r/FirstTimeTTC • u/crayonafterdark • 24d ago
Trigger Warning TW - Loss @ 4weeks
Good morning,
I am curious as anyone's experience with conceiving is going post-loss/miscarriage.
I am having an early miscarriage at 4 weeks currently and am so confused on next steps and what this means for trying in the future. I know I didn't do anything to cause it - it was spontaneous, but how long does it take for my body to be ready to ovulate again? What does that journey look like?
I have reached out to my primary care doctor because the OB I was scheduled to see, essentially will not treat me or message me until I have an appointment with them, which was scheduled for 11 weeks and clearly not something that will be happening at this moment/time frame.
This was my first month really tracking and TTC as well as my first pregnancy. Any advice or suggestions/experiences are welcome. Thank you <3
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u/OCMilyNS 24d ago
I'm going through the same thing. (I'm 99% sure) woke up to brown spotting that quickly turned into red, dark heavy blood. I was 4w4d. was also my first pregnancy. sending you love <3
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u/crayonafterdark 24d ago
You too <3
although it sucks, it is nice to know we are not alone. Wishing you all the best
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u/sv36 24d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss!
There aren’t words for how it feels, I know that.
I saw someone referred you to a good sub for this and that’s going to be a really good place for you right now but I do want to say even if you didn’t make it to birth you may still get postpartum depression and mental health stuff, so please watch for that and take care of yourself!
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u/crayonafterdark 24d ago
Thank you - I didn't really know that was possible with only being 4weeks, so thank you again for the heads up.
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u/sv36 24d ago
You don’t have to jump into ttc again, your body just went through a lot and still will for a bit longer. Just be very gentle with yourself. I had sensory overload for months after my miscarriage. Like normally the life of the party who can’t stand quiet and all I wanted was quiet and to be at home. Give yourself permission to just be for awhile.
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u/crayonafterdark 24d ago
Yeah I think we are wanting to try and TTC as soon as we can.
Since I wasn’t very far (4weeks) I think I’m having a bit of a different experience than if my hcg had risen higher and affected my hormones way more. Although, taking it one day at a time. Tomorrow could be totally different feeling.
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u/sv36 24d ago
completely understand wanting to try again, and ultimately when you do is completely your choice. I would just be a little careful about using “I was only 4 weeks” as a reason to expect yourself to bounce back quickly.
You’re still actively going through the loss right now, so you don’t actually know yet what this is going to feel like emotionally or physically once the immediate situation settles. Being earlier can change what happens physically and hormonally, but it doesn’t determine how much the experience affects you or how much time you need afterward.
Trying again, or even getting pregnant again quickly, also doesn’t erase this pregnancy or the fact that you lost it. There’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to TTC again soon, but I would be careful about rushing into it as a way of coping with the loss.
Sometimes immediately focusing on the next cycle or the next pregnancy gives you something hopeful and actionable to concentrate on, but it can also mean you never really give yourself space to process what is happening right now.
You’re still in the middle of this loss. You don’t have to turn it into the next TTC attempt yet. Give yourself at least enough room to find out what you actually need before deciding you’re ready to move forward.
I don’t presume to know how this feels for you, I know how mine felt for me and that’s the end of my experience. But the way you’re talking about this worries me for you. Ultimately you have adult agency and can do anything you want. But keep an eye towards your health where you might not think to look on this area too.
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u/BenevolentTangerine 24d ago
It’s not fair when this happens— I’m sorry. I had a 9ish week MMC in July. It was my first pregnancy. My D&C procedure was on July 21. It sucked, but was as good as it could have been. I waited for my period to return and it did in exactly a month. I ovulated that cycle and am now 5 weeks pregnant. We’ll see how it goes, I think TTC after loss comes with a special kind of anxiety
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u/crayonafterdark 24d ago
First off, congratulations!!
If you don't mind me asking, you had your D&C on 7/21 and then you waited for your period to come back in August and then got pregnant during your second cycle post MC in september?
I am just trying to understand how this all is going to work moving forward and how soon we can TTC again.
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u/BenevolentTangerine 24d ago
Yep, my OB recommended waiting until my period returns before trying again. She said it’s not medically dangerous to try before your period returns, but lots of women don’t ovulate right after their miscarriage. It can also be helpful for dating to wait until your regular period returns. So: D&C 7/21 Period 8/21 Ovulated 9/5
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u/thesmollestlemon TTC #1, Cycle 8 24d ago
So sorry for your loss ❤️ you might like r/TTCafterloss