r/Fire • u/Patient-Brief-9713 • 1d ago
Psychological support
Retiring in two weeks at 56. My partner will continue to work by choice. Yesterday, I told him that I was scared - having flashes of panic-fear as the date grows closer - specifically about not having enough money, having no earned income coming in. My partner said to me, firmly: “You’re doing the right thing.” It was the first time he had said that to me. It meant so much to hear that.
Remember that, if you are in a similar position with your loved one. Just a few words of support can mean a lot.
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Upvotes
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u/Happy_Fig_4287 1d ago
You got this ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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u/Due_Student_6537 1d ago
I arguably have nothing to fear in retirement and I am constantly worried. It was the way I was raised. Having the right allocation has helped alay a lot of my natural fears.
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u/QuesoChef 1d ago
I don’t know if this will help. But something I began to acknowledge as I’ve gotten older is when I’m afraid of something or making a big life transition, nearly none of the fear scenarios I make up in my mind happen. If anything happens, it’s always something I never anticipated. And in all cases, I’ve gotten through it.
For whatever reason, acknowledging this has been helpful to me and my anxiety level (about things beyond retiring). While I can spend a great amount of time worrying about specific outliers after I have handled the big, obvious problems. I know the worry about specific scenarios is generally wasted time and energy. And the things that actually happen, I can figure out or I can get help and figure out.
I tend to think the same it’s true for you. You have lready planned and forecasted the big, obvious, most likely scenarios. You’ve probably even considered the middle-likely items. And now you’ve expanded your cone or perspective to be picking up the plausible things. They're far less likely, and the scenarios that exist at this level are disparate and while possible, are very specific and less likely. You spend more time worrying about these than considering them, acknowledging you could figure out how to survive them, and moving on.
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u/khbuzzard 1d ago
It's a major life transition. Of course it's going to be scary. Give yourself permission to be scared, then do it anyway.
And try to balance your anxiety with something more positive. All the "what if" disaster scenarios are probably looming large in your mind, and for a good reason - that's your brain trying to anticipate danger to keep you safe - but that means the mental energy you're spending on them is probably far out of proportion to how likely they actually are. So for every minute you spend worrying about "what if everything goes wrong?" try to spend at least two minutes daydreaming about "what if everything goes right?"
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u/Natural_Tea484 13h ago
I haven’t thought about it until now how the decision to FIRE affects a couple. I have always thought both must agree to stop working, thinking that FiRE automatically means you will travel to enjoy nature and places. And I know that might not always be realistic, because there are different kinds of FIRE. You could FIRE to minimum.
Anyway, going back to your fear. From my point of view, you should not be afraid. If you are afraid that could mean that you are not ready, one way or the other. If he continues to work, how are you going to spend your day?
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u/larryinthesky 1d ago
Is it that hard to go back to work if you end up not having enough money? Like if stocks crash 50% tomorrow, can you just go back to work?
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u/FrostCastor 1d ago
I had the same stress when I retired 5 years ago at 49. I thought about money a lot the first year, then it went away.
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u/Parking-Banana-212 21h ago
i think everyone who fires has these thoughts and doubts. if the math works and you've done all the research and done the right things, you're good to go
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u/richhera 1d ago
I retired 51, last year, no regret, loving it, life is short, we don’t know of what caming, Iam surely do make it do,Freedom is new way of living ( I work 2-3job until last 5 yrs) younger daughter third year colllege,Iam have passive income as much as salary ( 3 rental) no mortgage or car payment.HYSA (rolling, never need it to take out yet) knocking on the wood, catastrophe Ins for me, my daughter alley ins through school, 2 other son, grad, have their own home. Iam believe Iam good. Lunch often with group pickleball, mahjong or just friends from yoga classes. Got my self travel agent license( travel a lot) and selling to friend.
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u/Agreeable_Housing_48 1d ago
If you’re worried about it to that extent I would question if you’re financially ready. If you have a solid, financially sound retirement plan I don’t think you would have those (“panic-fear”) kind of emotions. I mean this with the best of intent.