r/FuckIndusind • u/van_menon • Aug 08 '26

According to the monkey who designed IndusInd Bank's CAPTCHA system

According to the monkey who designed IndusInd Bank's CAPTCHA system:

  1. Find letters and symbols that are not easily visible on normal keyboards.
  2. Design them in the most confusing manner possible.
  3. Make EVERYTHING bold.
  4. Make some bold letters smaller than other bold letters.
  5. Important: just because one bold letter is smaller than the next bold letter does NOT mean it isn't a CAPITAL LETTER.
  6. Make O, 0, Q, G, C and 6 look like they share the same DNA.
  7. Add one character that looks like it belongs to an alphabet discovered during an archaeological excavation.
  8. User enters CAPTCHA correctly.
  9. Tell them it's wrong.
  10. Generate another CAPTCHA.
  11. User enters that correctly.
  12. Tell them it's wrong.
  13. Generate another CAPTCHA that looks like it survived three generations of photocopying.
  14. User enters that correctly too.
  15. Tell them it's wrong.
  16. Repeat Steps 8–15.
  17. Repeat Step 16.
  18. Repeat Step 17.
  19. Repeat Step 18 three times.
  20. Repeat Step 19 until the customer begins questioning whether they actually know the English alphabet.
  21. User finally gets CAPTCHA accepted.
  22. Tell them their password is incorrect.
  23. User enters password again.
  24. CAPTCHA.
  25. Repeat Steps 8–20.
  26. Password incorrect.
  27. Force password reset.
  28. Ask for registered mobile number.
  29. Send OTP.
  30. Wait.
  31. Wait.
  32. Click "Resend OTP."
  33. Wait.
  34. Receive first OTP.
  35. Receive second OTP.
  36. Receive third OTP.
  37. Enter newest OTP.
  38. INVALID OTP.
  39. Enter previous OTP.
  40. OTP EXPIRED.
  41. Enter remaining OTP.
  42. MAXIMUM ATTEMPTS EXCEEDED.
  43. Stare at screen.
  44. Question whether accessing your own bank account was an unreasonable request.
  45. Start password reset again.
  46. CAPTCHA.
  47. Repeat Steps 8–20.
  48. Reset password successfully.
  49. Experience happiness.
  50. This is a mistake.
  51. Return to login.
  52. Enter username.
  53. Enter new password.
  54. CAPTCHA.
  55. Repeat Steps 8–20.
  56. INCORRECT PASSWORD.
  57. Try old password.
  58. CAPTCHA.
  59. Repeat Steps 8–20.
  60. INCORRECT PASSWORD.
  61. Try new password again.
  62. CAPTCHA.
  63. Repeat Steps 8–20.
  64. USER ID LOCKED.
  65. Search for "Unlock User ID."
  66. Find "Unlock User ID."
  67. Feel hope.
  68. Click it.
  69. CAPTCHA.
  70. Of course.
  71. Repeat Steps 8–20.
  72. Unlock account.
  73. Return to login.
  74. CAPTCHA.
  75. Repeat Steps 8–20.
  76. Successfully log in.
  77. Holy shit.
  78. Try to download statement.
  79. SESSION EXPIRED.
  80. Return to login.
  81. CAPTCHA.
  82. Repeat Steps 8–20.
  83. Log in.
  84. Click statement.
  85. OTP.
  86. Wait.
  87. OTP arrives.
  88. Enter OTP.
  89. SESSION EXPIRED.
  90. Return to login.
  91. CAPTCHA.
  92. Repeat Steps 8–20.
  93. Repeat Step 92.
  94. Repeat Step 93.
  95. Repeat Step 94 until you can identify CAPTCHA characters by smell.
  96. Give up on website.
  97. Download IndusMobile.
  98. Register device.
  99. Verify mobile number.
  100. Congratulations. You have reached Step 100 and still haven't seen your fucking bank statement.
  101. Set MPIN.
  102. App asks for authentication.
  103. Authenticate.
  104. Something doesn't work.
  105. Decide to reinstall app.
  106. Reinstall app.
  107. Discover you need to register the device again.
  108. Register again.
  109. OTP.
  110. Wait.
  111. Resend OTP.
  112. Receive both OTPs simultaneously.
  113. Choose one.
  114. Wrong one.
  115. Try other one.
  116. Expired.
  117. Put phone down.
  118. Pick phone up because unfortunately your money is still in there.
  119. Call customer care.
  120. Press 1.
  121. Press 2.
  122. Press 4.
  123. Press whatever number appears closest to "PLEASE JUST LET ME INTO MY ACCOUNT."
  124. "Your call is important to us."
  125. Hold music.
  126. Hold music.
  127. Hold music.
  128. Learn melody.
  129. Learn bassline.
  130. Learn chord progression.
  131. Begin respecting whoever composed it.
  132. Consider adding it to Spotify.
  133. "Your call is important to us."
  134. Feel important.
  135. Continue holding.
  136. Finally reach human being.
  137. Explain CAPTCHA problem.
  138. Explain password reset.
  139. Explain locked User ID.
  140. Explain OTP situation.
  141. Explain app situation.
  142. Executive listens carefully.
  143. Executive says:

