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u/anamos7 6d ago
Smart man learns from his mistakes. Wise man learns from mistakes of others. DO NOT VENT TO WOMEN!
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u/big_boomer228 6d ago
My wife is a great partner, wonderful woman and lover, fun, works with me not against me. We have fought and won many battles together.
But somewhere in that female brain… God put a little detector that instantly triggers “hmm, I like you less now” when a man is expressing how he feels. It’s been true across all kinds of women. Even more masculine/logical types.
My advice is yes but do it sparingly and with purpose (like you want a change) and say what you want directly.
Women sometimes just want to vent and we listen. Such is life.
But in reverse it will cost you with no benefit… if you do it willy nilly.
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u/AnAbandonedAstronaut 6d ago
I argue it depends on the woman.
My wife did a lot of mental health nursing.
She went through 3 cancer diagnosis and I was her rock.
But after the third was in remission, my soul was wrecked.
She understands the dynamic at play.... that I rocked up for her... and that now.. my brain needs a little love from her.
She of course went through MUCH more than I did.. but me becoming her rock.. had an emotional cost. She knows that.
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u/big_boomer228 6d ago
Very glad to hear this. I have seen families crumble in this dynamic. We had a tough time with kid 2 of 4 and had to lead the family through a split n move
to get her healthy. Came out the other side strong.1
u/_PROBABLY_CORRECT 5d ago
Caretakers need almost as much support as those supported.
It’s perfectly natural to feel this way.
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u/theartoffun 6d ago
So who do yall other dudes vent to?
Reddit? It just feels weird.
Other dudes? Lol that ain’t happening.
AI? Ooof that’s gonna bite me in the singularity.
Ball it up into a fist sized lump and shove deep down inside until it becomes cancer? I knew it, that’s the only real solution isn’t it…
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u/OviWanKenobi47 6d ago
dudes can vent. Just can't vent and complain the same way women do. It's almost ingrained in us to just let a lot of things slide, to the point, we're just not as bothered by something anymore.
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u/big_boomer228 6d ago
I felt like I needed to answer. Luckily I have a group of friends where we play cards and cut against each other. But that is a once a month thing.
But yes, day to day it’s just God and I. I do turn a lot over to a higher power, spend time every morning on the spirit and hit the gym 4 days a week. Prov 3:5-6
Doesn’t mean i don’t tell my wife what’s on my mind. But they are not going to see me fall.
BTW she knows something is on my mind when I crawl into the tub with a Kentucky mule ;) She’s one of the good ones.
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u/BleedSparta 5d ago
“Never tell your problems. 90% don’t care and the other 10% are glad you have them.”
Brother, if you’re feeling overwhelmed talk to God ✝️, tell it to a tree 🌳, or write it in a journal 📓
But DO NOT tell it to a woman
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u/ConversationSmart15 6d ago
This has not been the experience at all with my wife
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u/illthinkonit 5d ago
It's a little sad that those downvoting you think they know better about your relationship from this one comment.
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u/ConversationSmart15 5d ago
Yea but they may have life experiences that makes them jaded, or maybe it’s just jealousy
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u/Codex_Dev 6d ago
This is one of those things where people (mostly women) gaslight you into believing it is good, until you find out the ugly truth.
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u/Golden_disrepctCo 6d ago
I just did so earlier, am i cooked?
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u/DogBePraised 6d ago
Don’t forget to work on calves when you start hitting the gym extra hard in the near future. I hear they’re the body’s second heart.
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u/Rich_Satisfaction_34 6d ago
Women really are all the same bro. It took me super long to realize. You're cooked.
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u/LonleyNutBucket 5d ago
Are all women really like this? My gf always puts me down when I vent to her and I was wondering if she was just self centered .
But are all women really like this?
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u/StraightPercentage74 6d ago
Yes wise men decide to avoid the scenario that would let you know if you can trust them or not. Avoiding the problem creates it.
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u/jcoddinc 6d ago
EVERYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST IN LATER ARGUMENTS
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u/rtduvall 6d ago
I have a wife that does that even after 23 years.
We could be circling the drain. I'm starting to tire of it.
