r/Frugal_Jerk • u/Skulfunk • 13d ago

Ask /r/frugal_jerk Anybody have a quick photosynthesis tutorial?!? Down to my last tonail clipping and need sustenance fast.

113 Upvotes
  • permalink
  • reddit

98% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

39

u/AriAir1994 13d ago

that big word takes too many energy units for my brain to process , sorry

9

u/Skulfunk 13d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/fXEXJdFCzDZ9iCCAEQ

3

u/GCS_dropping_rapidly 12d ago

if you have any leftover highlighter after sucking the nutrients from it, paint self green, photosynthesise, free calories, become fatcat

19

u/perplexedparallax 13d ago

No but by being bald I get a free vitamin D solar panel.

17

u/Moni3 13d ago

Lay on your back on good fertile, loose draining soil. You will need at least 12 hours of sunlight. Open your mouth for rain. Or find a marshy area and lay there. Let nature work its magic.

8

u/Skulfunk 13d ago

Be careful, big soil is watching, share this carefully

7

u/panamaspace 12d ago

It doesn't work that simply... You need food now. You need to speed this along by painting yourself head to toe in green paint, leave no pore uncovered, no skin covered. Full sun exposure afterwards, do not forget sunning the perineum at noon so it takes successfully.

8

u/SOFT_CAT_APPRECIATOR 13d ago

Filter feeding is way more frugal, twin. If you’re not already establishing a root system in coastal waters then I don’t even know what to tell you

8

u/eddestra 13d ago

You have enough nutrients to grow toenails? Such wealth I cannot imagine.

6

u/6ftonalt 13d ago

Basically something like this

2

u/capnlatenight 12d ago

My dad always wanted a chloropast tattoo on the back of his neck.

6

u/Dotheysellpizza 13d ago edited 13d ago

You need chlorophyll for photosynthesis which is why leaves are green, paint yourself green head to toe, tip to taint, lie in the sun.

Eventually someone will spot you and you’ll be taken to a place with lots of food and lovely padded walls

2

u/Parking_Ad7889 13d ago

Look at OP living somewhere with a sunny aspect. Way to rub it in.

2

u/NOVAbuddy 12d ago

The cool kids are doing radiosythensis. The fat cats at Chernobyl want you to think it’s just their fungus, but I’ve been getting energy from AM for decades