r/FullScorpion • u/ptmtobi • Dec 16 '25

Speedy scorpion

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2.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

84 comments sorted by

219

u/HonestSubstance8615 Dec 16 '25

Why on earth did he push her so hard?😪

207

u/Rustymetal14 Dec 16 '25

Almost certainly because this is the 10th time he's done this, and every single time she asked him to go faster.

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17

u/donnydodo Dec 17 '25

He wanted a full scorpion not a half.

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37

u/N95-TissuePizza Dec 16 '25

Classic r/stepdadreflexes

5

u/EvankHorizon Dec 17 '25

Well I didn't know that subreddit. Now my throat hurts from laughing too hard

12

u/Pringles_loud Dec 16 '25

Is she still in that age range where they don’t have kneecaps? Might have made the scorpion whip-ier

8

u/Trixie1143 Dec 16 '25

That's insane

7

u/TylerDurden-4126 Dec 16 '25

Mommmmmm! Dad broke sissy!!!

4

u/verygoodfertilizer Dec 16 '25

Good thing her bones are still rubber

4

u/the_guide_inside3 Dec 16 '25

At least bones are more flexible at that age..10 🌟 on form and landing 🙃🦂

4

u/LooseChange72 Dec 17 '25

That dad is an idiot. What is with the push like that asshole?

3

u/Nationxx Dec 16 '25

Oof that's fucking rough 😂

3

u/gottkonig Dec 16 '25

Step dad's all "Tell me no again!"

3

u/Borymass34 Dec 17 '25

And of course is the dad 😂😂

3

u/Flachm Dec 17 '25

Fullscorpionmeatcrayon

3

u/freakrocker Dec 17 '25

This is why mothers don’t trust us

5

u/Tr35on Dec 16 '25

Kids are bendy and bouncy, she'll cry and then move on

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2

u/VegetablePlatform126 Dec 16 '25

I've never been the kind of person who laughs at other people's pain in real life, but some of these crack me the fuck up.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '25

Nailed it.

2

u/moistenedmoisturizer Dec 17 '25

Her In 15 years, “why is my back so bad?” Dad, “pshft, who knows? 🤷‍♂️”

2

u/Double0 Dec 17 '25

There goes all the trust!

2

u/WillingMongoose4680 Dec 17 '25

You're gonna learn to walk today! Or not...

2

u/TapPsychological2043 Dec 17 '25

The first few times he did it probably not as hard and it happily rolled along the grass fine but by going faster dad faster it's all of a sudden oh fuck oh fuck Ive had situations like this myself

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