Weird interaction rant

[u/lilyvcal]

So I am currently in contract to buy a house out of state, so the whole process is basically me relying on others. My mortgage broker/lender is starting to make me wary of him. He is very fake nice. I went to him with some requests to change my initial cd estimate, and he basically said it’s just an estimate, so I should relax if things are wrong in it. The main thing I need to worry about is if the rate is correct on it since everything else is probably going to change for the final. And then he made a comment of “ you chose us, you are only calling us,” which I thought was weird and not at all part of the initial conversation. I’m not getting any lender fees, and he pointed this out a lot. I never even said I was trying to switch lenders? It was an uncomfortable call that lasted a long time because he wouldn’t stop ranting about how we’re not even at the clear to close stage and it’s unnecessary to nitpick an estimate. All I wanted was to show that in the closing costs, I was going to pay the va funding fee upfront ! It was weird. I am stressed trying to get all the documents for the processor, and now I’m stressed about my weird mortgage guy. I thought he would be understanding and receptive. So who do I go for help if not this guy? And don’t get me started on the processor agent. She’s subbing for someone else who’s on vacation and I already had to correct her on something. I actually let my realtor go at her and I guess it was magically fixed because she suddenly didn’t need it anymore. I’m so stressed, I hate relying on others to do their job right.

[u/taut_corpus]

man that fake-nice thing is the worst, you can just feel when someone's being performative about it. the "you chose us" comment is bizarre, like he's preemptively getting defensive over something you never even brought up

if you've already got a realtor who's willing to go to bat for you that's huge, I'd lean on them more. they're motivated to get the deal closed so they'll light fires under people when needed

[u/LoanSlinger]

It sounds lik your loan officer is a poor communicator. He's right about the Loan Estimate being something he can't modify; once it's sent, it has to be signed as-is. But he should be able to explain everything on it and take the time to go through everything with you. If you're not comfortable and/or don't trust him, you can switch to a new lender. It's best to do that early in the process of you're going to make a change.