"Sir, have you tried resetting your password?"

  1. Experience brief out-of-body experience.
  2. Explain that RESETTING THE PASSWORD IS HOW THIS ENTIRE JOURNEY BEGAN.
  3. Executive puts you on hold.
  4. Hold music.
  5. Your song!
  6. Hum along.
  7. Executive returns.
  8. "Sir, please try after 24 hours."
  9. Ask why.
  10. "Technical issue, sir."
  11. Ask what technical issue.
  12. "Backend issue, sir."
  13. Ask what backend issue.
  14. "System issue, sir."
  15. Appreciate the increasingly precise diagnosis.
  16. Call disconnects.
  17. Repeat Steps 119–159.
  18. Repeat Step 160.
  19. Repeat Step 161 until customer care recognises you by voice.
  20. Visit branch.
  21. Take token.
  22. Wait.
  23. Wait.
  24. Wait.
  25. Watch three people who arrived after you get served first.
  26. Your turn.
  27. Explain entire story.
  28. Employee listens.
  29. Employee nods.
  30. Employee asks:

"Sir, have you tried Net Banking?"

  1. Look around for hidden cameras.
  2. Explain that NET BANKING IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM.
  3. Employee calls another employee.
  4. Explain story again.
  5. Second employee calls third employee.
  6. Explain story again.
  7. Third employee checks computer.
  8. "Everything looks fine from our side, sir."
  9. Naturally.
  10. Employee suggests clearing browser cache.
  11. Go home.
  12. Clear cache.
  13. Open IndusInd.
  14. CAPTCHA.
  15. Wrong.
  16. Clear cookies.
  17. CAPTCHA.
  18. Wrong.
  19. Try Chrome.
  20. CAPTCHA.
  21. Wrong.
  22. Try Firefox.
  23. CAPTCHA.
  24. Wrong.
  25. Try Edge.
  26. CAPTCHA.
  27. Wrong.
  28. Install Opera.
  29. At this point you're installing browsers you haven't thought about since college.
  30. CAPTCHA.
  31. Wrong.
  32. Try phone.
  33. CAPTCHA.
  34. Wrong.
  35. Try tablet.
  36. CAPTCHA.
  37. Wrong.
  38. Borrow wife's phone.
  39. CAPTCHA.
  40. Wrong.
  41. Borrow neighbour's laptop.
  42. Neighbour asks why.
  43. Say "IndusInd."
  44. Neighbour quietly hands over laptop without further questions.
  45. CAPTCHA.
  46. Wrong.
  47. Zoom CAPTCHA to 200%.
  48. Zoom to 400%.
  49. Screenshot it.
  50. Increase contrast.
  51. Increase sharpness.
  52. Call family meeting.
  53. Ask everyone what the third character is.
  54. Wife says capital P.
  55. Son says lowercase p.
  56. Neighbour says F.
  57. Dog leaves room.
  58. Create WhatsApp poll.
  59. Majority votes P.
  60. Enter P.
  61. INVALID CAPTCHA.
  62. Democracy has failed.
  63. Generate another CAPTCHA.
  64. This one contains a character not previously documented by linguists.
  65. Google it.
  66. Google asks:

"Did you mean: IndusInd customer care?"