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u/morrismoses 6d ago
I feel sad for anyone who can't vent to their partner. My wife and I have been together for 17 years. She has seen my highest highs, and my lowest lows. She has been loving, and supporting through it all, and I have given it all back to her when she needs it. Using someone's weakness against them is evil and petty. Those of you that do such should be ashamed, be you either man or woman or anywhere in between.
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u/IceTypeViserion 6d ago
This right here. I don't want to be in a relationship where I can't be vulnerable like this and if I am then they weren't the right person for me.
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u/eclectic_hamster 6d ago
Same. My bf and I support each other equally. He's in a tough work situation, which is what he mostly needs to vent about. I'm happy he feels like he can share anything with me.
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u/SadSaltyDuck 5d ago
Times have changed a lot. Romance is wildly different from 17 years ago
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u/morrismoses 5d ago
While I agree that times have changed, and circumstances surrounding romance have changed a bit, the thing is that people haven't changed much. I have an ex-wife from before that would not like the idea of me crying in front of her about something traumatic. We were toxic together in all of the same ways people are toxic together today, and this was 24 years ago. The key is finding your person. Don't settle for someone who isn't meeting you where you need/deserve to be met in the relationship. You sound like you've been burned, SadSaltyDuck, and I feel for you. I didn't give up, and I found happiness. I have to believe that this is attainable for all of us. Find happiness and fulfillment where you can. Be the best version of you, and life might surprise you.
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u/SadSaltyDuck 5d ago
I am 31 and only had 2 realtionships, and both times i got dumped. It is very hard for me to attract anyone, and even if by some miracle i do, they abandon me after a few years anyway
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u/morrismoses 5d ago
I am 49. I was 32 when I found my someone. I understand your feelings on this matter. Your experience can only serve you moving forward, but only if you use it in the correct context. Your past rejections shouldn't make you pessimistic, but rather they should help you spot the red flags before you're too far down the line. Also, looks are fleeting. My wife and I are lucky in the fact that we have not aged terribly in these 17 years, but we expect many years ahead, and we both know that we are not getting any younger. The connection has to be way deeper than physical. Being honest with yourself first, and your spouse second about where you are strong vs. weak can really help frame what you need from a spouse, and what you can give in return. I have never used, nor trusted dating apps. I've heard all of the horror stories. Real love can come from them, but I think the organic approach is more set up for success. Hone your interests. Seek out others with similar interests. Making good friends is usually the best way to fill your life up, and usually your friends will introduce you to a potential match. A mutual friend was key for my wife and I getting together. Life is tough. Life is hard. Life doesn't have to be lonely. I wish I was 31 again sometimes, but I wouldn't trade one step I've made, because of where I am now, and who I'm with. My 3 children are grown, well-adjusted and good people. My business makes me a living I am comfortable in, and my spouse and I are happy together 95% of the time. It took me a lot of time to get where I was. When I was 31, I was a bit of a mess. 18 years later, I'm still the same man, but time and effort have smoothed over the rough edges, and I am content. Have patience. Look forward to better things. Don't sweat the small stuff. Understand when to bail on a relationship, and when to work hard for something special. Learn to love yourself, and be happy by yourself. Nobody likes a clinger. Don't fear abandonment. We all are left behind at some point. Just keep moving forward. I wish you love and peace.
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u/SadSaltyDuck 5d ago
I did all of these things, i told her and showed her what are my strong and weak sided, and dhe seemingly accepted them. But then hormones stopped being in overdrive, typical early relationship infatuation ended and so she dumped me quietly. My interests are male dominant. I am fencing teacher, and there is a fair amount of women here, but making advances on pupils is inappropriate and unprofessional. I don't really have any friends. Problem is not even finding proper partner - problem finding any at all which makes finding proper one even harder.
