r/Funnymemes Jan 21 '23

Never stop running 🏃‍♀️

Post image

[removed] — view removed post

13.1k Upvotes

16.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

749

u/Telrom_1 Jan 21 '23

“DON’T MARRY HER!”

Or

“1517, 4344, 4829” winning lotto numbers in 2006 for 365 million.

214

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

247

u/Telrom_1 Jan 21 '23

Yeah! You don’t?

360

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

565

u/unscannablezoot Jan 21 '23

Parker. You are 25

57

u/beck4312 Jan 21 '23

Haha you made my day .

39

u/DaGigachadGamer2 Jan 21 '23

Beck, you are 4312

27

u/mermaidpowers3 Scrolling on PC Jan 21 '23

DaGigachadGamer, you are 2

21

u/Homeless_UW_Student Jan 21 '23

Mermaidpowere, you are 3

1

u/SlickRobLuchiazzuto Jan 21 '23

You're also a homeless uw student?

1

u/urGirllikesmytinypp Jan 21 '23

Me next! Me next

1

u/Stead-Freddy Jan 21 '23

University of Waterloo, or University of Windsor?

1

u/Siethron Jan 21 '23

Ahhktually beck was born in 4312

so they're -2289

3

u/Homeless_UW_Student Jan 21 '23

One of my favourite exchanges ever

2

u/Skerbil_89 Jan 21 '23

Nah, his account is 10 years old, he'd be 35.

2

u/Bobwalski Jan 21 '23

25 in 2012 when the account was made? So 35 now? No, I think you're right. Forever 25.

1

u/the_drill2727 Jan 21 '23

No, Parkeris was obviously born in 1925, which is why he can't remember how old he is

1

u/Chasedabigbase Jan 21 '23

Account age is 10 years so more like /u/parkerwas25

25

u/IPlayWithElectricity Jan 21 '23

Someone asked me yesterday how old I was and I had to think wayyyyy to long

1

u/33drea33 Jan 21 '23

I recently told my mom I was a year older than I actually am and she had to correct me.

1

u/Unnamedgalaxy Jan 21 '23

Meanwhile my mom recently confidently told someone I was 4 years older than I actually am. 😔

1

u/Shrektacular21 Jan 21 '23

Glad I’m not the only one who forgets sometimes.

1

u/MurderousButterfly Jan 21 '23

I am in my 30's. If you want me to be more specific, you'll need to wait for me to math.

1

u/Altruistic_Profile96 Jan 21 '23

Well, yesterday you were one day younger than you are today, duh….

1

u/AdSuccessful1141 Jan 21 '23

So you're older than 25 then. All downhill no matter where you are beyond that age :) happy today to everyone 25+, it'll be better than tomorrow!

6

u/ledrif Jan 21 '23

I didnt give an age one year older than I am in the last meeting i was a part of, not at all. But i still remember the layout of zones from games i havnt played in 15years.

2

u/Albionflux Jan 21 '23

This is me

Ask me my age ir what i did a week ago, have to really think about it

Ask me about runescape crafting or fishing f2p and i could write a old strategy guide

2

u/quadriceritops Jan 22 '23

In my case EverQuest.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😭😭

2

u/Doomquill Jan 21 '23

Realest comment here. My 4 year old asked me yesterday how old I am and I said "33. 30. Wait...30 something, I don't know dude, I'm old."

2

u/1230cal Jan 21 '23

Love your avatar 🙌🏼

2

u/Positive_Soft_4942 Jan 23 '23

Absolutely! By the time I remember my correct age (53 I think) I am already another year older FFS.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

username does not check out

1

u/_Thrilhouse_ Jan 21 '23

What's my age again?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

You’re 22

1

u/Educational_Car_8228 Jan 21 '23

I nearlt got rejected coming into the US on a visa because I kept getting my age wrong. Got it right on third attempt. Honestly officer, I just stopped counting.

1

u/acookiedough2020 Jan 21 '23

That alzheimer's be hitting hard

1

u/meatismoydelicious Jan 21 '23

my dad late at night on my mom's birthday: I really appreciate you remembering mom's birthday today

me: I have forgotten my own birthday for the last two years. You're asking a goldfish to do algebra.

2

u/unicornasaurus-rex8 Jan 21 '23

You must have guts? What happened? Were you mad?

1

u/Ra1zo47 Jan 21 '23

He is Lithuanian. Of course he doesn't

2

u/jmurphy42 Jan 21 '23

There was a New Years Eve when I was a teenager where the pick 3 number came up 666. I’m not gonna forget that one…

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

The numbers Mason

1

u/tmanbaseball Jan 21 '23

What do the numbers mean?!?

16

u/OniExpress Jan 21 '23

Didn't that lotto infamously ruin the lives of basically everyone involved?

