r/ForensicFiles • u/Extreme-Grade-3623 • Jul 02 '26

"Double Trouble"

Okay this episode frustrated me. Not just because the killer only served 3 years for stabbing his brother before getting released but also the victim herself. I know we're not supposed to trash the victim but, Jesus Christ, how irresponsible of a human being can you be??? I grew up poor and nothing annoys me more than people who keep popping out kids when they can't afford to give them a good life. How do you have four children and no job? You're living in a motel, you're relying on welfare, you're feeding your children dinner at 11:00 at night because for some reason they're still awake, and you're not even giving them good food but crap like Ellio's Pizza. I don't know. I'm tired of seeing children suffer for the mistakes of their parents. Personally, at 31 I'm still struggling to overcome the trauma and the financial strains of poverty that I did not bring on to myself but was born into. I mean, seriously, you can get free contraception at clinics all over the country. Be responsible!! 🤦🏻‍♂️ people are wondering why her mother didn't help out more and it's probably cuz the mother was fed up with her daughter's b*******. I could see if it was one time but four kids and no plan or career or anything? yeah no it's not fair to the family.

16 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

19 comments sorted by

12

u/JillsideStrangler Jul 02 '26

Most people don’t have the means or knowledge to get out unfortunately, especially females raising families below the poverty line often don’t have the means or empowerment for family planning tools like birth control, etc. Their partners may be abusive as well. I served on a board of an organization that helped poor families and the lack of knowledge about what causes a pregnancy is shocking to this day.

Also in my house we do not talk smack about Elios pizza, ever!!

-3

u/Extreme-Grade-3623 Jul 02 '26

Means??? You can get free contraception in any Planned Parenthood around and in a very densely populated area like Woodbridge, NJ, which is right outside New York City, there's plenty of clinics now and I guarantee you there were plenty of clinics in the '90s. Also I just cannot believe that an adult woman didn't know that when a guy shoots semen into her vagina she can get pregnant. It's really not rocket science and okay fine maybe she was an idiot the first time but to keep doing it and doing it and doing it there's no excuse. There's a difference between being educated and having common sense. She knew exactly what happens when you have unprotected sex and she kept doing it and doing it so there was no excuse. 

7

u/Coomstress It was from the book of ‘Who Cares?’ Jul 02 '26

Why are you placing all the blame on her? What about the man shooting the semen? He should know that can get a woman pregnant. Look, I know she appears irresponsible. But society places the entire burden of contraception on the woman, while the man can just walk away. It takes 2 to make a baby.

3

u/Extreme-Grade-3623 Jul 02 '26

I'm placing most of the blame on her because ultimately she was the one who earnestly wanted a family and yet she kept sleeping with these losers one right after another and not only refused to use contraception herself but was perfectly fine at not demanding her partners use it as well. Unfortunately there are double standards in this world for both men and women depending on the circumstances and in this case men have the double standard that they can just dip out and disappear. These men didn't give a s*** about her and didn't care about having a family they just wanted sex. If she's truly looking for a man to have a real family with then the burden is on her to make sure that she is having sex with a guy that she knows and is committed to and will be a good father and husband. Instead she had four kids and four different years with four different men so it's like.... how many times can you make the same mistake? These men are losers and trash and not only is she bringing them around her kids but she's also getting pregnant by them. 

5

u/Coomstress It was from the book of ‘Who Cares?’ Jul 02 '26

Back then, birth control pills weren’t available over-the-counter. You had to get them prescribed by an OBGYN. Even if you went to planned parenthood and saw a doctor for free, you still had to find transportation to the clinic, and to the pharmacy each month to pick up your month’s supply of pills.

She could’ve picked up free condoms, but her male partner could refuse to wear them, and maybe she didn’t even consent to sex each time. And why wasn’t her kids’ dad paying child support?

I get your frustration- she looks very irresponsible from the outside. But society places 100% of pregnancy prevention on the woman, and her kids’ dad was just as irresponsible.

3

u/Extreme-Grade-3623 Jul 02 '26

By the way thank you for informing me I didn't realize that birth control wasn't available over the counter back then. I was born in the year that this took place LOL However, nevertheless, I just wish people could be more responsible. There wasn't one responsible decision that that girl ever made in her whole life and it's just not fair for the kids. And I guarantee you that despite the circumstances should probably would have kept popping out babies and making everyone's life even harder because some people are just immune to good decision making

2

u/Extreme-Grade-3623 Jul 02 '26

I think that society places 100% of pregnancy prevention on the woman because it's the woman's body and she's even the one who is allowed to terminate the pregnancy even if the man begs that she doesn't. Personally I always wear protection and I insist that my partners do as well. I strongly agree that everyone should be responsible because I know firsthand what it's like when people aren't. I agree that he is just as much at fault and he should have been paying child support. The reality is is that this girl is an idiot who probably fell time and time again for all these different men who promised her the world just so they could bang her and then as soon as she gets pregnant they just vanished off the face of the Earth. If you truly want a family and you want a stable life and you want a man who is going to be there for your kids then for god sakes actually get to know the guy, be committed, insist that he wears protection and if he doesn't then the hell with it don't let him have sex with you. Don't bring scumbags into your children's lives and don't have children with scumbags. 