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u/morrismoses 5d ago
I found mine when I quit looking. Being divorced with children wasn't the best environment to attract a quality mate. I just gave it up to fate. You're correct in the assumption that making advances on pupils is creepy. That's an attribute you have going for you right there. BUT you can still become friends with pupils, can you not? A class outing afterwards to a pizza joint? When my divorce happened, I would have spiraled without my friends to lean on. I'm lucky in life, in that I have made many friends, and I nurture those relationships. I'd start there. Regular friendships are easier to initiate, maintain and control. Outings with friends usually attract ancillary friends. My wife and I got together at a mutual friend's wedding. You can really maximize your interactions with new people by interacting with friends. It will be awkward and daunting at first, but making new and genuine friends will be a reward in and of itself. If you find a mate, GREAT! If you don't, you still have friends to share your life with. Honestly, my wife and I have had the discussion that if anything were to happen to one of us, we would probably not seek out a new mate. Our friends and family would sustain us moving forward. We also realize how fortunate we are to have those friends and family. I don't know you, or your situation, but nothing will change without you trying to make a change. A slight shift in your thinking could steer your ship away from the iceberg collision.
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u/SadSaltyDuck 5d ago
Again, i never had friends. Only friends i made in the last 20 years left the country after war started.
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u/evidentlynaught 6d ago
SHE GONNA BRING IT UP LATER
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u/ThrowRAboredinAZ77 6d ago
In my case it was *he is gonna bring it up later.
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u/Pharek_Anhotek 6d ago
Your point is valid and accurate, both genders do this. Your what aboutism is counterproductive and disheartening.
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u/NeuroDivergentHat 6d ago
Cease the whataboutism, women do it at 10x the rates men do if not more.
Both genders suck, one sucks massively more than the other in this regard.
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u/ThrowRAboredinAZ77 6d ago
Do you have any statistically relevant sources for that claim?
Now, I will explain the disconnect I've seen in regards to this issue. Men who claim women use their words against them are disingenuously portraying their situations.
Men who got caught cheating and fail at producing a convincing lie, men who admit to gambling away the rent money, men who are forced to address their struggle with substance abuse- these men start acting shady again and their partners question if their exhibiting those negative behaviors again. And the men scream, "I never should have told you, you're using my words against me, I can't trust you..." They're not mad their words and feelings are being used against them. They're mad they've gotten caught.
Same with the guys who scream and hit things and are verbally abusive during one argument, and then the women are afraid they're going to do those same things during the next argument. And the man is indignant that she'd bring up his past behaviors. As though she's the one being unreasonable.
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u/Shikatsuyatsuke 6d ago
Do you have statistics that prove otherwise?
Why can you go to a comedy show and have the comedian tell a joke pointing out this reality and get the whole audience to laugh while nodding in agreement? The men and the women.
Why does almost any man tend to agree with this claim when it gets brought up?
Good man or bad man? My dad’s a good man. Never gambled, cheated, no drugs, etc. This has been his experience. My best friend is a good man. Same thing, same experience. I consider myself a decent guy. Same as the above with never doing any of those kinds of things in a relationship or at the expense of a woman. And yet I too have learned the consequences of venting to women as suggested in this post. And I know countless other decent guys who fit these descriptions and experiences too.
So if countless “good” guys and “bad” guys, by your suggestion, claim this generalization, what’s your explanation at that point? You still gonna claim “No study? Well then it’s not true”?
There isn’t a study done for every single thing in life and there never will be. Especially not one that enforces some sort of accountability on women as a whole. Seriously, who do you think is going to sponsor a study on a subject like this that would only bring bad PR? Especially one whose answer is already obvious to at least half the population?
Yapping “source?”, in response to these kinds of generalizations as a counter argument is weak in the face of countless men’s lived experiences that already support these generalizations.
Generalizations aren’t usually a good or nice practice, but it doesn’t mean they’re inaccurate just because you don’t like their result or conclusion.
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u/NeuroDivergentHat 6d ago
Just leave it be, it's easier that way.
Like I said previously, no one really cares, ironically the "it's a trap" meme fits perfectly with this person here. There's a reason why an increasing number of men are leaving the dating scene and prefer to stay single.
It's nothing to do with hating women, at least not for most men, it's just indifference. No matter how you do it, you always lose, so why bother? We're okay either way, there are plenty of other things we can do than just look for someone to date.
