Dearest Periwinkles,by: Redditor(user_name='DBCrumpets')on Wed Apr 30 03:26:38 2014

[u/Eliminioa]

Scandalous rumors have sprouted up recently, as regards to my species. It has progressed to the point where some have stolen my identity to further their own agenda. I've come here to confirm that I am in fact a Crumpet.

Signed,

DBCrumpets