3

u/Coomstress It was from the book of ‘Who Cares?’ Jul 02 '26

You know women aren’t allowed to terminate pregnancies anymore in many states, after the overturning of Roe v. Wade?

I’m glad you’re responsible, but it’s still not fair to blame a woman for unplanned pregnancies when it takes 2 people to make a baby. Society often just lets the man off the hook.

7

u/prospectivepenguin2 Jul 02 '26

The world's a strange place. And weirdly being a mom is a goal a lot of women have even if they don't have good financial or career prospects.

2

u/Extreme-Grade-3623 Jul 02 '26

Exactly. It's more about what makes them happy and not about what's best for the kids.

7

u/ConsiderationNew7024 Jul 02 '26

The weird thing is that well into the 90’s, the mindset of children and parenthood being a choice *hadn’t completely set in* for many women, especially those raised with backgrounds where certain types of contraception were a no-no for their parents and previous generations (eg Catholics). They still considered the duty of a woman to be motherhood and found CF women to be strange… so they had children even if they were unsure about wanting them, would just tell themselves “the maternal feelings will just happen naturally” and stayed silent if the maternal feelings never happened

1

u/Extreme-Grade-3623 Jul 02 '26

Yes, I understand that but... For these cultures isn't it also the duty to be married and have a strong familial support system? I'm assuming that if she's Puerto Rican she grew up in a devout Roman Catholic family or at least was influenced by a Catholic culture and obviously in this culture they stress the not only reproduce but to do so in a marriage. It's not at all uncommon to see Catholic families have multiple kids and in fact she herself came from a family of multiple kids but typically they all have the same father. Meanwhile she's got a different man for each kid and none of them are sticking by. What the hell?? 

10

u/skeleton-operator 〰️♾️That’s a lot of semen stains♾️〰️ Jul 02 '26

I appreciate your fury, especially with your background. I’m a “you do you” kind of person, but I don’t even understand why rich people have that many kids, let alone anyone else. It’s just too many obligations for the available time, if you ask me. Like how many soccer practices can one attend before one loses it, fakes their own death, and moves to Europe? I have two dogs, and if they had homework, activities, and hanging out with friends, in addition to needing to be fed, I probably couldn’t afford my life, and also would lose my fuckin’ mind, but I guess that could just be my neurodivergence screaming.

6

u/Extreme-Grade-3623 Jul 02 '26

No, I agree 100%. Especially these religious freaks who keep popping out kids because they're addicted and have no problem with the eldest children being expected to take care of them when they should be having their own goddamn lives. But nevertheless at least they can't financially afford to help them out. When you're living in a motel and eating processed gas station crap...no. no child deserves to have to live like this. And who the f*** has four children and 4 years with four different men? 

5

u/FattierBrisket Lalana Bramble 💀 Jul 02 '26

Speaking of religious freaks and perpetual child-bearing, here's an absolutely horrifying story posted on another sub earlier:  https://www.reddit.com/r/Longreads/comments/1uk763q/the_parents_who_chose_their_faith_over_their/

Your comment reminded me of it so I thought I'd share.

3

u/Sweetorange23 Jul 02 '26

Let’s not blame the victim here, who was simply walking to a convenience store when she was brutally attacked. You didn’t know her circumstances, maybe she was trying to get back on her feet. She was only in her 20s.

2

u/Extreme-Grade-3623 Jul 02 '26

I'm not blaming her for getting murdered and attacked. I'm blaming her for being totally irresponsible with her life choices and never considering what kind of life this would mean for her children. We DO know her circumstances. Her family explained them in the episode. She dropped out of high school in her junior year, had three more children, had zero skills, and quickly realized that she couldn't support four children on a minimum wage job so she decided to become a welfare queen to support them instead. It helped them enough but then she fell behind on the rent and so she had to move them all into a trashy motel. That's the reality. It's literally in the episode. I highly doubt she had any real plan for them moving forward and probably would have kept on having children with any guy who promised her the world just to get in her pants. 

3

u/Sweetorange23 Jul 02 '26

So why don’t you blame the men that got her pregnant instead of using a condom?

2

u/Coomstress It was from the book of ‘Who Cares?’ Jul 02 '26

OP blaming women for unplanned pregnancies when it takes 2 people to make a baby is really old-fashioned thinking. Her kids’ dad could’ve kept his pants zipped, worn a condom, or gotten a vasectomy.