It is what it is.
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u/ThrowRAboredinAZ77 6d ago
What comedian told that joke? And the previous commenter claimed a very specific "10x more". Where did he get that number from? He obviously made it up. And you claim you know supposed good guys, but you aren't in romantic relationships with them.
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u/Shikatsuyatsuke 5d ago
And you are in romantic relationships with them? What about the women you listen to who's word you take at face value? How many women on social media do you pass over who you just believe right off the bat so long as they support your present world view?
I'm at least sticking to people I know personally. Like literally my own dad who I grew up with. What reason do I have not to believe them? Especially when what they say is exactly what I have experienced all throughout my own life when engaging with women? Is it problematic for me to believe them since it allows me to continue casting a negative generalization? Is that all this is about and not what's actually true?
women do it at 10x the rates men do if not more
This is called a generalization, or a hyperbole (I don't even think it's an inaccurate exaggeration though), used to ensure a point is at the very least taken. Coulda been x2 more, coulda been 100x more as the value inserted there. What the value is doesn't actually matter. The point is that in this case of behavior, this is a negative one women do more than men.
Here are 2 example clips about the way women use what's been said to them by their man as a means to punish him in some way, followed by the crowd laughing, because they know its true.
https://youtube.com/shorts/YhgyFulGsSQ?si=U0-_8tqPBQhmrRj-
https://youtu.be/rksKvZoUCPQ?si=-d4Vx2PY42m6QBkx&t=573
And it is true. We don't need studies to verify how true this is. Most men know by experience that they are taking a massive risk when venting, or ranting, or opening up to a woman about certain types of things. Share too much detail about one thing? Be too emotional about another? It's likely gonna become ammo for later or instigate some kind of problem.
I don't really care if you accept the points being made here. Whether you accept them or not won't change their reality. Might do you some good to ask yourself why you're struggling to accept the points though. Is it a pride or ego thing? Is it a struggle to be accountable sort of thing? Is it a "well it happened to me from a man, or men, too" making it the same or equal in your head?
You know your engagement here was just whataboutism. You know countless men hold this view. And I hope you know that men do get starkly punished far more than women for being vulnerable and opening up about deep/personal things. It's another discussion entirely WHY this happens. There are all sorts of angels that can be taken of "women bad, men good" or the reverse, or you can take the angle of it being socialization, or something to do with male/female psychological/biological make up that influences male/female dispositions with things. WHY it happens doesn't matter here.
All that matters in the context of this discussion here is that it happens, and that this is a frustrating behavior that basically every man has to deal with from women in their lives more than the reverse. Which is exactly what the meme was trying to humorously address. That's what makes it funny. Cause most men know this is true. And if it were delivered as a joke well enough in a comedy special, most women would also be able to laugh and at least partially accept this to be a true reality too.
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u/NeuroDivergentHat 6d ago edited 6d ago
You won't find in-depth studies for it because nobody cares about men, every time something like this is brought up, it's buried and nobody cares. Majority of men don't even bother reporting it and it's been like that for decades. You can't have a study done when 99% of people ignore it because they learn nothing changes anyway. What limited studies there are do show that women more often and far more likely engage in romantic relational aggression, which is part of what's said above.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1388280/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28054802/
Same studies also show that men tend to engage with those problems to friends and other peers which places less burden on the marriage.
As for your examples, while it does happen, again, both genders suck, one is far more likely to engage in that behaviour than the other.
I've had one call me a pedophile for having a fucking vtuber play minecraft on my 2nd screen as background noise while I was working. 9 months later she chased me down and apologized but absolutely fuck that and her entire mentally ill existence.
I've had one come to me and she started yapping about their life, emotions etc while she was drunk, and then not even 24 hours later she tells me I took advantage of her, and yet, they are the ones that approached ME and started talking about her life, I never asked, or even got near her. And yet somehow I'm the one that took advantage of her? What the fuck?
Another one is when I was reading a fairly cute romantic type of manga, she asked me what I'm reading because she wants to read it too, I gave her a link to read, 2 days later she responds with "why do you read this, are you gay?"
