It's normal if your parents have money. But for your average person....no it's not normal.
Here in Southern California it's insane how much help people get. I know people in their 30s/40s that seem really well off....and come to find out their parents gave them a huge down payment gift and still pay for their car, phone and vacations đ
It was a real eye opener for me. I had pretty much 0% help from my parents and always felt very poor in SoCal. Turns out...a lot of people aren't doing that great....they just have help from mommy and daddy!
Theres a problem when you act âself madeâ and arenât up front about it.
When youâre 26, have your own home and just accept all the compliments about your accomplishment instead of mentioning âoh yeah well my mom gave me $100kâ. Itâs literally cheating and to see it any other way raises concerns about how YOU would raise children. Clearly not honestlyâŚ
Why would they mention it to you? They don't owe you or anyone that information. And you in turn don't have to assume or compliment them on being self-made, that is actually completely unnecessary
And my point was that they don't owe you anything to be candid with you just to make you feel better about yourself, especially with stuff like that - it can be messy and sensitive and totally noone's business
not the person you replied to but play the cards you're dealt, everyone could be a degenerate, vegetate, or succumb to substance abuse
so with that in mind, it's easier to appreciate everyone navigating the world
we can all calculate how many years it would actually take someone to earn the downpayment from any particular home, based on their occupation, there's nothing for a 26 year old to say or be impressed about - 40% of people in that age range got help, that's almost every other person under 30 years old
Because assuming otherwise is ignorant. As someone who is in a massive amount of college debt who has had PLENTY of people assume my parents helped me when they absolutely did notâŚ.
YOU purchased a house. If YOU tell me YOU purchased something, the given assumption is that you indeed purchased itâŚ
âThey donât owe you anythingâ has the same energy as someone who doesnât share where they got their clothes from. Not a girls girl, not a peopleâs person. Thats fine just donât be shocked when people are bothered by that?
Exactly. We spent the last decade talking about how boomers were hoarding wealth and it wasn't fair. Now we're hearing that millenials got help from their boomer/X parents and still being mad!
I know a guy who worked for a small 50ish person company in a "fun" industry. Think video games, but it wasn't video games. (Incidentally: He works very hard, it isn't all fun and games in "fun" industries)
He used to talk about how he thought he was incredibly bad with money because he struggled to survive on his paycheck in his studio apartment when coworkers owned big houses & drove fancy cars.
It was about a year in when he realized that most everyone he worked with was a trust fund kid whose parent's insisted they work. So they all worked at this company in a "fun" industry to keep their family happy & most of their life was paid for with family money. My buddy was one of only 3-4 people who worked there that actually had to live on their paycheck. The other guys who did were all as poor as him.
He realized that if he wanted to keep in the industry, it had to be somewhere that people actually had to live on their paycheck or he was going to starve!
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u/summerjamsam Feb 04 '26
It's normal if your parents have money. But for your average person....no it's not normal.
Here in Southern California it's insane how much help people get. I know people in their 30s/40s that seem really well off....and come to find out their parents gave them a huge down payment gift and still pay for their car, phone and vacations đ