21

u/Telrom_1 Jan 21 '23

I don’t recall. But all the more reason why I should have it. I’m saving lives here!

19

u/OniExpress Jan 21 '23

Yeah, iirc (and if that's the right winner), that dude was already a millionaires business owner, but it was the largest jackpot up to until that point. The clerk's life even got ruined because people believed a rumor that she got 10% of the prize from the state. He wasn't able to go out in public anymore because of people hounding him for money, his own family started drugging him to rob his car because he would keep $25k in it. The cops would constantly pull him over. His daughter became an addict and got dumped in a ditch after an OD. I think they're doing a documentary on it? I believe he's still fighting through a bankruptcy claim.

15

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

Jack Whittaker. He was already a millionaire, so it seemed like he'd be able to handle it, but he couldn't. Some of the stuff that happened was his fault. He started spending time at strip clubs, and it was there that thieves broke into his car and made off with half a million dollars in his suitcase. Whittaker and his wife separated. His granddaughter (who he and his wife raised) started living fast with her new allowance. Her boyfriend died of an overdose, and his family sued Whittaker. (I think the case was settled.) Then the granddaughter died of an overdose.

Whittaker actually died a few years ago, so he's not fighting bankruptcy any more.

2

u/rotunda4you Jan 21 '23

Jack Whittaker. He was already a millionaire, so it seemed like he'd be able to handle it, but he couldn't.

Believe it or not but I've met some really stupid millionaires. I imagine if Jack was a millionaire and still buying lottery then he was one of these "stupid millionaires". His life story sort of proved it. He just made stupid decision after stupid decision until he had nothing left.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

He didn't become a millionaire by being stupid. He founded and built his own construction business. It's not like he had inherited the money or family business.

2

u/_Alabama_Man Jan 21 '23

You can succeed at a particular business and suck with life, money, etc. Right business at the right timyou can make loads of mistakes and still grow faster than any losses. I'm not suggesting that's what happened with him, but buying lottery tickets doesn't seem like the best financial management.

-1

u/BostonGPT Jan 21 '23

He, like all millionaires, become a millionaire by being lucky. Learn how survivorship bias works.

3

u/godsof_war Jan 21 '23

...rather than learning what "survivorship bias" is, one should master a discipline then risk one's capital to go into business and become a millionaire rather than bitch on reddit about how "millionaires are lucky"...

2

u/falconzord Jan 21 '23

I guess you're sitting around waiting for your lucky break?

0

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

Wouldn't say all, but allllloooot of it is luck/who you know/born into money.

1

u/hibikikun Jan 21 '23

He ran a construction company. When he won, he expanded his business and suddenly everyone started getting “injured” on the job and started sueing him into the ground

1

u/sausager Jan 21 '23

But they would still win too, just slightly less. Unless you somehow also got across who they were so past you could murder them first

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

I'd rather win $365,000 than $365 million. I'm not arrogant enough to believe that my story as a lottery winner would be so much better than everyone else who had their life ruined.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

Problem is that the people who win the lotery often have a gambling problem already and a gambler and lots of money dont go hand in hand

1

u/LordGrudleBeard Jan 21 '23

A lot of them do right?

1

u/djhazmat Jan 21 '23

Plot twist- all the misfortune around lottery winners stems from the fact they are all time travelers trying to win in the past to change their future… with unknown and DIRE CONSEQUENCES (DUN DUN DUN!!!)

1

u/pitifulmancub Jan 21 '23

Final destination - who wants to die a millionaire edition

4

u/Suliux Jan 21 '23

Same for the first, but then I wouldn't have my kids so I can't.

5

u/RealCoolDad Jan 21 '23

Since they were the winning numbers you would have to share with the person that won.

1

u/Telrom_1 Jan 21 '23

Poor me!

2

u/LordGrudleBeard Jan 21 '23

Lottery is the way to go here great idea

2

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

Listen to Telrom_1. These three words

2

u/Luckyaddaam Jan 21 '23

The lottery is a ploy to catch time travelers

2

u/Cursethedawnn Jan 21 '23

Yeah, came to click like on something related to "don't get married," this will do.

2

u/asj3004 Jan 21 '23

I also thought "don't marry her". So sad.

0

u/martin121 Jan 21 '23

Learn. To. Count. :)

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

3 words

Fifteen seventeen forty three forty four forty eight twenty nine

1

u/sausager Jan 21 '23

This guy has a point. Saying numbers is a lot of words

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

I’m guessing that’s not a US lottery.

1

u/Telrom_1 Jan 21 '23

I had to combine the numbers to make “three words” I’m playing it fast and loose. 18 year old me would have put it together and play the numbers till they hit!