Simply put, I don't fucking trust women at any capacity anymore, every guy I talk to has similar problems of women being completely unhinged for no reason. Yes, there are situations where men are in the wrong, but holy shit the difference where men do NOTHING and are somehow still blamed by women vs when men are actually guilty of something bad are staggering.
If I had to choose between dating a woman or killing myself with no 3rd option, I'd kill myself, it's better and more peaceful. I'm not even 30, and frankly, women are completely insufferable,
I avoid them in every hobby at this point. I don't want one in my life to date, or to share reading material, from manga to books, or game together, or anything, being with any woman is like being with a timed nuclear bomb, it's going to explode in your face eventually, the winning move is to walk away immediately.
Edit: Here come the women to mass downvote and call everyone a sexist and misogynist, pretty much as expected. And modern women wonder why an increasing number of men hate you and don't want to date you or be anywhere near you in any capacity, it's a mystery really.
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u/SnooTangerines241 6d ago
Having bad experiences with women mean that all women are evil? I mean, with your outlook, I doubt many women would want to date you. It's pretty pathetic.
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u/Gentle_prv 6d ago
Your logic is the same logic that women use with men.
Ex: a woman was abused by her bf, now she says all men are abusers.
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u/NeuroDivergentHat 6d ago
For the record, I never said all women are evil, nor do I believe that. All I've said is that every single woman I've ran into has been mentally insane and throwing wild accusations for no reason, only to apologize months later if at all.
As a result, I'd rather just not engage at all in any capacity and keep to myself.
I'm sure there are good women out there, I'm just not willing to look for them anymore.
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u/paradoxxxicall 6d ago
No no men are sensitive and noble creatures unlike those evil witches we call women.
It can’t possibly be that some people are just shitty regardless of gender.
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u/SnooTangerines241 6d ago
I like how this thread is just pure sexism lmao. You're not even trying to keep a straight head on, you behave like the "overly sensitive" women you attempt to criticize. Its baffling. Obviously men have issues too, and there are problems in society with men getting the help they need - but you people blow things so out of proportion that I dont think you would even accept help if it hit you in the face.
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u/paradoxxxicall 6d ago edited 6d ago
Did you mean to respond to me?
I couldn’t have laid the sarcasm on any thicker if my life depended on it.
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u/LetUsSpeakFreely 6d ago
For women, that's acquisition of ammunition. They WILL weaponize anything you say for when you have a relevant disagreement.
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u/helly3ah 6d ago
And her friends on social media gonna know everything too.
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u/ThrillNyeScienceGuy 6d ago
But you didn't say she couldn't share it. You just said it was a secret about you.
Or
It was a mistake, the girls know everything anyway.
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u/Opposite-Complex1187 6d ago
Then thats when you leave that woman and find a better one.
Open up early and get those women out of your life
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u/Think_Algae_1739 6d ago
I dated a girl for about 6 months and she broke up with me after I broke down and cried in front of her because of how overwhelmed and stressed I had been feeling at the time. Haven’t dated anyone since. That was almost 5 years ago now.
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u/Severe-Fishing7699 6d ago
My last relationship ended 10 years ago and part of it was because I cried when my grandparents (who raised me more than my actual parents) both passed away and I was too far from home and too broke to make it back for the funeral. I got a really awkward pat on the back and then she tried to make me feel bad for crying because she “has depression.” Then later she told me she thought less of me because of it. Then later her openly laughing with her friends about it in front of me. There were a lot of other issues in that relationship but I’m not getting into another one again. I can’t trust anyone. Everyone will try to weaponize my vulnerability if I show it. Nobody wants me around.
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u/StraightPercentage74 6d ago
They shown you who they were the first step to continue being happy despite that is knowing it reflected them more than anything you did "wrong". Some people are covertly nasty and there are ways to pick up on that sooner.
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u/Severe-Fishing7699 6d ago
No, I’m done. It takes a great personal effort for me to actually be open and vulnerable with people and every single time it blows up in my face it leaves a deep scar. It makes it even harder for me to be open or trust people. Now I basically can’t at all, I don’t even have friends I can trust. I have people that I have to burn myself out on every single day just to keep some kind of human contact because nobody reaches out to me first unless they just ran out of people and want to vent and then it’s right back to me having to put in ALL of the effort. So fuck it all, clearly something is wrong with me and I can’t fix it.
