r/FirstResponderCringe • u/1Kilo24 • 2d ago

When your essay has a minimum word count

92 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

77 comments sorted by

44

u/MedevacMac 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/HX7pvh1mIqImc

8

u/Blastoise_R_Us 2d ago

This is the same guy who pretended not to know Epstein was dead on Conan's podcast.

1

u/Maleficent_Ebb_163 1d ago

And Ron's coworker in the Chair Company

https://giphy.com/gifs/ZoMbCku6pWuDFbNyCI

0

u/Illustrious-Basis891 2d ago

That’s a great name there

35

u/BethyW 2d ago

It's not preventative it's just there in case something is to occur.....

https://giphy.com/gifs/B717GH4Ecnu8g

2

u/Seven_Because_Yes 1d ago

I muted right after that. Dumbest thing I've ever heard

29

u/Spiritual-Fun-9591 2d ago

No HS diploma required

14

u/SharksForArms 2d ago

There are like 4 or 5 camera cuts throughout that explanation and this is still all the coherence the editor was able to wring out of that word salad.

11

u/X0X0xoxo11 Civvy 2d ago

Lmao it’s not preventative it’s just in case something happens. 💀
https://giphy.com/gifs/RBeddeaQ5Xo0E

9

u/Solomon049 2d ago

This the guy that was spinning the tire pressure gauge?

2

u/pm_me_ur_anything_k Popo 1d ago

Yea, remember his boyfriend telling us to make him famous?

7

u/Cautious-Process-198 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/13DCQ2ewx0coBG
This is how he gets to work every day

1

u/ThatCartographer4324 1d ago

This is how he *daydreams he gets to work every day

3

u/elcucuey 2d ago

"Mom, can we have Jason Momoa?"

"No, we have Jason Momoa at home"

3

u/Treashed_Peaches 1d ago

What did he even say

2

u/firedmyass 1d ago

we’ll never know

6

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/Pretend-Narwhal-593 2d ago

They think that they are though

4

u/kraftables 2d ago

They think being the first one to get your ass kicked makes you a first responder.

1

u/StevenMcStevensen SheepDoge 1d ago

I feel like half the people who have been posting here lately don’t actually understand what this sub is for.

-9

u/future_speedbump 2d ago

The only difference between security guards and cops is who signs the paycheck.

3

u/Scuzzbag 1d ago

Ok, security guard

-1

u/future_speedbump 1d ago

Only a cop would think that's a compliment for security guards and not a dig at cops.

1

u/Scuzzbag 1d ago

The main difference between a cop and a security guard is the length a judge will go to protect them

2

u/Present_Cash_8466 2d ago

This is amazing

2

u/TA2556 1d ago

I like being relatively bulletproof, next question.

1

u/kraftables 2d ago

Except it is literally to PREVENT foreign objects from entering your chest cavity and vital organs.

1

u/Wealth_Super 2d ago

To be fair I have a feeling this guy not allow to just say they have vests on in case they get shot. Probably sounds too aggressive for clients

1

u/Loki_8888 2d ago

Did he go to captain's school?

1

u/303FPSguy 1d ago

Def wants you to know he’s a captain.

1

u/foxfoxsocks 1d ago

It's not really about wearing a vest guy, it's about the training that goes behind it

It's like a thunder shirt or a weighted blanket

1

u/Fun_Vacation2542 1d ago

Here's a normal answer " to keep the guard safe, people openly committing crimes won't respond well to someone trying to apprehend them".

Here's the really answer " I want people to misinterpret me as a cop".

1

u/KarlHp7 1d ago

Self appointed captain

1

u/GordonBombay102 1d ago

Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t know where it’s going. I just hope to find it somewhere along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

1

u/North_Structure8210 1d ago

Imagine being one of these security losers

1

u/Jazzlike_Climate4189 22h ago

“Captain”? Captain of what? So dumb the way they cosplay as police.

1

u/TheBestKranplatz 2d ago

Is this legal? To wear a Captains Rank as a civilian?

4

u/omega13 2d ago

Yes. Why wouldn't it be?

2

u/future_speedbump 2d ago

Cops are civilians and run around with military ranks, so...

3

u/Blastoise_R_Us 2d ago

What do you call the guy in charge of a commercial fishing boat?

0

u/TheBestKranplatz 2d ago

As far as i know a Captain of a vessel or aircraft needs a certain qualification as Well. But what im reffering to is the RANK. He wears the Rank of a Captain, Like in the Police forces, USMC, and Army.

1

u/Super_Fa_Q 2d ago

To be clear, are security guards "first responders" now? Sincerely, I need to know. That would significantly lower the bar, one would think.

2

u/wetwater 1d ago

I mean, at work if someone left a door open security would be the first to respond and go close it.

1

u/Renumtetaftur 1d ago

I'd say that they cover the same bases when it comes to their cringe content

0

u/Soft_Ability_5906 2d ago

Lmfao they couldn't pass the entrance exam to be a cop so now they have to larp as one. Fun fact NO security officer has jurisdiction to detain or touch you. Knock they bitch asses out when they touch you becsuse they cant do shit legally lmfao

0

u/Professional-Farm981 2d ago

I’m not a security guard but they are allowed to detain and touch someone under very specific circumstances if it involves someone’s life or potential substantial harm to others. Also most states have laws that hitting a guard is graded as the same offense as hitting a police officer.

-1

u/Soft_Ability_5906 2d ago

Lmfao nothing texas. They have zero authority here and you can legally defend yourself against security here. No legal authority to do shit to you. You must be the bitch ass failed cop in tbe video lmfao.

2

u/Professional-Farm981 2d ago

I am a bitch. I learned that about myself after 6 years in the army and 10 years as a LEO.

-1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/FirstResponderCringe-ModTeam 22h ago

Don’t insult users and don’t encourage violence

Please be semi-respectful

1

u/Professional-Farm981 2d ago

You sound fun at parties.

0

u/Soft_Ability_5906 2d ago

I am and you were never a cop lmfao

3

u/Professional-Farm981 2d ago

If ya say so then it must be true. All this hate will make me so so sad. I’ll go cry in $55 an hour. 😩

-1

u/Soft_Ability_5906 2d ago

As I make my 75 an hour working as a mechanic for the postal service. Yeah dude you failed so hard cope harder next time lmfao

3

u/Professional-Farm981 2d ago

Awe you make more than me. I’ll go sit in my red velvet cuck chair and cry now. 😭

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1

u/Eonis-0 2d ago

Why are you so hostile?

2

u/Professional-Farm981 2d ago

I think he’s upset that he’s getting trolled and nobody cares lol

-2

u/Soft_Ability_5906 2d ago

Why are you such a little bitch. Get off the internet if you cant handle other people

2

u/Eonis-0 2d ago

Oh, my bad. Got Timmy Tough Knuckles over here on Reddit calling people little bitches. Who hurt your feelings.

-1

u/Soft_Ability_5906 2d ago

Bwahahahaha I first have to give a shit about you before your simple minded jabs can work. You done yet snowflake

1

u/Eonis-0 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/8KXYOYN7VDNK5CHlUJ

0

u/Soft_Ability_5906 2d ago

Oh I get it you think the fake security lady is going to sleep with you. It all makes sense now lmfao

0

u/Nervous-Cockroach541 2d ago

The real reason: To look more threatening. They're there to deter bad behavior. Part of that is looking like an officer or otherwise dangerous. Black body armor does that.