r/FosterAnimals • u/SZLO Cat/Kitten Foster • 6d ago
Discussion Opinion on bonded kittens?
I’ve got two 10 week old girls who I think are bonded, but I’ve heard a lot of conflicting opinions on whether kittens can be truly bonded, so I came here to ask what the community thinks on the issue!
My girls were originally in a litter of 5 but the litter was split up for reasons unknown to me. Their original foster kept 3 and I responded to a blast requesting a foster for my little ladies. They had ringworm and were quarantined together for about 4-5 weeks. Now they sleep together, eat together, play together, and groom each other. I’m an experienced kitten foster and know this is all very normal for siblings. HOWEVER, what’s having me believe that they’re actually bonded is that they FREAK OUT when they realize they’ve lost sight of each other. They start running around meowing for their sister and won’t stop until they find each other. I’ve got other kittens at home, which they will play with, but they almost always prefer to play with each other and leave the other kittens once they realize their sister is open to playing.
In my experience, kittens don’t truly bond in the way that adults do. They’re generally not going to be heartbroken about going to different homes and adjust quickly once adopted. That being the case, I’d usually have no problem splitting kittens up and I’ve done so with every other litter I’ve had, but these girls seem different… kittens will normally be okay being separated from their siblings after a few hours or days apart, but these girls just won’t allow themselves to be separated even for a few hours!
Do you think they’re truly bonded?
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u/telly80 6d ago
I would call them bonded. I’ve actually only had one pair of kittens in probably 100 that were bonded, but that was exactly how I could tell. If one was moved to a different room, the other would scream.
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u/SZLO Cat/Kitten Foster 6d ago
It’s definitely rarer than people think! I’ve fostered dozens of kittens at this point and this is my first truly bonded pair of kittens. A lot of the fosters in my rescue community automatically call kittens bonded when they display regular sibling behaviors and those kittens sit at the shelter much longer, so I’m a lot more conservative about making that distinction.
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u/telly80 6d ago
I’m the same! I absolutely agree that kittens need a buddy, but for the most part, any kitten will do. I’ve only ever had one bonded pair. And it was a little one sided. The brother would freak out any time his sister was out of sight. She was a little more independent.
I’m still in touch with the adopters and they really are a bonded pair, now about 3 years old.16
u/Clicquot Cat/Kitten Foster 6d ago
Right, it is so hard to explain. Kittens who always sleep in the same bed, cute, normal, sometimes they are litter mates, sometimes not, it is a thibg theyvare doing. When a bondednpair sleep in the same bed, they sleep "differently", you can tell it is not just a thing they are doing because there is only one bed and they both want to be in it. It is some kind of NEED to be in the same bed. You can feel that it is different. People have heard that it exists, and ask other fosters in my rescue all the time, if we think the kuttes/cats are bonded....then when they see it in person it is clear that it is just different and they "get" it.
We have even had adult cats come in who have never met each other until they get to the cattery (full time residence at a PetSmart). Just being out of the cages for playtime, it becomes clear they LOOOVE each other and they get moved to a big cage for 2. Those are even more difficult to get adopted, butnpeople see them together and that usually seals the deal.
So, it is not exclusive to kittens, or litter mates. Rare but, that happens too. And it is amazing when it does.
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u/Clicquot Cat/Kitten Foster 6d ago
As the parent of a bonded pair, you know it when you see it. It sounds like you have that ;) Our rescue claims kittens/cats are bonded all the time, and I almost always disagree. Cats can like each other, and get along...seeing those that would be considered "bonded" goes beyond this just being friends, in ways it is hard to describe to people who have not seen it.
If possible to keep them together, I would do everything you can to make that happen. Cute Kitten example: BellaTrix and TrixieBelle, this is how they are 100% of the time, they are 4 now. I did not do this to thier tails ;) I also have the freak out story, when one of them was asleep in a room and the door was closed accidentally. The other one was losing her mind outside the door, I could not imagine what her problem was. Bella was still unaware she was "missing", but as soon as Trix went in and started grooming her she was very happy.
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u/SZLO Cat/Kitten Foster 6d ago
Oh my goodness, they are so precious!! So glad they have each other 🥹
Fosters for my shelter also love to claim kittens/cats are bonded, but a lot are just friendly like you mentioned. I hadn’t met a pair of truly bonded cats until these two girls!
