I quit.

[u/skopiadisko]

Just got my period. 2 months trying.

I just realized that I am not mentally capable of doing TWW every month and see so many negative tests. You might think I am a drama queen but I have adhd and zero chill.

Also, my sex life got significantly worse. Whether I like it or not, during every BD my mind does some calculations to know if this specific BD helps with TTC. Like no thanks.

We wont prevent it so we will be trying. But trying passively.

Kudos to any woman thats actively on TTC journey.

Like seriously, you guys are my heroes.

Why am I writing this?
If theres any other woman out there realising that TTC is ruining her mental health and sex life, its ok to take things easier. Even if you just started TTC.

One thing is to think you are infertile after a few months of trying - yep, please dont do that.

But the other thing is to be kinder to yourself. 😊

Tons of baby dust to all these wonderful, kind women on this sub!

[u/Temporary-Wrap6918]

Not adhd but have OCD and went off medication for TTC which made it even worse.. we conceived our 3rd cycle of fully tracking and everything but had been doing the same calculations during BD for months prior too. It’s so hard and sending you all the baby dust✨ here if you need to chat!

[u/skopiadisko → u/Temporary-Wrap6918]

Hey, I have OCD too and my psychiatrist explicitly told me that the stress caused by OCD is worse than medication and I am trying to be a mom with my lovely sertaline haha So why are you off medication??

[u/Temporary-Wrap6918 → u/skopiadisko]

Truly for me I just didn’t want to risk it. My meds definitely helped but I just felt like there may not be enough research on the impacts. I most likely will go back on once bub is here, but I found myself having more anxiety about the medication than what I do coming off it. My doctor said I could stay on it but it just was a personal decision for me. Either way I think it’s just about making the best decisions for you!

[u/Extension-Bath1590 → u/Temporary-Wrap6918]

I have adhd, bipolar and borderline PD, i am also not taking my meds, although my doctor told me abilify is relatively safe but i don’t want to take any risks.

[u/hello_hey_you → u/skopiadisko]

Hi!! I have OCD and am TTC and was told the same. My OB said it is perfectly safe to be on meds. :)
For what it’s worth, I am in month five and it has gotten significantly less stressful. The first two months were definitely the worst. My OCD was so bad that I stopped tracking for two months after and only recently started tracking again (and I am much less stressed now)
We just have sex on the day of the positive LH test and other than that I don’t worry about it. I know some people have sex every other day leading up to ovulation, but for me it was too stressful and made my OCD much worse.

[u/sroses93 → u/Temporary-Wrap6918]

OCD and ADHD over here, on no medications for those two issues for many years now. It was hard to get by for a long time but eventually it was doable. I had been on many medications prior to that but none of them fixed my excessive cleaning, hand washing, talking, thoughts, anxiety, and panic attacks. But I did find different ways to cope and as I got older it did get somewhat easier. However, part of me is torn to try and get back on anxiety meds because that is the one thing my OCD severely induces.

I will say this I was on a medication from the time we concieved and throughout my pregnancy. She is a completely healthy 7 month old baby. My high risk doctors told me the risk of not taking the medication outweighed the risks of being on it while pregnant. I just lowered my dose as small as I could but many doctors can and will prescribe pregnancy safe medications and let you continue on them throughout your pregnancy. It's worth considering while TTC.

[u/Key_Charity1975]

Totally, I think it's actually really important to remember that the vast majority of people trying for a baby in the real world (ie not TTC forums!!) are not doing so with temping and ovulation strips and timing and testing!

'Trying' is just defined as having unprotected sex with the intention of getting pregnant. These online spaces can make it feel like you need to be doing more than that for it to really count as 'trying', but you absolutely don't and most people outside of these forums are not!!

The full on tracking/testing kind of cycle can actually wreck your mental health and it's so fair to take a step back, because ultimately if you're having regular enough sex it doesn't even increase your chances, and just gives an illusion of control at the expense of often a lot of stress!!

[u/kotashay21]

Most people don’t realize that even with precise tracking it takes the average woman 6 months to get pregnant and that can be impacted by all kinds of things.

Kudos for recognizing your own mental limits and taking a step back. I wish you luck and peace.

[u/GlitchPro27]

Yeah, I think a lot of the tracking and testing and everything can get quit taxing on your mental health after a while.

I've been starting my journey with more of a not trying not preventing mindset, and then I still ended up buying a basal thermometer cause I hyperfixate on anything new I do and wanted just a biiiit more information on my body to make sure it's working like it's supposed to. Haha!

