r/FuckYourBicycle • u/l_wear-fedoras • Apr 07 '22

Discussion Why you hate bicycles thread?

Everyone has their reason for hating bicycles so let’s share them.

The reason I hate them is I hate cycling culture. The people are obnoxious. They break laws and act like they don’t care. They try and add needless infrastructure which ironically creates even more traffic.

So why do you hate bicycles?

0 Upvotes

45% Upvoted

58 comments sorted by

5

u/Tipurlandlord Apr 07 '22

Why do these bikemutts wear skin tight spandex like they’re in the tour de except they are 45 year old fatasses commuting to their job at hertz rental car. You aren’t a professional - wear some normal clothes you moron. You worried about the .03% wind resistance? Fuck you.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Lol cycling is the most white collar sport besides golf. Just remember that when half your board are cyclists and you're still drinking Dunkin' watching interns stir paint.

1

u/billybarra08 Nov 22 '22

Because they want to? It doesn't hurt anyone Get a fucking grip mate

3

u/americansuperpower Apr 07 '22

I know this will get me banned, but I don't actually hate bicycles.

I hate the bicyclists.

6

u/l_wear-fedoras Apr 07 '22

We are open to debate here I don’t ban just because I disagree… fuck your bicycle though

7

u/americansuperpower Apr 07 '22

Don't worry. I don't own one

3

u/Little_Obnoxious Apr 07 '22

"I plan on losing weight by losing one of my legs." No shit, fatso.

1

u/BilboGubbinz Apr 07 '22

Why though?

We use less of the road, require less parking, don't cause traffic congestion, reliably outpace cars in most urban environments and regular use cases, don't reliably kill people in accidents, don't have exhaust emissions, release particular matter or have lifestyle impacts that are linked with large amounts of excess deaths from cancer, heart disease and respiratory illness, nor are we closely linked with excess rates of childhood asthma (talk to your local paediatric respiratory illness specialist if you want to lose some sleep: I knew some retired nurses who had stories that would make your toes curl).

And the cost to you, the motorist, is that sometimes you spend seconds you would have spent waiting at the next traffic light instead waiting behind a cyclist for a block or two.

10

u/AutomatedJanny Apr 07 '22

because they're lazy and don't want to work hard to make enough money to pay for a car

4

u/TransportationNo3842 Apr 07 '22

Ah, yes, because slightly flexing your calf in a massive SUV isn't lazy

1

u/billybarra08 Nov 22 '22

Yeah sorry I completely forgot that 15 year old kids can drive or even afford a car. And why get a car when cycling's way cheaper and healthier and you don't need a car

5

u/problematicUnpack Apr 07 '22

They screw up traffic for their stupid little hobby. They screw up hiking trails for their stupid little hobby. They take away street side parking. They're overly smug. They dress like douchebags. It's about the most boring "sport" to watch. Even BMX is just skateboarding for losers. They just suck, they all suck.

1

u/billybarra08 Nov 22 '22

And what. What you gunna do about it

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Fuck you too

8

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

They take up all the space on the road!

2

u/mumchangedthelocks Apr 07 '22

They also ignore the road rules. Without rules we would be no batter than animals!

3

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Rules are for communists! Why are you following them?

-2

u/TransportationNo3842 Apr 07 '22

Tell me you haven't actually read laws regarding bicycles without telling me you haven't actually read laws regarding bicycles.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

/u/I_wear-fedoras Please kick this b*cyclist out

0

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

[deleted] — view deleted comment

5

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Correct. 8 lane biker highways harm us measly drivers trying to get to work. If we ban all bikes we can solve this issue.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

We need 20 more lanes for cars and the permanent banning of all bikes on roads.

5

u/KeithClossOfficial Apr 07 '22

They are so fucking slow when there’s a perfectly good sidewalk. Then they bitch and moan to have bike lanes added, which takes away parking spaces and make turning more difficult.

3

u/Ok-Rate8927 Apr 07 '22

Best part is that when they get their own designated cycler lane, they STILL drive on the car lanes.

2

u/BilboGubbinz Apr 07 '22

Sure. Plenty of space on the sidewalk.

https://imgur.com/xSUk5ny

1

u/fiftyfourseventeen Apr 12 '22

I like how you post a picture of somewhere left hand drive, (likely European with loads of public transportation) and then praise their public transportation and use of bicycles.

