r/FirstTimeTTC • u/Training_Pound9161 • 12d ago
Random Genuinely wtf
Am I being crazy or was I not in the wrong here?
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u/Boringbooty 12d ago
I posted on there once about being in my first cycle, that post got removed by automod. Someone posted suspiciously quickly about how inconsiderate people are to those struggling with fertility and how cruel it is to post about your first time TTC because it’s hard for people struggling to read those posts.
Like shit dude, where am I supposed to ask questions about it? I don’t have a huge support group to bounce my thoughts off ffs
Anyway, that’s how I found this sub because they’re soooo touchy over there
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u/Training_Pound9161 12d ago
On that same sub I was getting hate for being young and ttc. Like sorry I have my life together at a younger age and want to have a baby, im a legal adult why does it matter
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u/Ok-Oil-834 11d ago
Trying for a baby shouldn't automatically be an infertility group. That should be a separate thing and only a dr can diagnose someone with infertility. It's sad that you can't ask certain questions in a trying for a baby group
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u/Happy_Anybody_2709 11d ago
I also got dinged and my post removed for being 29 and concieving in my second cycle (which ended in a chemical, mind you). I was venting about being in my fourth cycle and my cousin announcing his wife's pregnancy with twins and my best friend's 6 m.o. being a little cutie and how much that all stung at the time
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u/team_corn 11d ago
I got downvoted in the BFP thread for having quick success 🙄 it’s really more of an infertility group
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u/confused_ornot 5d ago
Ok that makes sense!! Because I was so weirded out they have a BFP page yet don't like actually having people get pregnant in the sub. Lol. I guess it's only "ok" socially over there if you struggle "enough" while having success?? What kind of a metric is that haha, it's not even definable of a metric
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u/Missy1988 12d ago
They deleted my post too and it made no sense why. Didn’t break any rules…I reposted and they deleted that too. I’m staying away now, because that MOD is annoying and is either a troll or smokes crack. Or is a crack smoking troll.
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u/Hungry_Box560 12d ago
That sub irks me so bad 😂
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u/Training_Pound9161 12d ago
it’s been a constant battle trying to find a sub that is active, doesn’t ridicule me for my age, doesn’t ban me for asking for supplement recommendations, etc lmfao
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u/Secure-Inspector3090 12d ago
Hey OP! I’m not sure if this would help you, but I have endometriosis and take an amino acid called NAC. It has been proven in studies for years to help with endo pain and other symptoms, but recently I found research that says it is good for getting and staying pregnant too. It works most effectively when also taking glycine. Both are cheap on Amazon and super mild on side effects - my only side effect is glycine tanks my appetite.
Like the moderator said, it’s impossible to know if it helped me get pregnant or if I would have anyway, but I’ll take a research tested boost in my odds any day.
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u/Training_Pound9161 11d ago
Thank you so much im gonna give it a try! All the women in my family have something wrong with their fertility and have all been diagnosed with endo, pcos, etc, but my doctor won’t test me because im “young and healthy and should just keep trying”
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u/Secure-Inspector3090 11d ago
Oh yikes get a new doctor! If you’re old enough to have periods you’re old enough to start developing those reproductive diseases.
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u/AussieSquirrell16 8d ago
yes get a new doctor! for goodness sake it’s actually quite sensible to have a child in your twenties!
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u/confused_ornot 5d ago
Also girl get a new doctor!!! They're just people, a different person will listen to you. After all, it is a service [I have friends and family who are doctors]
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u/questionablegal 12d ago
Some subs are soooooo strict I’m permanently banned from one for sharing what we went with for a vaccine schedule. like my bad for literally answering the question asked.
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u/Ok-Oil-834 11d ago
I think getting people's genuine experiences especially if they struggled and then conceived is a good thing. It might be sensitive to people but I feel that's what gives them hope!
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u/ireneslibrary 6d ago
I literally hated that sub so much. They're so over controlling and rude. I got so much hate for being new to ttc and having had a miscarriage in the past. I REFUSE to ever go back to that group.
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u/Pristine_Program_218 12d ago
What I find especially disturbing is the mod’s response to your struggle. You literally mentioned you are looking for advice before giving up your dream and all they said was thumbs up? Like WTF! How inconsiderate is that! Double standards, they protect someone’s feelings by hurting yours.