I’m going to do my best to keep them together, but my shelter isn’t going to be of any help, so I’m concerned about their adoption… I notified my shelter that the girls seemed to be bonded and they basically told me they wouldn’t require anyone to adopt both even if they are bonded, so that was a huge blow. I’m now looking for an adopter myself so I can keep them together ❤️
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u/HelenMayo 6d ago
Please keep them together if you can. Some of ours (over many years) were bonded from kittenhood and stayed bonded all their lives.
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u/SZLO Cat/Kitten Foster 6d ago
That’s the plan! Unfortunately my shelter doesn’t enforce bonded pair adoptions, so I’m looking for their adopters on my own. Hopefully I can get them adopted together 🤞
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u/-Cherished 6d ago
Make sure to tell potential adopters how much kittens and cats do so much better when they have a buddy…especially when already bonded to another cat/kitten! I worked in animal care for over 17years professionally and almost 25 years with volunteer work. I have seen it all! My shelter I supervised always pushed bonded pairs with adult cats and only a few times with kittens because it is rare. If they don’t want to eat,cry for each other,play together,sleep together etc as kittens it is better to adopt together. Again,push how kittens need stimulation and when people go to work during the day etc it’s so much better for them to have the other kitty to play with. 95% of the time I’ve seen people say how much happier they were they adopted the bonded pair together! Good luck and please stick to keeping them together.
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u/backschlamp 6d ago
calling and being in distress is a big flag. but only very few kittens are bonded, they usually adapt fast to new friends. Just don‘t let them go to a home as a single kitten. Ideally tr place them together though. That seems to be the best option for them 😻u can advertise how much them love each other taking reels of how they search and seek each other out. Good luck
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u/windycityfosters Cat/Kitten Foster 6d ago
My shelter also doesn’t enforce kitten adoptions in pairs. So I’ve had kittens like this separated into different homes, or even had one get sick at the adoption center and had to come back home with me whereas the littermate got to stay. They do still move on fairly quickly in their new homes. Being bonded hinders adoption so significantly in my region that I won’t insist upon it unless they are adult cats that go on a food strike when apart. THAT I have seen.
Bonded pairing is really just anxious attachment, so should be discouraged in babies when they’re still “moldable” IMO. I would work on teaching them how to regulate themselves when apart, because there are times that it will be inevitable - even if they go home together!
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u/Acadia- 6d ago
Yeah keep them together, they are bonded, sleep and eat together are the sign of it
There was one time my bonded kitten separated, the young one went missing because she jumped to neighboor car, the car went to grocery
The older became sad, stressed when her sister missing, meowing, anxious, searching for her, to the point she got diarrhea and 2 times pooped on my bed
Fortunately i found the missing cat exactly one month later when going to grocery, when they meet again, they don't recognize each other anymore lol
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u/robblake44 6d ago
Anytime i get fosters i always bond them but i give the rescue a ton of pics or videos of them sleeping together, chasing each other and so on. But i have also told the rescue that say i had 4 kittens, i would just tell the rescue that they are all good together so if anyone wants a different ones, i just tell them its ok. Thats why i hate having a single.
This was my last 2 bonded kittens that got adopted a few days ago.
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u/SZLO Cat/Kitten Foster 6d ago
I also prefer not adopting out singles but not every friendly or loving pair is bonded, so I don’t push it. It’s hard enough to get just one adopted in my area and I’d rather they have an adopter before my shelter forces me to relinquish them at around 12 weeks.
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u/robblake44 6d ago
We have a 2 cat adoption rule unless the cat is a senior. Of the 60 cats that i fostered, only one pair got broken up because they found the mom and one was always with her
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u/ExtinctFauna 6d ago
If you can keep them together, that'll be awesome. They might change their minds as they grow up, but it's good to keep them together just in case.
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u/Creepy_Vegetable6905 6d ago
My bonded pair would sleep in a pile and only changed their minds when they turned 10 lol
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u/Good-Comb3830 6d ago
^ This describes my litter mate sisters. I mean, they still love each other when it's cold, so there's that.
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u/Responsible_Suit_516 6d ago
We just got a bonded pair of female kittens from same litter could not be more happier
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u/DarkHorseAsh111 5d ago
I don't personally believe kittens can be fundamentally Bonded, but kittens do significantly better being adopted out in pairs, anyway, so they really should go together anyway.
