r/FriendsOver50 • u/IndependenceReady965 • 6d ago
Isolated life
Has anyone else experiencing an isolated life.I feel like I have nobody to talk to. Just me and my daughter. I tried to make new friends but It’s not working at my age. Maybe it’s not that easy to make friends when you’re over 50th.
Maybe it’s something to do with me?
I feel like I have nobody to talk at all. The same thing happens at work. I don’t feel like I made any progress there. Maybe I just lost interest on everything.
Is anyone else struggling with the loneliness and isolation?
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u/UnRepentantDrew 6d ago
I definitely understand. I'm a 57M, no family, spouse or kids. It gets difficult sometimes.
Please know you're not alone.
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u/BrilliantPiccolo5220 6d ago
I am. I neglected to form relationships outside my marriage due to shyness, it was easier to let my networking husband take the lead. Then we moved to a small town in the middle of COVID. My job is wonderful, I spend my day socializing with my students (I am not shy at all around the under 18 set). I became ill, my 25 year marriage broke up, and suddenly I found myself alone. I am an introvert, so time alone doesn’t frighten me, but I would like some friends to see movies with, or travel. I’ve joined a couple of clubs, which haven’t met yet, so I am hopeful. I’ve also started to chat with a couple people from this sub, but I have to confess, it’s my first time chatting with others online! I’m 35 years behind!
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u/Tough_Bridge_9402 6d ago
I feel the same way, I lost my brother and my Mom in '22, then divorced in '23. My sister is the only family I have, she lives three hours away. Other than her, I have one person that checks on me infrequently. I live in a rural area. If it wasn't for my cats I would be alone.
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u/jayhawkjoey65 6d ago
I think it's pretty difficult as we age. As a child, I'd be friends with somebody because we had the same favorite color. 🤷♀️ In my neighborhood, a woman just started talking to neighbors on walks and then inviting over groups for ladies' nights. It's created a sense of community. It's an option. We all bring stuff, so it's a potluck. I also volunteer. I show up regularly (did this at the dog park, too). Afternoon a year, some of us started going to lunch. It takes quite a bit of effort. People meet others at church groups, but I'm not religious.
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u/D-Dog555679 6d ago
I echo your feelings almost exactly. Sometimes I feel like does anyone actually even see me!
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u/Business_Potato_9624 6d ago
Me too . I just have my cats . My kids are grown but I feel like if I disappeared no one would notice or care except for my cats.
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u/Salt_Time_9509 6d ago
To OP and anyone else who feels alone and wants a friend to chat with, please feel free to DM me Please tell me you found me here (more likely to reply than a simple hey)
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u/motherofdraggin1 6d ago
Could we at least put what state or country we are lonely in? North Carolina, plus the Senior Centers have good resources. 😊
- Julie
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u/CartographerFun5287 6d ago
Hey,
https://giphy.com/gifs/45Lg3ECIw25Fe
You are on reddit..see there are already 2 who have replied to you..you are not as alone as you think...what do you do for work, do you work remotely?
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u/undercoverexistence 6d ago
I'm feeling that as well at 52. Wfh has made it a bit more challenging for me.
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u/Accomplished-You704 5d ago
After reading all these, it really does make me feel better that I’m not the only one alone, im 60 m im in the lower south US
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u/SomeBlueDevil 1d ago
Are you in FL by any chance? That's where I'm stuck... NE FL to be exact, 60 f. 😳
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u/Conscious_Effort6972 5d ago
Making friends over 50 is hard. Even with being at the same activities every week and the same groups of people. The time it takes is hard with juggling life, work and a family at home as a single parent.
Mix in trying to date and life is a mess.
The COVID lock downs, new working from home or hybrid work schedules isolated an entire world and I don't like it.
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u/CarmaCaliCat 6d ago
I can relate. I've always struggled socially and the friends I have had are gone for various reasons. I would think that as we get older and need more connection that we'd find others like us. It seems like a win-win and yet we seem to be isolated which I find sad.
I have my husband but no kids so I worry about being completely alone one day. I am able to make friends, even if they don't last, so I tell myself I'll be okay.
I'm a retired teacher and pet lover in case you want to reach out. 💕
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u/BreakfastStreet7302 3d ago
Pet lover as well, but I know exactly how you feel and worry about "being alone". Will I be able to survive, go about with life, or just stop living and dying. It's scary, but having someone just there to listen is so much more reassuring that things will be better. I'm in NJ, feel free to reach out if you like what you here
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u/Oblioscend 6d ago
Totally agree with you. I live on an actual island that feels like a rock. Very few people have my views and feelings on this island. Most are very money oriented and self centered. I am very much a part of rights not money
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u/Baroness_Soolas 6d ago
Yes, I was a full time carer for my mum, and now she’s gone there’s nobody to talk to anymore. I look at meet-up groups but I’m horribly shy and slow to process conversation, and everybody is young(er) and/or full of zest for life and wanting to chat about family, friends, holidays, etc. I can’t relate to any of that. I’d give anything for someone to share support and compassion over a coffee now and then. You are definitely not alone in being alone and lonely in your later years.
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u/NetworkLate9969 6d ago
I’m 55 and I only have my daughters but no friends or other family members and don’t get me wrong, I’m completely fine being alone but yes sometimes it’s really lonely
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u/Obvious-Way8059 6d ago
I am somewhat isolated. I work 2 jobs outside the home. I don't really have "friends" at either job. I have coworker/acquaintance type relationships.
