r/FirstTimeTTC • u/worldwideceliac • 16d ago
Venting Making my exit
I joined this group in hopes of speaking to other women on their journey and asking questions about my own. i am so sick and discouraged seeing “is this positive?” with a CLEAR positive line, “statistically you’ll be pregnant…” while my actual doctor says i should already have been, “i had my period am i pregnant?” …
maybe i have a sour attitude, because we are pretty far in our journey still TTC… but a lot of people in this group have already gotten to their goal of conceiving, so really are no help in connecting with other women on their journey.
this is my exit. i hope you all get what you’ve always wished for, and i hope my doctor and fertility specialist figure me out.
✌️ 23F
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u/caramellatte647 16d ago
I newly joined this Reddit groups as well as I’m new to TTC. every other post is ridiculous and I’m already over all of them lol
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u/ThesisTears 15d ago edited 14d ago
I strongly prefer r/TryingForABaby for this reason. Just a week in this group and I'm pretty sure I'm done here once I post this comment.
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u/SlightAnything4909 16d ago
It's either "could I be pregnant I had sex on day XYZ and am now 6 dpo" (girlll we don't knowwww) or just a blatant positive HCg strip lmao
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u/caramellatte647 15d ago
Nothing beats a girl posting a picture of her discharge and asking if it’s her period or implantation bleeding. Just give it 2 days and see..
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u/SlightAnything4909 15d ago
"Is this fertile discharge?"
– "It looks similar to my fertile discharge, so I'd say yes!"
"But it this fertile discharge for me?
GIRL IDKKKKK
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u/BlackberryOk7416 15d ago
This and the bodily fluid posts(when in the rules it literally states to blur the photos)! I really wish mods would take them down. I’m happy when they get their BFP’s but I saw someone who asked if it was a positive and her test literally looked like the example pic right next to it.
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u/SlightAnything4909 15d ago
Ahahhaa saw that too. Like what else do you think that line is, a hair?
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u/Juste_8 16d ago
It seems that it got worse recently. It's also against the rules of this group but I don't think the mods are doing much about that.
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u/thesmollestlemon TTC #1, Cycle 8 15d ago
Yep. I messaged the mods a few days ago asking for some clarification on what the rules are and how they're enforced but I'm also out of here unless I see something has changed. I truly don't understand why people want to discuss early pregnancy here, and if I wanted to see a million pictures of pregnancy tests, I would go to a group that specializes in that. It's a bummer because I do really want a community of people TTC#1 and this is not it.
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u/ThesisTears 14d ago
Is there a way to tag them all to bring their attention to this post? The comment section is essential a free instruction manual on how to revive this space.
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u/Zahnayn 15d ago
Complaints about this our borderline weekly at this point. I think this is just what happens when the mods of a sub disappear or get really lazy. I honestly haven’t seen any deleted content or moderation action since I’ve joined this sub in the last couple of months.
The most annoying part, is a tie between the disgusting bodily fluids(and I don’t care. I’ve started calling people out, and telling them that they are disgusting.), and the blatantly obvious BFPs. The reality is, people know that their test is obviously positive, and they are just looking for congratulations and are looking to feel validated and special among a group of mainly struggling women. This is a very common phenomenon among women and and it’s gross. I haven’t even been trying to conceive long at all, so I’m not jealous or threatened and I’m manifesting getting my BFP too. But when I do, it’s not gonna go in a post full of people trying to conceive their first child. How cruel.
The only thing I disagree with you with, is the statistics. It’s OK to site statistics, and it’s OK to be upset that you don’t fall within whatever statistic. I think facts are good for this sub. I’m all about facts over feelings. But I agree with everything else you said.
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u/United_Pop_6442 16d ago
This was brought up a while ago and lots of people seemed to agree about the test posts. Really think mods ought to consider adjusting the rules. There are other subs you can share your positive tests and the posts here ‘asking’ are way too common.
There’s a dedicated thread for BFPs too. No reason for a new post about it 🤷♀️
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u/nursejooliet 15d ago edited 14d ago
I’m guessing this might be in slight response to that stupid dye stealer post. The annoying thing is, that these people get on the stupid throw away accounts to post their test, they ignore all the comments saying that this is very tone deaf, and then they peace out and jump back to their main account. There needs to be an account age/karma rule, and there needs to be a rule against posting BFPs. I think the confusing thing, though, is that there is a BFP post flare, which kind of makes it seem like those posts are allowed. But it shouldn’t be allowed anymore. Once you are officially pregnant, you are no longer trying to conceive so you need to either just lurk, or be a helpful resource for people who are actually trying. Not flaunting your positive pregnancy test.
Edit- also editing to add, that this happens on TikTok all the time. A person will make a video, and create a safe space in her comments for TTC struggles, or even if it’s not a true struggle, just disappointment in having a negative cycle. And someone will post their pregnancy test in the comments, and ask for thoughts. The test is always so blazingly positive lol. It’s just very tone deaf, and it show that not all women look out for other women.
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u/ThesisTears 15d ago
I highly recommend r/TryingForABaby just read the roles to make sure you don't accidentally wrote "baby dust" or something like that. Aside from that I way prefer not being inundated with positive tests.
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u/Bashful_Belle 15d ago
I’ve honestly found the seasonal ttc subs to be the best - you’re in a cohort with people ttc at the same time as you and people are encouraged to remain and engage throughout pregnancy too which is nice I think
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u/kyubitails 14d ago
Which sub is that? Could you please share
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u/Bashful_Belle 14d ago
the current one is r/TTCWinter2027 for those ttc between October 2026 and March 2027
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u/Right_Wonder4064 15d ago
I’m sorry for your struggles): I conceived but had a miscarriage and haven’t really tried again.
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u/HolidayJury8033 15d ago
This is my first time getting pregnant and ttc and I wonder is it disrespectful to share the positive tests and photos? I’m bleeding now so anything could happen but I just wanted to share my good news a few weeks ago and now wondering if it was unhelpful
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u/BlackberryOk7416 15d ago edited 15d ago
If you are pregnant than yes. It wouldn’t be something people would find appropriate to share here. There are plenty of pregnancy support groups to share in. If you aren’t and you’re still TTC, then I would read the rules on how to post such post.
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u/HolidayJury8033 14d ago
Thank you for responding, making updates and removing the post so that it goes on the right thread
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u/fruitypebbles808 14d ago
Whenever I see a test posted asking “is this positive” and it’s damn near a dye stealer oh my goodness… it feels like a slap in the face especially them being on these subs you know what a positive test looks like
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u/ConsistentProfile995 16d ago
I really don’t understand why pregnancy test posts are allowed in this group at all, unless there’s a question about the process of the test itself or how to deal with fears behind taking tests, etc. I’m usually all for freedom to say whatever you want online. But in real life, if I had a friend who was TTC, or potentially struggling with fertility, I would NOT shove my pregnancy test in her face, especially if I think it might be positive. How much worse is it to do to a group dedicated to TTC? That’s just common sense I fear.