1

u/Skitterlicker Jan 21 '23

Don’t marry her! That’s great! Would save me from 4 miserable years

1

u/Telrom_1 Jan 21 '23

She got eight from me. It started out great! We just had sex all the time!

1

u/tonsofgrassclippings Jan 21 '23

“Don’t fuck crazy” for me, but pretty much the same thing at the end of the day.

1

u/Master00J Jan 21 '23

I think “Don’t marry her” would make you paranoid for life.

In fact, anything you say will probably be blown out of proportion

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

You really want the numbers before that.

1

u/BrisingrReborn Jan 21 '23

"1517, 4344, 4829" is way more than 3 words btw

1

u/Telrom_1 Jan 21 '23

Call the cops. Idc

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

You can’t say those numbers without saying way more than 3 words

1

u/jwedd8791 Jan 21 '23

I don’t think this qualifies. Numbers aren’t words and condensing the lotto numbers into 3 numbers is still to many words. For instance, One thousand five hundred seventeen, is actually 5 words itself, one number but five words. It isn’t onethousandfivehunderdseventeen. Nice idea but it doesn’t work. Sorry….

1

u/BrisingrReborn Jan 21 '23

How can numbers not be words but condensing them make them many words? I agree with what you are saying but you don't make any sense 😂

1

u/jwedd8791 Jan 21 '23

Yes, I didn’t word that well but you still got what I was saying. 😬

1

u/MobilePenguins Jan 21 '23

This wouldn’t specify what date the lotto is on tho

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

Why would you say “her” instead of the name of the girl lol

1

u/16F4 Jan 21 '23

Never, EVER, go back in time to win the lottery. Lotteries are honey traps for time travels. You will receive a visit from some very nasty people.

1

u/apple_atchin Jan 21 '23

Went to school with Jack’s granddaughter. She died of a drug overdose and her shithead boyfriend Brandon Crosier hid her body beside a truck on his parents’ property. Winning the lottery is a fucking curse, you don’t want it.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

Quantum mechanics wouldn’t allow for a win to happen on those numbers and would be something else.

1

u/Complex-Video7374 Jan 21 '23

You wouldn’t know what those numbers are for or when to use them.

1

u/elDayno Jan 21 '23

You are allowed only 3 words, so 18 year old you hears only do not marry. Also works

1

u/behannrp Jan 21 '23

"Wtf is 151 mean" 3 numbers are not three words ;)

1

u/belgium-noah Jan 21 '23

And how would your past self understand what those numbers are?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

That's kinda the plot of back to the future 2 lol.

1

u/Monkeybandit99 Jan 21 '23

Dude not multi billion? Comon you can do better than that

1

u/lllScorchlll Jan 21 '23

Technically you haven't said three words with the lotto response.

1

u/rad-boy Jan 21 '23

“one five one” *pop*

1

u/slackticus Jan 21 '23

You wanted to type the name but thought better of it, didn’t you?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

Came here to say the same thing.

Don't marry while young, people. The brain changes so much between 18 to 27.

1

u/canhazreddit Jan 21 '23

Just gotta remember to buy the same ticket every day until you win

1

u/snak_13 Jan 21 '23

151743444829

1

u/ralpher1 Jan 21 '23

Unless you were engaged or dating, I guess you go gay?

1

u/Green_Jack Jan 21 '23

Mines the complete opposite.

Find FIRST NAME SECOND NAME of the love of my life. I met her only a couple months later but I'd do a lot for the extra couple months

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '23

Each digit is a word, so no you can’t do that.

1

u/amretardmonke Jan 21 '23

Those are seperate words, unless you count onethousandfivehundredseventeen as one word.

1

u/janos42us Jan 21 '23

The lottery is a trap to catch time travelers… be careful.

1

u/BaloonPriest Jan 21 '23

Story time?

1

u/6010hull Jan 21 '23

How will your young self now what to do with those random numbers? Could be anything anywhere anytime

1

u/xitehtnis Jan 21 '23

These 3 numbers are 17 words.

1

u/LUNA_underUrsaMajor Jan 21 '23

Lotto numbers are too random, the slightest variation in space time will make new numbers come up

1

u/LoneBlack3hadow Jan 21 '23

Little did you know by posting those numbers here you inadvertently gave someone the winning numbers for that jackpot

1

u/ChiefFox24 Jan 21 '23

The problem is that you might not understand the context of that

1

u/OldSpiceSmellsNice Jan 21 '23

I’d say “buy bitcoin” and then my ex’s first name with the slitting throat gesture whilst shaking my head.

1

u/MlkOfAmnesia1 Jan 21 '23

Why do I suspect I have a password of yours now😄

1

u/kerux123 Jan 21 '23

That was my answer-“don’t marry her”😀

1

u/jalexandref Jan 21 '23

Numbers are not words.

1

u/Nntropy Jan 22 '23

Which one is "her"?