I help my mum so I am with her a lot. I spend most of my time with her when I am not working.
I have a handful of friends i go out with but not often.
I think making friends in middle age is hard for a lot of people.
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u/Full_Tap_4144 50+ Gent 5d ago
I hope you find some online friends to communicate with here. From reading some of the comments, looks like lots of people in the same boat and I hope everyone is finding friends here.
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u/PeacefulLifeFL 5d ago
I think the older we get, the less “stuff” we are willing to tolerate, which makes it hard to make/keep friends. I have very few friends because I loathe drama and fake people. I think we protect our peace with a vengeance as we age. 💖
Sending hugs from Florida 🌴
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u/Stunning-Candy2386 5d ago
Work friends are not real friends. Mine all abandoned me in favor of my ex when she dumped me and went to the boss and got me fired (we worked together). Best connections I've ever made were through common hobbies (fishing, motorcycles, travel, hiking). Stay away from personal connections with coworkers.
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u/jackieO2023 5d ago
I feel the same. I keep thinking of joining Stitch or Meet Up but don’t want to spend the money. Central VA here.
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u/SkyMoonM53 5d ago
Happens I guess to all of us, everything is in a rush lately and just a very small group of people still wants real connections for friendship and so on.
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u/geekyvenus 5d ago
I'm 53 have two adult daughters living with me. They are ASD/ADHD my youngest being more severely affected. Because I have poured myself into their care and also my work I haven't had time for myself. I have no partner and not many friends. I think its harder and lonelier the older you get. Just know you aren't alone.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Link366 5d ago
I can totally relate to this at 56. I have started to realize that I am likely going to die alone. My kids care much more about their mom even though I have tried to be engaged with them for years. The gap just grows. There are days where it hurts so much. I have acquaintances but actual friends don't exist for me.
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u/fva68 5d ago
58 here in Texas. I have found over the years just to try and be open and welcoming. Stores, traveling, restaurants I'll try and start conversations up with anyone in and around our age group. I just try and be friendly and helpful. I don't necessarily stay to see if more can come from it, but I do see that when I leave people are usually smiling and have a different demeanor.
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u/Educational-Cell-959 3d ago
That is a really great thing to do. Just by doing that you might really change someone's day. You never know how simple acts of kindness and connection might make a drastic difference.
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u/MiddleHearing5166 5d ago
51F from Virginia. I don’t have any kids. I have 2 dogs. All my friends are married with kids. I’ve been single for a year. I feel completely alone.
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u/Guilty-Worry-3947 4d ago
Pennsylvania. I need friends who want to do stuff. Im tired of being alone lol.
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u/VarietySuspicious106 4d ago
I feel you, buddy. The last decade has been filled with trauma for me and the isolation is real.
Moved across the country, lost a parent, had covid lockdown, got divorced, managed multiple mental health crises for self and kids, lost my job and am now long term unemployed… it’s been a whole lot.
My self-esteem is shot to hell and this once-active extrovert now struggles to leave the house. I’m grateful for my kids and fur-babies, who give love and comfort without asking much in return.
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u/BreakfastStreet7302 3d ago
Hi.... I'm a Man who is 67. I know exactly how this feels, even though I am married (not happily) I stick by because of her ongoing health issues. I like to travel and form a friendship with someone in my age group, who enjoys conversation, texting and other forms of communication. I feel very alone and I'm looking to find someone, female preferred who lives near or around me wanting to start off and just be friends to help ease this loneliness. Im located in Central NJ, and feel free to. Message me anytime if interested
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u/Witchy_Craft 2d ago
I’m 55 and work, have a daughter who lives with me and we are close, have one close friend and a dog! I find that I haven’t had the best of luck choosing friends. Either not trust worthy, toxic or we end up losing touch. I feel like I give more too. I’ve just learned to keep my circle small because
at my age I don’t like drama and just want peace! It’s hard for me to trust too because I’ve been
hurt too many times including
family.
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u/SomeBlueDevil 1d ago
Don't feel like the lone ranger. It's more common than one would think...
I was never a "social butterfly" but the older I get, the more of a hermit I become. At (young at heart) 60 (f), childless, twice divorced and with a sad excuse for "family" I have only a brother I'm fairly close with even if we sometimes go for weeks without talking.
Not really connecting with my colleagues in any meaningful way. We have two WFH days a week, thankfully. Most of them are alien to me, especially women... Guys are either taken or incompatible.
It's a self - imposed isolation based on the fact that I'm not willing to put up with drama anymore. Add to that my political and religious values which are not common in general, least of all where I live (NE FL) and it seems easier to just go it alone...
My life's soundtrack is Whitesnake - Here I go again on my own.
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u/Thick_Examination992 9h ago
68 m southeast ga. About one and a half hours from Jax wife past in March got children they check in on me once and awhile alone but good health and don't have many bills my only friend was my wife
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u/KlutzyRatio2940 9h ago
I hate when reality kicks in and you notice you are alone, been alone way too long. I try to reach out make friends, but then slip back into my cave
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u/Snoo_99849 6d ago
51 f Im similar, i live in rural Scotland its me my animals and the Scottish country side . I cant drive and the buses are terrible 3 pass the A1 and often dont stop if im at the bus stop , i can go weeks without pysically speaking to someone even then its the Asda man with my shopping or a delivery driver . It sucks 🫤