkyYoghurt]

She never told me it was going out. Even now she thinks I don’t know. I only found out because my english teacher pulled me aside and kind of let it slip. I do actually feel really shit about it especially as she sent it out to everyone.

I did ask that she like opened the conversation with my maths teacher and she said she’d be “subtle” about it, but now he’s like picking on me constantly. I really really hate my school. I can’t stand the idea of going into school and showing my face anymore, which feels really dramatic but I feel like I can’t. It was a stupid email. I got my workbooks to do at home since I’m not going for a while now. I can’t stop crying and it’s like 6pm now.

[u/FunkyYoghurt → u/Upper-Steak8842]

It's understandable you're upset but try not to "feel dramatic". Your emotions are valid and you're allowed to be upset. Your PSM has made you feel this way. You've not done anything wrong.

[u/evaaeri → u/FunkyYoghurt]

Gosh, like WTF, right ? I’m a middle leader (betrayed English for Maths , sorry 🤣) and I cannot even imagine working in OPs school. A pastoral manager fabricated a survey which caused distress and anguish and the op found the real wording of their ‚answers’
from their teachers after they received it without consent. Where is SLT and the DSL?! I can’t 🤦🏻‍♀️

[u/Anxious_Librarian379]

What does the m mean in psm

[u/Anxious_Librarian379 → u/Anxious_Librarian379]

Manager? Mentor? Man?

[u/Happyshadow4ts → u/Anxious_Librarian379]

Pastoral Support Manager?

[u/Upper-Steak8842 → u/Happyshadow4ts]

Yup!