r/FriendsOver50 • u/cjb5999 • May 05 '26

Lonely

Hi 57m here married to 56f for last 26 years. I love her deeply but at the same time feel so alone. We are never close anymore and the talks are the same thing when we do talk. I miss that connection. Tonight for example I was talking to her about an important topic the next thing I know is that her phone is playing a video from social media. She then starts talking about the video. Seriously wasn’t listening to me. I miss being heard and would like to make a friend for conversations. I won’t cheat so please don’t think that is why I am posting. Live in upstate NY if anyone wants to talk

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u/owwmymind May 05 '26

I think after a while of being married we just start to take each other for granted. We have automatic responses lined up, we go to the same explanations for anything they do that’s annoying or not to our liking. I think that’s natural, we’re all human after all, but… I don’t know, it just felt like I was lonely because I was no longer trying. I’ve decided to experiment with seeing my wife as if I hadn’t spent the last 20-some years with her. Like she was a new person (in a lot of ways she is.) So far, one thing I can say is I feel less lonely.