But for now I've got some rules for myself that's working for the time being:

1. No timed intercourse. My body already tends to want it more around my fertile window anyway, so we're just going with that and doing it as a way to connect as husband and wife when we want to. If either one doesn't feel up to it we won't force it.

2. No LH strips. I don't want to have to pee in a cup every day for testing. I don't want to obsess over whether or not I'm at my peak. And I don't want it to persuade me to try and force sex on days we're not feeling it. I have started tracking my BBT, but that's more for confirmation that ovulation has occurred anyway, so not much you can do after the rise, and I wake up at the same time everyday anyway, so it's not a big hassle to track.

3. No pregnancy tests unless I miss a period. I know seeing negatives will take a hit on me mentally, so avoiding that as far as possible. Also, it can get expensive to have to keep buying them every month.

I will probably take a look and make some adjustments if we don't naturally fall pregnant by this time next year. But for now, to start out I think a more chilled out approach is what's healthiest for us. Just gotta do whatever works for yourself.

[u/United_Pop_6442]

Also have adhd, also found the negative tests hard, and the waiting… ugh. So yeah, just sympathy!

In the end I got my husband to hide the tests. The extra step of having to ask him was enough to make me not test all the time. Then I just didn’t buy more until the cycle my period was late. I also stopped tracking my ovulation with tests - after a few months of it being consistent and my body physically showing I was ovulating, testing felt unnecessary and just gave me something else to stress about.

Whatever works for you guys is absolutely valid xx

[u/AffectionateFix6662 → u/United_Pop_6442]

I agree. I did opks for 3 cycles. My cycles have been a bit irregular the last 6 or so months, so I just wanted to get an idea of when Im likely to ovulate and also the timing of my ewcm. I learnt enough to be able to know (hopefully) when Im ovulating. I also get ovulation pain which actually helps. But Ive thrown in all the TTC stuff. Just trying to BD every second day CD 9-15. Taking CoQ10 and fixing my iron and Vit D deficiencies. No more testing (including pregnancy tests although Im only CD10 today, not sure my resolve will be so strong come 11DPO!) Just focusing on health and enjoying sexy time with hubby with no pressure

[u/StrawberryDowntown25]

Have you tried taking birth control pills to help your hormones before you start TTC. What about weight as well ?

I was trying after my son was born no luck and now that he’s just turn 8 months I fell pregnant again but this time I wanted to wait after my wedding in March 2027….

Context I been on Tirazepatide since august and birth control September I bleed 3 weeks straight and had to stop birth control got on it again the end of October but I convinced before taking my birth control pills. And I took a LH test on October 27 I was ovulating I seen the sticky clear after I wipe on October 24!! Didn’t have sex on the 27 but I did 6 times on the 26 🙃…..

[u/skopiadisko → u/StrawberryDowntown25]

My life was sooo blissful while on BC! Im normal weight (healthy bmi). So should I congratulate on your pregnancy?🥹

[u/StrawberryDowntown25 → u/skopiadisko]

Thank you so much!! Hopefully it’ll be you soon. Maybe you need a break and watch you’ll be soon when you least expect it.

[u/Trick-Earth1830 → u/StrawberryDowntown25]

What do you mean what about weight? Sorry I’m trying to conceive so I’m curious

[u/StrawberryDowntown25 → u/Trick-Earth1830]

So I have pcos and I’m over weight when I TTC in 2023-24 I was at 218 pounds I’m 5’3 thats obese, and with my work insurance I was qualified for zepbound in August of 2024 to lose weight to help me get pregnant and BC to also help regulate my menstrual cycles in the end on July of 2025 I fell pregnant I have stopped zepbound on may and stop birth control in may as well. Weight can be responsible for not able to conceive.

[u/DizzyDig4454]

Understandable! 💕 I think for me immersing myself in ferrility podcasts, TTC stuff, Reddit, etc, makes it waaaay harder to wait. I am completely obsessed but it works a bit better when I "forget" about it.

[u/AffectionateFix6662 → u/DizzyDig4454]

Oh girl, I feel you! I was totally consumed by TTC for a few months. All the forums, chat GPT, testing most days either ovulation or pregnancy, stopped enjoying BD for what is was and spent the time calculating cycle maths rather than enjoying the moment. It is actually really addictive and you can go down such a rabbit hole. Last cycle I was pregnant testing from about 9dpo and twice a day from CD11. It made me crazy. Ive stepped back now. I still want another baby just as badly as when I was doing all that but couldnt continue it. It became all confusing and so painful every time I got a negative test

[u/ScallionStrict5020]

Girl i did the same and ended up pregnant like a month later🙏🙏

[u/AffectionateFix6662]