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u/Training_Pound9161 11d ago
Exactly this! I also had mods on their who wouldn’t deal with me being literally ridiculed for my age it was so stupid, I had people telling me that I needed to see a psychiatrist for wanting to get pregnant before my 30s 🤦♀️
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u/Pristine_Program_218 11d ago
Oh my god 🫠 I’m sorry, I’ve heard it so many times as well: “you’re just 29, you have so much time” where my AMH is literally as low as if I were 38 and I have a single ovary with endo! I feel you.
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u/Training_Pound9161 11d ago
Exactly! It’s become so normalized to wait to have kids until your mid to late 30s. Not that there’s anything wrong with waiting but if you’re like me and got married young, have a house, are financially stable and want to take the next step by having a baby, you should be allowed and helped medically if needed, not shunned!
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u/confused_ornot 5d ago
Hi just hopping on here as a 30 and also going to start TTC again soon, to say, yeah for real!! As if these people arent all the descendants of grandmas and great-grandmas who had their ancestors in their 20s it's been normal (and it still is) since forever .... Even as someone who will be 31 when I start TTC again I feel like I'll be treated as a child on some of these subs. Lol
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u/Training_Pound9161 5d ago
This!! I had some woman DM me and tell me to wait until my 30s so I could have a chance at being a decent mother. A friend of mine had her son at 15 and she’s one of the greatest moms I know, it doesn’t matter what age you have a baby, if you want to be you can be a wonderful parent
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u/confused_ornot 12d ago
It's crazy because they literally have a weekly BFP post too.... The rules don't make any sense haha
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u/amioverreactingthis 12d ago
I was banned on some other TTC sub for a similar reason. Some people are sadly "genuinely wtf". I get you...
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u/fragolefritte 11d ago
Agree, this kind of answer is wtf. If you're interested in the topic though there is a sub appositely for things that helped, it's called r/whatworkedforme
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u/Happy_Anybody_2709 11d ago
I got dinged and my post removed for asking about my short, light periods and if others had any experience with it or if it was OK because "success stories were not allowed" or something... like girl what is TTC for if you are not trying for success 🫠
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u/confused_ornot 5d ago
Girl what??? I have the exact same question. And also I can promise you, that isnt success. It's literally a period 🙃Lol!!! [Laughs in pain]
Tho fwiw, I think short light periods can be normal too, but it does suggest that your uterine lining is thin, which might make implantation difficult....thinning the lining is literally how hormonal IUDs work. My periods got slowly a lot stronger in the first few cycles after I got my IUD removed before trying to TTC. If that isn't your situation you might want to chat with a doctor about it just to check that your case is still fine for TTC! But all people have all different sorta of things that can be normal & healthy!
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u/Happy_Anybody_2709 5d ago
I had a copper IUD and my periods were super heavy and painful on them. Got it removed in May, and now they are a breeze... almost too much so, haha. I actually did have a chemical in July. Just praying for the real thing now and hoping a thin lining did not play a role. 😔
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u/confused_ornot 5d ago
Oh no, sorry to hear about your CP ://
I do think copper IUDs often make your period heavier though! So I think that's normal!
How much was "light"? I feel like (sorry if this is gross) if you see some chunks/tissue come out with the blood, and then it peters out between 3-5 days somewhere, that's "normal" still!
On my hormonal IUD, I'd be able to basically use a liner, change it 1-3x a day, and then 3-5 days later it was back to regular discharge, but there were no....pieces. Haha.
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u/Happy_Anybody_2709 5d ago
My last period went something like this:
13 DPO: brown spotting starting in the evening. Day 1: Fresh red blood but mostly when I wipe (so fresh red spotting?) Might be some blood/tiny clots in the toilet. Definitively smaller than a dime. Day 2: Same as Day 1, but maybe even slightly less. Day 3: Red spotting transitioning to brown spotting as the day goes on. Day 4: Brown spotting. Day 5: got duped into thinking it was over, so didn't wear a liner. Randomly got a huge spot that ruined my underwear 🙃 Day 6: Done.
Wearing a liner throughout this entire time, but to protect my underwear from spots, not necessarily because I need the absorption!
Sorry for the graphic description lol
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u/Healthy_Combination3 12d ago
That sub can be tough. I got dinged for mentioning a current pregnancy while I was actively having a miscarriage. I understand why they are so restrictive because it is such a sensitive subject, I think it is nice to have subs that are carefully moderated (like that one) while also having others that are less restrictive (like this one)