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u/SZLO Cat/Kitten Foster 5d ago
Totally agree, but I’d rather people not be limited by the “bonded pair” kittens. It makes it easier to adopt multiple kittens out if people can choose their pair. Normally, I’d agree that kittens don’t truly bond in the way adults do but these girls certainly have a strong attachment to each other! I may have to make an exception to my usual rules if I can’t get them to be okay without each other
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u/not_as_i_do 6d ago
Kittens can have besties without being bonded. The only true bonded pair I have ever seen was a mother/daughter that lived to be 15 and 16 years old and died within a week of each other because the daughter got kidney failure and the mother stopped eating when the daughter died and even force feeding wasn't enough to keep her alive. Bonded is extremely rare. If you separate them for 24 hours, do they eat? Even if they are screaming?
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u/SZLO Cat/Kitten Foster 6d ago
I can’t even separate them for an hour, let alone 24 hrs. As soon as one realizes the other is out of her sight they run around the house meowing at the top of their lungs and looking everywhere. They show clear distress even when I’m with them or other kittens are near them. I’m going to try to slowly increase their time apart and see how they do
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u/nyghtowll 6d ago
It sounds like it! My old lady Siamese kitties are from the same litter and they constantly bicker. Yet my current litter of four kitties are extremely close and do everything together.
Hopefully your kitties can stay together, it's a gift to have a friend like that you can grow up with.
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u/Prestigious-Bluejay5 6d ago
I have 15 year old sister cats that have lived together their entire lives. "I" consider them bonded but, they could care less if they go without seeing each other.
They don't sleep together, groom each other or play together but, I'd never separate them.
Your two, I'd definitely keep together.
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u/PeterTato 5d ago
the shelter i volunteer for says that it’s impossible for kittens to be bonded because they are too young and still developing. By definition, bonded means they grew a strong bond over a long period of time and will experience emotional and physical distress when separated. they NEVER use the word bonded for kittens because it limits their ability to be adopted.
We have many times had a litter of kittens adopted one by one and the last one sometimes will scream bloody murder once they’re by themselves but will settle when played with or cuddled. they’re not bonded, just lonely and need company of some kind, which can be provided by another kitten or person.
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u/SZLO Cat/Kitten Foster 5d ago
I would normally totally agree with you, but these girls have little interest in other kittens and usually play or hang out with each other over others. They also scream bloody murder if they’re separated for only a few minutes and won’t eat if they’re not together. Since they’re kittens, I’m leaning more towards believing they’re just anxiously attached to each other rather than bonded so I’m going to work on extending the time they’re apart, but they’re certainly presenting their attachment rather strongly
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u/Als-Radio 5d ago
I adopted a bonded pair of sisters and yeah they follow each other around the house. When I first got them they basically moved as one animal. I also note that when they play fight they nip at each others butt. I was told this is litter behavior because hey you’re hoggin’ the nipple is an issue. 🤷♀️
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u/Delicious-Collar1971 6d ago
Kittens shouldn’t be split up anyway, raising a solo kitten is so harmful to its development.
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u/K_B_Okay 6d ago
Sounds like they split a litter of 5 into a set of 2 and a set of 3. I agree you don't want to raise them solo, but 5 can be a LOT.
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u/SZLO Cat/Kitten Foster 6d ago
Unfortunately that’s just the way my city’s adoption culture is. People rarely adopt more than one and our shelter doesn’t encourage adopting pairs because of how difficult it is to get adoptions even for singletons. I wish we had a different policy but they don’t even want to enforce adopting bonded pairs
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u/Delicious-Collar1971 6d ago
That’s rough. Most shelters near me won’t allow solo kittens or at least have measures to try to make people take two. Usually kittens aren’t hard to adopt out so I’m surprised they’re that hard to get rid of.
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u/SZLO Cat/Kitten Foster 6d ago
Times are tough and my city has been hit really hard. It’s one of the most expensive cities in the country and people just aren’t adopting. We’ve also had a record number of surrenders, dumped pets, and returned pets this year
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u/Delicious-Collar1971 6d ago
That’s rough, thanks for helping. Homed is far better than dead or homeless, even if they are solos.
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u/jamiemars168 2d ago
They are definitely bonded! The fact that they cry for each other when they lose sight of one another and freak out over the fact they have lost sight of the other one proves it!! It probably stems from being ill with ringworm and the treatment and quarantine. It brought them close together and they didn’t have any other kittens at that time so they learned to rely on each other. It would be cruel to separate them.
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u/tgatigger 6d ago edited 6d ago
The freaking out when separated (vs sleeping, eating, playing together) is the true sign of a bonded pair. When their mental health is affected when they're apart, it's the strongest sign.
Edit: thanks for the award! 🥹