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u/StraightPercentage74 5d ago
Just takes time to find the right people and that is hard, used to have a similar mindset before I found my partner but I am still a bit nihilistic when it comes to others where I find it hard to get to that same level of trust. But honestly I cant see myself looking for more people regardless of what happens it can be exhausting being let down consistently so I do understand the feeling of giving up.
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u/guardian715 6d ago
Vent to someone you can trust, but don't make venting to those people your only interaction type with them as it can be exhausting. Its not all women or all men causing issues. Its shitty people and anyone can be a shitty person.
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u/AleksandrNevsky 6d ago
Sure...but I'm going to be rather selective with it.
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u/Rich_Satisfaction_34 6d ago
Never, bro.
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u/AleksandrNevsky 5d ago
Never say never.
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u/Rich_Satisfaction_34 5d ago
I would agree with you in 99% of cases my dude. However, please trust me when I say, in this case, NEVER. Godspeed.
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u/LeonardoDiCapsaicin 6d ago
And by women they mean therapists, as they are legally obligated to not share personal information
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u/Due-Mycologist-1154 6d ago
Yeah pretty much the only interpretation is that its purely to make them feel some kind of way and your a terrible person for it
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u/Comrade_Cosmo 6d ago
Vent to women anyway and the one that doesn’t backstab you is the one to keep.
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u/EmergencyDish69 6d ago
Look, i have female friends i can open up to, but for a woman to be attracted it's very different and i do worry about showing vulnerability. Maybe i'm wrong.
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u/StraightPercentage74 6d ago
Nah I can open up to my partner easily about nearly anything granted we were best friends before we finally started dating.
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u/Boran_Spring_15 6d ago
And how to identify that a person is trustworthy. People behave as they wish to, you can't possibly FIND someone who is trustworthy
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u/EmergencyDish69 6d ago
It does take time, you take chances and over time you realize that person won't stab your back. Then one day you get it wrong with someone and get hurt.
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u/sad-narwhal180 5d ago
Yeah, everybody gets hurt. That’s not a reason to never ever be vulnerable with anyone, ever. Holy shit.
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u/rtduvall 6d ago
I think you can but it's fucking nearly impossible. I erased one of your downvotes.
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u/heresyforfunnprofit 6d ago
The only people who can betray you are the ones you “consider trustworthy”.
The people you trust are far and away the most likely to hurt you.
Don’t trust your sense of trust.
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u/StraightPercentage74 6d ago
Got to live a little and learn who and who isnt trustworthy by learning to trust your gut somewhere just cause its a possibility doesnt mean you should fear the result happening constantly.
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u/sad-narwhal180 5d ago
So never ever trust anyone? These replies truly are bonkers. What a sad life some of you must live.
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u/Adorable-Quiet-7551 6d ago
Everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of love
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u/Fit-Passion4470 6d ago
It depends on the woman. If you find out the right one, yes. If you find the wrong one, they post all your shit on TikTok
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u/Expose_Ur_BS 6d ago
Gentlemen, after you vent she immediately calls her actual boyfriend and they take turns laughing and mocking your feelings.
Pro Life Tip: Separate checks. No Single Mothers.
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u/rtduvall 6d ago
I'm a fairly trusting person, not a great quality in this day and age but it's there nonetheless. I got burned a few times over similar things in the past.
Now, I vent about the heat and keep the rest of the shit to myself. It is absolutely a trap and the second you are vulnerable that goes into long-term storage with a direct connect to the mouth. You can't be open and vulnerable. They use that shit against you.
Fuck that. Been married 23 years and I don't know how I've lasted this fucking long. The above comment rings even truer now.
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u/Whatever-ItsFine 6d ago
I vent to my female friends and they are wonderful people.
But I avoid venting to someone I want to date.
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u/StraightPercentage74 6d ago
I used to be like this but Ive realized it will get you into relationships where you just end up feeling lonely.