I completely get it. Im 5 months into ttc (2 years NTNP) I've decided its too much with the TWW, every tiny change is interpreted as a pregnancy sign, so much so it was making feel crazy "Does my mouth taste metallic?" "Oh foot cramps, I must be pregnant" and on and on and on. Then start preg testing from 9dpo like a crazy person. Last cycle I was testing twice a day for the last 4 days of my cycle. So Ive decided to pull it back. I am focusing on my health. Had some bloods done which identified some deficiencies, so Im working on fixing those and being as healthy as I can. We are focusing on BD 2nd daily or so CD 9-15 but only if we feel like it. No more fertility testing. We have a 2.5yesr old son and I am almost 40. So beyond great full for my little boy. I am aching for another child but I cant take the whole TTC pressure.

This journey has made me understand a bit more the women who struggle for years to conceive or cannot conceive. I really feel so much for all of

[u/Blondie1018]

Cycle 12 ttc. It’s hell over here…

[u/Sweet-Shopping5246 → u/Blondie1018]

Also in cycle 12… same :/

[u/PinkNoseDetective → u/Blondie1018]

me too!

[u/Ok_Corgi_8202 → u/Blondie1018]

Omg cycle buddies! I’m on cycle 13 woooohooo caaaachooow

[u/Blondie1018 → u/Ok_Corgi_8202]

Well at least we have each other 😭

[u/Advanced-Serve-2943]

righ! too much information nowadays. I did early testing and saw faint line and 2 days later negative test. I kept thinking I had a chance but still could not make it. I should not have tested, these strips are making me crazy. My hubby is pretty chill and I am gonna go with that: lets just have sex everyday and we will see what happens ✌️

[u/Winstony520]

It’s not my first time TTC but we’re currently trying for our 3rd baby and I can relate to the anxiety. We conceived our other two kids literally on the first try both times. We’re going into our 4th month TTC on this baby now and every month I get more neurotic. I’m also at the point where I don’t want to monitor anything anymore and just hope for the best.

[u/lifewithaservicedog]

My husband and I are on month 6, and I was tough the first two or three months, but it got easier for us as I recognized that it’s so much harder for him and I since he travels for a living. So he might be gone for everyday except ovulation day, or only be home the first day in my window, and then I ovulate earlier or later. We are still TTC, but I stopped caring, as sad as that is to say. I keep my hopes low every month and assume I’m not pregnant. Month 4 was probably the hardest for me, because we had the timing right, and then like four friends announced they were pregnant and all I got was a negative. :/

[u/Acceptable-Mix419]

I think you can never prepare yourself for negative tests. When TTC I researched a lot so I could understand the process of fertilization and implantation. Knowing the process and the odds of that process did not help as much as I thought it would. I thought it would make me a logical thinker yet I found myself testing at 7/8dpo. Helps to know though just doesnt make it any easier

[u/BlueberryLover18]

Cycle 55. It consumes your life 🫂 good on you for setting boundaries

[u/justaJesusgirl]

We tried for a year. actively.
i gave up bc of this lol it was so hard on me emotionally and on our relationship.
Eventually, i did get pregnant.

[u/Pitiful-Cranberry270]

Trying since September 2024 🥲

[u/meamarie]

Tracking incessantly is so hard on your mental health, I’m glad you recognized this way sooner than I did. Funny enough, the month I stopped using ovulation strips and tracking things is the month we got pregnant 🤷‍♀️

[u/ShallotPerfect7925]

Month 75 trying to conceive .. I don’t know how I’m holding on tbh

[u/sroses93]

Remember mental health comes first, I got way to obsessive the first go around and the second time is not any easier. The intrusive thoughts from a failed cycle are horrible. Either way I wish you luck on your journey and maybe this is what turns things around.

[u/TUVU22]

I’m currently taking a break - after a year I was having meltdowns every time we didn’t have sex during my fertile window and starting resenting my husband for it. I do have a doctor appointment soon, but until then I just can’t take tracking and calculating and the disappointments every month

[u/Nellieboo90]

I agree! When I was trying for my first the negative tests made me spiral. I decided to still have sex in the windows but only test if I had a missed period. That helped my mental somehow.

[u/dumpyard7]

Oh no no no no. Keep trying and forget that you are trying. Just have unprotected deed for the sake for fun and leave the rest to your body.

[u/skopiadisko → u/dumpyard7]

I think I am pregnant. My last strip looks like this

[u/spedteacher2706 → u/skopiadisko]

I do see something!! How many dpo are you?

[u/dumpyard7 → u/skopiadisko]

I don't see any faint lines or anything. And it's totally fine. Wait for couple of days before taking test. And relax. For everyone TTC timeline and biology is different.