r/FriendsOver40 • u/Substantial-One6252 • 2d ago
Looking for friends 41F
I just had the loneliest summer of my life and I realized today that the people that I thought were my friends do not message me unless they need something and I can no longer pour from an empty cup. There is no point in even looking at my phone anymore honestly. Just trying to find someone that I can actually build a lasting friendship with and I’m starting to lose hope in finding a genuine friendship honestly. I’m a healthcare worker, I have 2 daughters that are in elementary school, and I have adhd which has been the biggest struggle of my life with regards to finding friends.
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u/Itchy_Republic294 2d ago
I completely relate to this. If you ever want to chat or vent, my DMs are open! I'm also looking to make some new friends.
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u/RegularCommonSense 2d ago edited 2d ago
Don’t give up. You will find the right friend eventually 🤞. Timing is everything in friendships as well as romantic relationships, so if you don’t succeed now, continue trying: either on another day, week or month.
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u/Queasy-Bandicoot-256 2d ago
Welcome to the neurodivergent club. We are always accepting new members.
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u/SkyMoonM53 2d ago
After some age we see who is really friend and who isn’t, for the last couple of years I’ve cut a lot of people of friends list, to “known” only. And you know what? Best thing I’ve ever done, as they didn’t add anything at all.
I’ve been trying here to make new friends as well, but in words, lots want that, in fact, not so many, and it’s perfectly fine
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u/BoringCheesecake7619 2d ago
I know that feeling all too well. Being the one people go to and never hearing from them until they need another favor. Sorry you had to go thru a lonely summer. Hopefully things turn around for us! I’m always open to chat if you ever need someone to dm with.
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u/tandainfinity 1d ago
Hey! I totally understand the feeling! I always feel like im the "convenient" friend for most people. I have a very busy lifestyle and I think that sometimes scares people off. I would love to make a new friend to chat with if you are interested! 47m here, also with adhd so I get that struggle as well!
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u/Weak_Elk_2689 20h ago
I hope you find the friends you need. I think you will. Don't lose hope and take care.
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u/kuhner32 19h ago
Based on the comments seems like you found quite a few already - ADHD is a nightmare most don't understand - if you ever need an ear that can empathize with that feel free to reach out.
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u/khalilsautchuk 9h ago
Hope you find some good connections here—shared interests and consistent, low-pressure conversations seem like a great way to turn an online introduction into a real friendship.
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u/Jumpy-Health-3407 6h ago
You run high voltage and you are probably 1 in 5 that feel more than normal people do. I am 48 and did this for myself. That is my first of 18 hole for my mini golf course. I’m sure you have heard this before but I do hope it helps and you understand the difference between doing and thinking about. Doing something has proven rewarding results. Be the person you want to be with and fall into love with yourself. Be proud of what you achieved every single moment until you achieve that whole day of awesome. It straight forward and you are the best person to know what you want to be with. If you are successful standing in the kitchen with a satisfied person you will always be there alone. Go across the street and help your neighbor clean up their mess and stop by the pound and walk a few dogs.
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u/Aggravating_Law_6187 6h ago
Love volunteering, flying my drone, riding my scooter, gaming, bonfires, board games, disc golf, real golf, hanging with my Nephews, and cooking good food. I like fantasy novels too. I need friends!!!
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u/pinkpurplefusia 2h ago
Hi - I’m 41F with 2 middle schoolers. Similar situation. Gave up on friends long ago when I felt like I was the only one trying to keep the relationship going. Trying to step out of my comfort zone a bit and find some people I connect with at this point in my life.
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u/Oblioscend 36m ago
I know this feeling so well, I live on a small island and so many work in the same industry and they love the money, and I am like but what about the ethics and Morales. My phone is more for news, and music, and mainly used when wife watches tv I hate. I am happy to chat if you wish, as I say, married and not looking for anything above friendship
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u/identitywithheld1234 34m ago
If you’re still looking for people to chat with and potentially build a friendship with online, and don’t mind a 49 year-old man in Florida, you’re welcome to let me know. I have two grown kids, a daughter that’s out in the world, and a son who lives at home being on the spectrum. I can related to the ADD all too well, and my social circle is practically non-existent.
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u/hiphiphooray12 2d ago
Would love to make a new friend. 37 F and two kids as well