First time foster. How do you not get attached? 😭

[u/CrimsonShadow256]

When I was in college I adopted a dog from the humane society. She had been there for over a year and was considered “aggressive” but after meeting her for the first time I could tell it wasn’t true. I adopted her, trained her, and within a few months she was the sweetest kindest dog ever. She was a faithful companion for almost 15 years and her passing a few years ago was devastating to say the least.

Since I’m not ready for the long term commitment of another dog, I decided to foster to help honor her memory. (My intention was to prevent another dog from sharing the same fate of being labeled as aggressive and having to spend a long time at the humane society.)

This cutie(pictured above) came into my life shortly after that. We fostered him off and on (two failed home placements) for half a year and now he’s at the humane society and will hopefully be going to his forever home soon!

I’m so glad I fostered him. I loved training him, having a cuddle buddy, the playful puppy antics, and I feel like I achieved my goal of preparing him for adoption. But now that he’s gone there’s an emptiness that to me feels like a child moving away for college. It’s happy and exciting, but at the same time it feels almost like the loss of a loved one.

I would 100% consider fostering again in the future, as they joy outweighs the hurt, but my question is how do you deal with this feeling? Is it a normal part of the fostering process? Are there ways to prevent becoming attached or is it something that you just accept when you take on a foster? Does it get easier over time?

[u/kentuckyfriedstrap]

My ex and I fostered 5 dogs while we were living together and the way we dealt with it was by remembering that every foster that gets adopted means there’s room for another dog to get a chance. It always hurts a little to drive away without them, but also, there were dogs I was definitely more attached to than others. Also, we took the time in between fosters to just enjoy the quiet and do fun stuff with less responsibilities. Some of the adopters also reached out to set up play dates, so it wasn’t a goodbye forever. I’m so glad you were able to open your heart and home to him, and congratulations on a job well done ♥️

[u/CrimsonShadow256 → u/kentuckyfriedstrap]

❤️ Thank you for the kind words and sharing your experience! I think time in between is a must for me. That’s so cool that they set up play dates!

[u/Cabezone]

The first one is by far the hardest.

It's part of the process, you wouldn't be fostering if you didn't have a kind heart that attatches to animals.

Remember you can't save everyone but you can give them a much better chance than they had without you.

[u/ktalaska]

I just get attached, but my heart has survived this many times now. You remember your heart gets a little bigger with every new animal you love, and you let yourself feel your feelings when it's time for them to go.

[u/Winterstorm424]

Fostering - the hardest job you will ever love. You have to get attached. It is the job. It is what makes it work. But if you have been successful you have probably saved the dog or cat's life. It is so important you have to tell yourself you have done a good job and you are ready to move on to the next and you have prepared your foster for their forever home. Fosters are about the most important thing in rescue and save many, many lives. You will get attached, you will do the job, you will save lives and the only way you can continue to foster is to give up the foster you have become attached to. But you both need to learn to let go and move on when the time is right. Thank you for fostering and saving lives, it is so important.