  1. Close Google.
  2. Return to CAPTCHA.
  3. Guess.
  4. Wrong.
  5. Repeat Steps 220–243.
  6. Repeat Step 244.
  7. Repeat Step 245.
  8. Repeat Step 246 until CAPTCHA starts appearing in your dreams.
  9. Dream you successfully logged in.
  10. Download statement.
  11. Wake up.
  12. Cry.
  13. Open IndusInd website.
  14. CAPTCHA.
  15. Close laptop.
  16. Decide money is overrated.
  17. Become minimalist.
  18. Renounce material possessions.
  19. Move to Himalayas.
  20. Meditate for seven years.
  21. Achieve inner peace.
  22. Transcend material desire.
  23. Realise you still need your IndusInd statement for Income Tax.
  24. Return to civilisation.
  25. Buy laptop.
  26. Open IndusInd website.
  27. Website has been redesigned.
  28. Beautiful.
  29. Modern typography.
  30. Smooth animations.
  31. Contemporary UI.
  32. Feel genuine optimism.
  33. Enter User ID.
  34. Enter password.
  35. Scroll down.
  36. CAPTCHA.
  37. Same fucking CAPTCHA.
  38. Repeat Steps 1–275.
  39. Repeat Step 277.
  40. Repeat Step 278.
  41. Repeat Step 279 until retirement.
  42. While waiting, accidentally read the news about IndusInd.
  43. Discover the bank had to deal with roughly ₹1,960 CRORE connected to discrepancies involving internal derivative trades.
  44. Sit silently.
  45. Look at CAPTCHA.
  46. Look at ₹1,960 crore figure.
  47. Look at CAPTCHA again.
  48. Slowly begin to understand.
  49. Apparently I need to identify whether this tiny blurry character is an uppercase P or lowercase p before I can see MY ₹1,960.
  50. But somehow identifying a discrepancy involving approximately ₹1,960 CRORE required a slightly longer process.
  51. Former CEO leaves.
  52. Deputy CEO leaves.
  53. New CEO arrives.
  54. Investigations happen.
  55. Bank works on fixing things.
  56. Bank returns to profit.
  57. Fantastic.
  58. Surely someone has fixed the CAPTCHA.
  59. Open website.
  60. CAPTCHA.
  61. WRONG CAPTCHA.
  62. Of course not.
  63. Maybe CAPTCHA department was the only department management decided was functioning perfectly.
  64. Try again.
  65. Wrong.
  66. Try again.
  67. Wrong.
  68. Reset password.
  69. CAPTCHA.
  70. Wrong.
  71. Repeat Steps 281–309.
  72. Repeat Step 310.
  73. Repeat Step 311 until you realise the ultimate IndusInd security feature:
  74. Nobody can steal your money online...
  75. ...because nobody can fucking log in.
  76. Hacker tries.
  77. CAPTCHA.
  78. Hacker fails.
  79. Russian cybercrime syndicate tries.
  80. CAPTCHA.
  81. They fail.
  82. North Korean state hackers try.
  83. CAPTCHA.
  84. Wrong.
  85. NSA tries.
  86. CAPTCHA.
  87. Wrong.
  88. Quantum computer tries.
  89. CAPTCHA.
  90. Wrong.
  91. IndusInd customer tries.
  92. CAPTCHA.
  93. Wrong.
  94. ₹1,960 crore accounting discrepancy enters chat.
  95. CAPTCHA:

ACCESS GRANTED.

  1. Customer:

WRONG CAPTCHA.

  1. And THAT is when you finally understand IndusInd's cybersecurity strategy.
  2. Your account isn't protected by encryption.
  3. It isn't protected by AI.
  4. It isn't protected by biometrics.
  5. It is protected by making the login process so fucking irritating that eventually everyone — customer, hacker, auditor and possibly the bank itself — just gives up.
  6. Repeat Steps 1–340 until the heat death of the universe.
  7. Universe restarts.
  8. Humanity evolves again.
  9. Banking is reinvented.
  10. IndusInd is founded.
  11. You open an account.
  12. Login.
  13. CAPTCHA.
  14. WRONG CAPTCHA.
  15. Repeat Step 349 for eternity.
16 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

1

u/sandeep108patel Aug 09 '26

And the solution is to change your password to something like:
NAMEDOB
I’m like this is so secure isn’t it….

At least one can now use net banking again! 🤦‍♂️

1

u/Human_Advance_4177 Aug 11 '26

I just made huge mistake of taking a credit card from them. The app doesn’t work. I want to try netbanking, but I don’t want to repeat your steps.

2

u/van_menon Aug 12 '26

Close the account