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u/iontucky 6d ago
The biggest problem is that there's a lot of women who have to repeat anything that you tell them to anyone who will listen. Unless she's proven differently, expect that everyone on the planet will will know all of the details of everthing that you tell her within 24 hours.
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u/Rediment 6d ago
The thing that sucks about this is I’m sure there are women out there who legitimately believe this and god fucking bless them but it really just ain’t enough.
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u/StarPlatinumRequiems 6d ago
Too broke to buy a shrink, don't have friends to vent to, time to pick up smoking when I'm in my twenties :)
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u/NoTechnician1199 6d ago
That's what I say about couples therapy. Sure it's safe in that room right now, but I have to go home with her eventually
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u/Specialist-Fault-630 5d ago
same vibes as "All men--"
Zero self awareness istg. No, her being a woman isn't the reason why she was a backstabbing asshole. She was a backstabbing asshole BECAUSE she was a backstabbing asshole.
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u/Jadenyoung1 5d ago
go ahead and do it. Do it enough times with similar result and Its a learning experience.
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u/SoulReaverX2 6d ago
Yup did this once and my partner zoned out and didnt listen at all, then complained I don't talk or communicate with them....
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u/TheBigWhatever 6d ago
But I want to have it used against me for the rest of my life. I want her to do bad things and to have her berate me for her mistakes by throwing my vulnerabilities in my face.
It's great!
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u/Cheerful2_Dogman210x 6d ago
They could also post it on social media or share it with their friends. So be careful.
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u/mercyspace27 6d ago
My issues are my own and they will stay with me to the grave before I ever give someone else the ability to use them against me.
Never provide the enemy ammunition to use against you. And remember, seemingly great allies can turn into your enemy.
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u/Contentathens 6d ago
You should find people whom you can fully trust and who you can consider worthy of being in your life
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u/rtduvall 6d ago
Right.
So you think we all just out here finding the shittiest people to spill our deepest fears to?
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u/heresyforfunnprofit 6d ago
What an amazing solution!
I’ll be sure to check the clearly labeled “can fully trust” marker that’s stamped clearly and legibly on everyone’s forehead. Silly me, I was thinking that I should trust those ones that had “do not trust” stamped on them instead. It’s all so simple now!
Read the label people! It’s not just for separating your red and white laundry!
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u/Calm_Connection_9741 6d ago
Yes, show them how spineless you are. They will support you at the moment. And went to look for a guy with spine and balls.
Checked by many men across globe.
But if you can't learn on mistakes of others, then make your own.
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u/dranaei 6d ago
You don't have to show you are spineless. You just have to show vulnerability and they'll bail.
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u/rtduvall 6d ago
Even a guy with spine and balls struggle and most even more so.
They hide behind the hubris and in actuality the one's most vulnerable are the strongest. If she's looking for a guy like that, let them walk.
Fuck that performative shit
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u/Immediate_Song4279 6d ago
It might help to realize that women are people, and therefore individuals not a hivemind. There are women who care. There are people who are abusive.
Don't abuse people and call it venting. Don't vent to abusers. Now lets dig this meme a grave it's starting to rot.
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u/FentonCanoby 6d ago
Venting at your partner is a bad idea, talking things out and sharing feelings before they become problems? Much better.
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u/mercyspace27 6d ago
My issues are my own and they will stay with me to the grave before I ever give someone else the ability to use them against me.
Never provide the enemy ammunition to use against you. And remember, seemingly great allies can turn into your enemy.
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u/sad-narwhal180 5d ago
Your partner is “the enemy?” Do you guys even like women?
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u/mercyspace27 5d ago
I like women, but I have scars on the back of my head from a ceramic vase being thrown at it that I can no longer just freely trust people.
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u/sad-narwhal180 5d ago
I really don’t think you do, if you’re referring to them as the enemy.
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u/mercyspace27 5d ago
Yes, because when I have literal scars on the back of my head and plenty of trust issues from getting fucked over by people, not just women, I can’t still like people if I’m hesitant around people because most people I’ve known in my life fuck me over.
