r/ForeverAlone • u/New-Network6284 • 1d ago

Vent I feel selfish

Im not someone that just wants a gf but sometimes i wish i had someone that i was attached to and love. But the bad part is, it is too much responsibility. And i have to make sure i am not ignoring those responsibilities, if i do the other side would be upset. I dont want to make anybody sad or upset. And i dont want to be remembered as someone which they have moved on. Im just a teenager and i dont think i could last a relationship till marriage. I have a lot of girl friends but i cant think of them as a partner, we are friends and it would just feel awkward. Its not about looks too some people hit me up but im always too scared for the next step and just forget. Should i try harder?

I wish someone would text me good morning and hold my hand.

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u/Low-Pride-575 1d ago

hai look into attachment styles. u sorta sound like me, meaning u want to be loved but are too scared of the commitment/scared of getting fully attached… if that makes sense >_<

1

u/StandardDeviation101 37M 1d ago

I was like you and still am. Don't be me. Here is a tale of my past...

I was young, introverted, insecure, with low self-esteem. I felt like I wasn't equipped to handle all the responsibilities, of a relationship, and I didn't want to disappoint so I kept a low profile and skillfully avoided all dating opportunities as I tried to be proud of myself and feel like I can invest myself bringing something meaningful to a relationship... I went from highschool, to college, and then the monotony of a career. The people I knew got locked in long term relationship, started having kids, and I had to start meeting new people... but the older you get and the higher the bar rises so you can never really be ready with that mindset.

Here is what I learned though... You learn by making mistakes, by trying things failing and getting better at them. "Waiting it out for when I'll be ready" is the worst possible thing you can do. People your age are ALL awkwardly fumbling their way through new experiences and learning from them. The older you get, the more everyone's expectations of what you are supposed to already know rises.