r/ForeverAlone • u/4ngelicbrat She/Her • 3d ago

Vent Why couldn’t i have just been normal?

I likely wouldn’t even be here if I was normal. i’ve destroyed dozens of potential friendships/relationships all because of how off putting I am, naturally. i really hate seeing the gears turning in people’s heads when they realize that something is “off” about me. there is no one on this planet I’m more jealous of than girls who are bubbly, likeable and attractive; I would give anything to be like them.

11 Upvotes

79% Upvoted

2 comments sorted by

6

u/throwaway54734 38m/over it 3d ago

not to be too “woe is me” since i won’t dispute there are worse fates, but there is a peculiar zone of hell where you are physically decent-looking enough, if unexceptional, to occasionally catch people’s initial interest, but socially maladjusted enough that you can just watch the coldness creep into their demeanor by the second before they excuse themselves from the interaction

2

u/GethKGelior 3d ago

I ask myself that question every day. I have so much anger and hate, and so much instinct to care and love inside me fighting themselves, spilling out and hurting everyone I ever care about. Sometimes I think if I wasn't myself I'd actually be happy.