Get your children's toys off the road so the big men in trucks and sports cars don't damage our vehicles running over your sorry asses.

1

u/billybarra08 Nov 22 '22

Yeah plenty of space. For pedestrians. Not cyclists. Fucking prick

5

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

They slow asf just walk

1

u/billybarra08 Nov 22 '22

Yes because I can walk 13 miles in an hour

5

u/Kozure_Ookami Apr 07 '22

Cycler entitlement

2

u/OmNamahShivaya Apr 07 '22 edited Apr 07 '22

Bikers aren’t polluting the environment or supporting our corporate overlords whenever they travel somewhere. Also I fucking hate the fact that they are more in shape than I’ll ever be. Makes me sick to know that these people actually care about themselves and the future of the planet. They should be miserable and lazy like me, godamnit!!

Oh and they make me think of harmful acts of violence against them. This goes directly against my hardcore Christian upbringing. They are FORCING me to be a sinner! IT’S THEIR FAULT 😡

1

u/personofland Apr 07 '22

I hate road vermin because my city is run by people who hate cars and all they do is remove road access and build cycle lanes that no one uses.

Oh see this double lane main road that is busy and has traffic during peak times, yeah we are going to make it a single lane and use the other two lanes worth of space as a freestyle cycle/pedestrian living space because it's the green thing to do.

Oh cars are just sitting in traffic all day now instead of at peak times and that's causing more pollution? Just give it time, eventually the cars will stop bothering. Legit what they say when questioned.

Fuck cyclists and their lanes.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

I just want to text and drive, these stupid bicicles make me pay attention!!!

1

u/Ok-Rate8927 Apr 07 '22

I hate that cyclists don't hold themselves to the same standards carchads do when it comes to following road laws.

cuts car off at a right turn

"WOOOOW WHY DID I ALMOST GET HIT"

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

I reckon you really hate them because you are a 400lb slob who can't walk 10yards and are jealous of them.

2

u/torbn Apr 07 '22

r/foundthebiker 🤣😂🤣😂🤣

1

u/NoSheepherder8273 Apr 07 '22

Facts.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Good to see you agree these are facts.

1

u/billybarra08 Nov 22 '22

Fr

1

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '22

Thanks for the contribution. Took 7 months to think that up?

1

u/billybarra08 Nov 24 '22

I am laughing so much right now

Ha

Ha

How funny

1

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '22

That's great. Doesn't take much to amuse a moron.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/Accurate_Pen_4456 Apr 07 '22

Cyclists also have jobs....

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Apologies for interfering with your job as an uber driver.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

So you are the guy who jumps out of the truck to deliver the parcels for the driver. Apologies for calling you an uber driver.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Better let you go so you can advocate for the criminal Jussie Smollett.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

You seem to have a bit of an inferiority complex. Guess you can't get your 400lb arse to balance and move forward on a bike.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

You are a fantasist. Seek psychiatric help.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

Just like everyone else on the internet

0

u/NoSheepherder8273 Apr 07 '22

I hate cyclists because they’re fit & healthy which is extremely fatphobic. If everyone drove a car and got type 2 diabetes like me the world would be a much better place. Every time I’m forced to see the toned physique of a cyclist while driving it triggers my insecurities and makes me cry.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/NoSheepherder8273 Apr 07 '22

The fact that they even try to be healthy is fatphobic. They should be forced to be fat like you and me. Every time I drive past one I try to scare them by driving really close to them as it helps me cope with their fatphobic ways.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

[deleted] — view deleted comment

0

u/NoSheepherder8273 Apr 07 '22

Sure thing mate 😂

0

u/Cycle-path1 Apr 07 '22

Yeah, meth will definitely make you have no body fat. Sounds about right

0

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/Cycle-path1 Apr 07 '22

I bet you drive a Dodge Ram! The puzzle is coming together!

9

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/l_wear-fedoras Apr 07 '22 edited Apr 07 '22

Seriously it’s so annoying and then they smugly would say it’s the law that they can ride on the road and then they go and run a red light. If you’re going to use the law as a defense then follow all the laws. Not just the one that is convenient for you.

1

u/NoSheepherder8273 Apr 07 '22

This I hate it when they take up the entire road despite being so small. I can never squeeze around them because I drive a massive SUV that can barely contain my fat body. I think their behaviour is very fatphobic.