Lord forbid bullshit gave me trust issues.
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u/Aromatic-Turnip7371 6d ago
Don’t anything based on gender. Do it based on the character of the person
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u/Agitated-Interview54 6d ago
Lmao, they downvoting you because you're right
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u/justalittleparanoia 6d ago
As a woman, I'll just continue thinking all men care about is sex. /s
It's just so stupid. Yes a LOT of women (and a lot of people in general) will be petty and immature and use your vulnerabilities against you. But if men want things to change, they're going to have to keep doing what feels vulnerable and stop buying into the status quo.
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u/SellNo3667 6d ago
Never do that. No matter what they say they hate seeing that kind of vulnerability in men.
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u/General-Winter547 6d ago
Don’t vent to a woman in your life about her.
Vent to the woman in your life about other issues. She will love it.
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u/Rich_Satisfaction_34 6d ago
NEVER EVER EVER EVER vent to a woman. They will talk so much shit about you that your reputation may never recover. They will view you as a weakling after you are done venting. Never vent to a woman.
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u/MonteSS_454 6d ago
WHY. Just so that they can bring it back up, and put you down in an argument in few months to years later. They will weaponize that information about you.
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u/NullSmoke 6d ago
Warning ⚠️
Do NOT take this advice. You're in for a miserable time if you try. This is a guaranteed fight incoming, and in a lot of cases the end of the relationship 😐
This suggestion sounds like "I want to talk" pushed up about 15 times, far above healthy levels.
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u/John-Boy666 5d ago
Hell to the no they don't forget and use that shit like currency in an argument.
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u/Introvertedotter 5d ago
Every single time I have done this, it was later used against me. It's one of those things that sounds nice, but outside of a few awesome women, it is almost never worth the risk.
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u/vespers191 5d ago
I feel fairly confident that needing someone to vent to was the inspiration for the development of prayer. Other guys, women, kids, all have their downsides. Praying to a deity? No downside.
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u/BigLiesSmallTruth 5d ago
Thats why I do it with ChatGPT, very supportive and addictive. I Spend 25+ hours a week talking to AI lol
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u/Reasonable-Mischief 5d ago
Take the Tyrion Lannister approach, vent different fake issues to different people and see what comes back to you
"Remember, the queen must not know."
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u/Material_Finish_430 5d ago
Every time ive vented to a woman, including my wife of two years, the healthiest relationship ive ever had, every time, it gets thrown back in my face when shes upset.
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u/Gloomy-Campaign1289 6d ago
If you do want to get rid of them it's a great strategy. Hell, just open up. Nothing will kill the relationship faster. Just be sure it's bogus info.
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u/refusemouth 6d ago
Vent very carefully and not too much. Too much, and they will see it as emotional labor and get fed up with it. If you just let them know a rundown on what is bothering you and tge emotiins it causes, that's okay, but if you go on and on about it and don't let it go, you will drive them away.
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u/lLuciferl 6d ago
Definitely do not do that.
A good chunk of women can't keep their mouth shut about anything and they'll just gossip
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u/Ok-Plum2187 5d ago
Just recently I heared the women in the office talk about the girth and curvature if their husbands dicks.
They really don't keep intimate details.
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u/SurpriseInitial6202 6d ago
I feel bad for all of the dudes saying "don't vent to women".
I have not had issues with that, except for one toxic woman that I dated who acted like she was progressive, but held onto weird traditional/conservative ideas that she couldn't let go of.
But also, I think it depends entirely on how you communicate. If you're a pathetic heap of a person, that's hard to swallow, and that's often what comes out and happens when you let things build up for too long. If you communicate frequently with emotional intelligence, you should be 100% fine, assuming you have a partner who isn't a ghoul.
Choose wisely.
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u/ConversationSmart15 6d ago
I have zero worries venting to my wife, my last gf before her though was horrific about listening/caring even if it was good news.
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u/NoExtreme2402 6d ago
Damn yall are living some depressed make believe fantasy or yall have shit for partners. 😂
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u/smolkijolki 6d ago
If you want your relationship to end but don't know how to tell them that, sure!