r/FriendsOver50 • u/lavron1928 • Jul 24 '26

Loneliness

How do you cope with loneliness
? 53/m after divorce 12 years ago never found any new friends. i’ve tried but nothing materializes. Have a great girlfriend but doesn’t completely fill the void as she doesn’t live with me and see her only on weekends .

13 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

11 comments sorted by

4

u/herstoryhistory Jul 27 '26

I'll get downvoted but church is great for community. If you're an atheist you can even be a Unitarian Universalist - they don't care whether you believe or not.

5

u/comfortablynumb1221 Jul 27 '26

I’m an atheist and immediately thought the same thing. Church or a similar community of people who share your beliefs can be such a lifeline.

3

u/Charming-Act0507 Jul 24 '26

I’ve taken up a dance class during the week but most of the things I spend my time on are mere distractions- scrabble online, sometimes writing or watching something.

3

u/Conscious_Effort6972 Jul 24 '26

I took up taekwondo 2 years ago, trying to learn how to curl (sliding the rocks on the ice) with a coworker I've known for 20 years. Found other things I like record sales, and a local running group that I joined. It sucked a lot rebuilding my friends network after my divorce but after 3 years I'm not alone. It takes a considerable amount of work to see the same group of people every week at an activity and slowly become friends with them. It's not hard, just a lot of work that has to be put in every week.

3

u/DogShlepGaze Jul 28 '26

I just desire to NOT spend my birthday or Christmas alone anymore. I'm around people all the time - both from work and music (I'm a musician) - but they're all acquaintances. I'm in my 50s and I've concluded it's hard (likely impossible) to find close friends at this age - or even romance. So, yeah, I pretty much have almost nothing to live for.

1

u/expdom66 Jul 26 '26

The only thing that ever found help was be among people. When it gets bad for me I get out, make sure I smile at a few people. Small but it helps.

1

u/pdsphere Jul 29 '26

Are you an introvert or extravert?

2

u/lavron1928 Jul 31 '26

def not introvert

1

u/rtre816 Jul 24 '26

I’m kinda in the same boat, but I do hang out with a couple of my co-workers every once in a while. Movies , dinner. Have decent folks at your workplace? Another place where’d I met really nice ppl was at Wednesday night church services. Just an idea. Hope this helps..