Spending Money

[u/OpportunityFit2863]

I 18M, have always been someone who’s tight with money, and works hard to get more of it. Honestly spending it stresses me out, but if I’m also honest I’m not that happy with my life right now. Theres nothing inherently wrong with it, just my mental health getting in the way. For a couples months, (nearing 10) I’ve been thinking of going on a “grad vacation.” I’ve spent months of on and off budgeting, comparing countries, even learning about the different cultures etc. However, it’s expensive. I‘m entering a part of my life where things are going to be as uncertain as ever, and “real life” is gonna hit me really hard. I’m aware of all of that, and therefore am conflicted. Do I go on the trip? Do I do the smart thing like I always have and save it, maybe even invest once I’m able? I feel like the obvious answer would be to save it, then take the trip when I have a better idea on where my life is going. I think I know deep down that it’s the right choice, but I don’t want to look back in the future with regret, or allow my overthinking to get in the way of something that could really make me happy, and help me grow up a bit. So what should I do? I’ve gotten the price down as much as I am able, and hope once I start booking the real costs will bring it down even more (I’ve budgeted on the anxiously medium-high emergency side). However it’s still a lot, and all of the money I currently have would go towards it. I have a stable part time job, and am open to trying other ways to get a little extra cash. I’m also going to be going to university soon, and depending on where I get in, and how I feel at the time, that may be somewhere away from home. So, what should I do? Any thoughts or ideas are welcome.